Fireheart
by Carly the Llama
Summary: When Zoe's sister asks her to watch Miraculous with her, she agrees. But this bonding time takes an odd turn when Zoe gets sucked into the colorful world of Miraculous, and throws things awry. Armed with knowledge useful in the fight against Hawk Moth, Ladybug and Cat Noir give her the Dragon Miraculous and she becomes the superheroine Fireheart. What could go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Zoe Carpenter**

Zoe sat at her desk, sketching a portrait of her family. She had always been a phenomenal artist, and she felt this was her best one yet. She looked down at her four-month-old kitten, Merlin, named after said character in the BBC television show, the black kitten looked up at her with big blue eyes and she picked him up, showing him the drawing "What do you think Merlin?"

The kitten mewed in response and Zoe laughed "Glad you like it. I'm going to show Eden." As if on cue, Eden ran in a few seconds later "Zoe!"

Zoe laughed "What is it, hermanita?" She wasn't Hispanic, she was half-Irish, half-Italian; yet she had always used the Spanish word to describe her little sister.

Eden sat on the bed, bouncing the soft mattress in the process, "Remember when you told me to embrace my geeky side?"

Zoe nodded.

"Well," Eden started "you've seen Miraculous, right?"

Zoe nodded again, this time partially unsure, "The one with the Ladybug and Cat themed superheroes with the awkward love square and a Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader situation? If so, you asked me to look up release dates a month ago and I absorbed the plot."

Eden rolled her eyes "Yeah. Anyway, Part 2 of Season 2 _finally_ came out in on Netflix and I was wondering if you would watch with me. We can make popcorn!"

Zoe smiled warmly, she needed a break anyways, her 'creative juices' as her best friend, Sam, tended to call them, needed filling; meaning she couldn't draw anymore until she had a break, like writers' block, besides, she had nothing better to do. "Count me in. Movie popcorn or fresh?"

Eden grinned as though she was younger than ten, "Can we do both? And have chocolate? Mom and Dad won't be home for a few hours!"

Zoe smirked and ruffled her sister's short light brown hair, contrasting her shoulder-length dark, nearly black, hair, "You are a girl after my heart, hermanita. Let's go."

Ten minutes, much popcorn making and chocolate eating later, Zoe and Eden were snuggling together underneath and _Kingdom Hearts 2_ blanket.

Eden beamed giddily and hugged her older sister "Thanks Zoe."

"No problem."

Eden turned on the television and the intro song began to play, but after a moment, the television began to flicker with green sparks.

"Oh god!" Eden shrieked "I don't want to get sucked into Jumanji!"

A shockwave erupted from the television and Zoe dove in front of her sister to shield her and felt... weird, for lack of better word.

Then she felt like she was falling...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Welcome to Paris**

Zoe landed on her butt and immediately realized she was animated.

"What the frack?!" She clutched her throat, she had been trying to say, "what the fuck" but no curse words came out.

She heard a voice behind her "Hey, are you okay? You just fell out of the sky!"

Zoe turned and saw a girl with blue hair styled in pigtails and big, bluebell eyes "I'm Marinette, what's your name?"

Zoe felt like she was going to faint, realizing how accurate Eden's fear of being sucked into Jumanji had been, she was in Miraculous. She turned to Marinette "I'm fine Ladybug." Marinette paled significantly before walking up to her "How do you know?!"

Zoe frowned, not ready to deal with this shit. There was a thing called warnings. This was not how she imagined the day going. "Don't tell me I hit my head in the fall, I'm from another world where this is all a television show, so I know about you, Cat Noir and Hawk Moth."

Marinette gaped, "Come with me."

OoOoO

Marinette turned into Ladybug and led Zoe into an apartment complex and they were greeted with the sight of Master Fu and Cat Noir.

"Hello, my lady, I got an alert and came here," Cat Noir turned to Master Fu "Now will you tell me why I'm here? You explained who you are and your connection to the Miraculous, but I'm still confused."¨

Master Fu nodded, "Ladybug, I assume she has mentioned being from another world." Ladybug nodded "Is she concussed? She seems sane."

Zoe cleared her throat "Actually I suffer from depression, and extremely irritable and only get three hours of sleep a night due to nightmares, so I'm not that sane." It was true, she needed to sleep with Eden, Merlin or her Dad most nights; sometimes Sam when her Dad was out of town, in a totally platonic way.

Master Fu nodded again "I am aware of this Zoe Invi Carpenter."

Zoe took a step back "How the frankin-freak do you know my name? And what's with the no cursing?!"

Master Fu sighed "A side effect, you should get that back soon."

Cat Noir—Adrien Agreste—frowned, because equality to Adrien? What's that? This poor boy was just as confused as Zoe herself was, if not more so. "Side effect of what?"

Master Fu turned a jewelry box full of Miraculouses, dug around a bit before taking out a choker with a dragon on it, suspiciously like the Pendragon crest from Merlin, "Here," he said "I brought you here because you are a perfect candidate for this Miraculous, Fireheart. As my final test, I made the transfer between worlds look more dangerous than it really was, and you passed by being willing to sacrifice yourself to save your sister. Not to mention, you are aware of exterior forces, like Hawk Moth."

Cat Noir looked at Zoe in wonder "You know who Hawk Moth is?!"

Zoe debated spilling the beans then and there, but wanted to be a little less blunt when revealing Adrien had to be Luke Skywalker in this situation; and there was no redemption ark in this story, probably not at least. She nodded but remained silent.

Master Fu placed the choker around her neck and a dragon-kwami came out. It was the same size as all the other kwamis and was red with four black horns on its forehead, a black horn on each side of its face, and red horns from the upper back of its head with black spirals. It also had golden eyes, a whisker on each cheek next to its mouth, two small black spikes on its lower back, and a long tail with three tips at the end. It smiled "Hi! I'm Blazze!"

Zoe grinned "Boy or girl, Blazze?"

Blaze shrugged "Kwami are genderless, but my pronoun is 'she' or 'her'"

"Okie. How do I transform?"

Blazze laughed and turned to Master Fu "Good choice, this one doesn't doddle." She turned back to Zoe "Just say 'Blazze, wings out.'"

 _Really, another pitiful transformation cue. Why can't it be something awesome like Alya's? Whatever._ Zoe looked to Ladybug and Cat Noir, the latter giving thumbs up "Okay then. Blazze, wings out!" She felt herself transform and looked down to find she was in a red and black outfit similar style to Rena Rouge and Ladybug, but it was styled almost like scales and there was a fire-like pattern on her forearms, and a black belt with a sword was at her hip. The sword wasn't a saber like Hawk Moth's, but it was slightly smaller than Cloud's broadsword from the _Final Fantasy_ games.

Cat Noir gaped "Mew. You look hot."

Fireheart rolled her eyes "I thought you were head over heels in love with Ladybug."

Cat Noir turned bright red, matching Ladybug's suit "I—uh—I am. But I can't deny a fact." Ladybug nodded "You look great, look in the mirror."

Fireheart turned and got a look at herself for the first time since coming to this world, she didn't know if it applied to without the costume, but Adrien wasn't wrong when he said she looked hot, her red and black mask having the fire patter like her forearms, contrasting her stark white skin and complementing the rest of her outfit, and the crimson red at the tips of her hair.

She turned to Master Fu "What are my powers?"

Master Fu smiled proudly, clearly enjoying his decision, "You _don't_ doddle. Your powers are fire, flight, default heightened strength, speed and agility along with swordsmanship, though your sword doesn't draw blood nor kill, it sends a burning sensation through its victim. The fire can create shields, but otherwise works like Ladybug's Lucky Charm or Cat Noir's Cataclysm, one-time use, but it can purify an Akuma and destroy its vessel."

Cat Noir looked to Master Fu "Awesome! Why didn't you use that before?!"

Master Fu sighed "There are rules as to who a certain Miraculous goes to. It took me years to travel between worlds, she was the first and best candidate for the dragon I found."

"What does that mean?" Fireheart asked.

"Let's just say everyone's in for a treat when she meets Chloe Bourgeois." Master Fu answer with a chuckle. Ladybug frowned "About that... where does she live?"

Master Fu looked Cat Noir in the eye for a moment before turned back to Ladybug, "In the process of world travel, I was able to alter one person of my choosing's memories. I have altered the memories of Gabriel Agreste to think he has taken Zoe in as his new ward after the 'death' of his good friends, your parents, Zoe. You parents are still on your world but it's to sell the story, your whole town died via a bomb in this world."

Fireheart blinked, then blinked again. That was quite dark for a kids show. Maybe this would be going the way of the Kingdom Hearts franchise, just getting gradually darker, but it's all okay because of love and friendship. "So…I live with Adrien?"

Master Fu nodded.

Cat Noir chuckled nervously "My place is close to the Agreste mansion if you want me to take you."

Fireheart smiled "Thanks."

Cat Noir took her hand and looked back at her, "Oh yeah, welcome to Paris."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Bonding**

Cat Noir ran across the rooftops and Fireheart did her best to follow, finding she was much faster than normal, she didn't want to risk flying on her first day because _reasons_.

They landed in the Agreste manor via the window to what was once the guest room but was now a room identical to Zoe's room on her world, other than the second floor with a large video-game council and a light-turquoise couch. The walls were white, except for a singular sky-blue accent on the wall where her bed was; bookshelves covered the wall closest to the door; art supplies were by the window and to top it all off: there was a walk-in closet and bathroom. It was the same size as Adrien's room, so it was more spacey, and there was a white rug, television and computers. To say the least, it was her dream room."

She looked at Cat Noir, "Suddenly I don't want to go back."

Cat Noir's ring beeped, and he smiled "Got to go, Fireheart. To change back, you say "Blazze, wings in." Then he was gone."

"Blazze, wings in." There was a flash and she was back to normal.

She looked in a mirror and found her pale skin was flawless, her dark hair was wavier, and her blue eyes had a sparkle to them she hadn't seen since she was a little girl, before she started middle school, before her mother became way too controlling. She still had what her classmates called 'impossibly model-like body' though it was really from eating the bare minimum, she wasn't anorexic, but nerves from being around her mother during the school year made her lose her appetite faster than Hilary Clinton's dreams on Election Night. She loved food, she just didn't eat often. She also saw her dark-cerulean shirt with the words 'Trash Panda' with the picture of a raccoon and her navy jeans were still intact. She had to admit, she was beautiful, not that she ever thought she would say those words.

Adrien came in as Adrien a moment later "Hey Zoe. How do you like your room?"

"Great, kitty."

Adrien paled like Marinette did and shut the door "You really do know everything about me." Zoe shrugged "I guess. I could tell you who the love of your life is, and I will have you know almost everyone on my world wants it to happen."

Adrien sat on the bed, blushing "Really?"

Zoe smirked "Yup. Don't look at the Fanfics."

Adrien winced "That's a thing on your world too?"

"Yup, I learned how to sew up a wound from the whump fics. That and CERT classes."

Adrien laughed "Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope!"

Adrien rolled his eyes "Changing subject, what do you like to do on your world?"

Zoe thought about this "Draw, read, hang out with my sister, play with my cat, go out with my best friend, write, fence... Be away from my mother when she's in a mood."

Adrien looked up and the last two "You fence?"

Zoe grabbed a foil she didn't realize had been sitting in her closet and got in a defensive position playfully "Yup. Top of my class, two hours away from my mom."

Adrien stopped smiling "What's wrong with you mom? You likely know this, but I lost my mom, I would do anything to have one."

Zoe sighed, sitting on the bed and hugging him "I am deeply sorry for that. My mother was your typical loving mother... until I got into an advanced middle school/high school, then she became…weird… expecting all A's. She's like your father at times, you change yourself to please them, but it's never enough." She was venting out her problems on a fictional character she had never met before, and yet couldn't bring herself to give a fuck; Adrien was looking at her, shockingly, like a protective brother, "Go on. Unless it hurts too much."

"Since you brought it up, can I unload all my crap on you?" She dully noted she had mildly swore but she was too wrapped in an emotional terminal.

Adrien hugged her "Tell me everything you want to. Finally, I have a friend who understands the pain!"

Zoe gave a teary-eyed smile before continuing, "When I met Sam, my best friend, everything changed. He could help me study, get better grades. He told me I could talk to him whenever I needed someone." Adrien smiled, clearly liking the idea of having someone like Sam. Zoe continued "By then my grades were straight A's, by mom got me a kitten, who I called Merlin, he was a great companion, kind of like Plagg, except he didn't beg for Camembert 24/7." Plagg flew out of Adrien's jacket at that "Camembert is delicious. Don't blame me!" Blazze came out from behind Zoe and the two kwamis started flying around, talking amongst themselves.

Adrien looked at Zoe "Where was you dad?"

Zoe took a deep breath "On business most of the time. He ran a software company, so he needed to be in Europe or Spokane most of the time. I'm from Seattle, Washington, North America."

Adrien sighed "I can relate to wanting to please your parent more than anything. I can be your Sam. If I can come to you."

Zoe hugged him again, shaking his hand in a deal, "Deal, kitty. Now let's talk about happy things."

OoOoO

Natalie came in as Zoe was telling Adrien about the misadventures she and her cousins would get into.

"—at this point, I had grown to detest I-spy, so I tied him up with the rope Connor dropped when he jumped and gagged him with a piece of spare shirt. Lucy had just woken up from eating the furry Camembert and swore to never eat dairy products again."

Adrien was laughing hysterically, and Natalie's heart warmed to see the usually sad boy so happy, this girl was clearly helping already. She cleared her throat "Dinner's ready. Mr. Agreste won't be joining you... so I'll give you an exception and let you eat in here."

Zoe grinned broadly "Thanks!"

"Call me if you need me."

When she was gone, Zoe looked to Adrien, "Where was I?"

"Lucy was swearing never to eat dairy products again."

"Ah yes, Eden wasn't sober yet from the accidental vodka intake, so she started asking questions. But what she called 'the important questions in life,' I call the 'what the hell is wrong with you?' questions. From asking if apples screamed in pain when they were eaten but beyond the rang of hearing to why sheep didn't shrink when it rained; I needed a break. Then Charlie got up and asked to come with me... I kind of blew up, ranting and screaming... then Harry, who was trying to fashion a hood in the middle of a ditch for his shaved head, started playing I-fricking-spy."

Adrien was bending over from laughter "Is he…still…alive?"

Zoe smirked "He got tied up with Sylas and I finished the shaving job."

Adrien was wiping tears from his eyes when Natalie walked in with two burgers and fries, "Special treat for the Seattle girl." She smiled and left.

Adrien looked at the burger questioningly "What is it?"

Zoe gasped dramatically, "You don't know?! Damn, I thought _I_ lived under a rock. Eat it. It's a burger, we eat them all the time at home."

Adrien took a bite and the smile the bloomed on his face made Zoe's heart smile, a foreign feeling. "Wha—what have I been missing out on?"

Zoe rolled her eyes "You're a model, so a lot. Something that, as your new sister, I shall fix." Adrien smiled before eating a French fry and his eyes went wide, "Thank you for coming into my life."

Zoe laughed, eating her food and enjoying it for the first time in forever, "No problem, kitty."

OoOoO

Patrol was at ten and Cat Noir led Fireheart through the city, because she was new and would get lost.

They found Ladybug at the top of the Eiffel Tower, "Hey guys; Fireheart, how was moving in?"

Fireheart shrugged "Great, Adrien's a really nice guy."

Ladybug blushed "He is." Fireheart smirked at this, wondering how long she would have to taunt for Adrien to get the hint.

They sat on the tower for a bit before Fireheart broke the silence "It's beautiful. On my world, Paris gets bombed and attacked by terrorists so often there are armed guards surrounding the tower. Drug dealers, black markets..."

Cat Noir put a hand on her shoulder "Things will get better."

Fireheart sighed "They won't. From Global Warming to the fact we might be on the brink of World War III, North Korea made peace but who knows when that will go south, no pun intended; though I will be finding dragon puns."

Cat Noir smirked at the mention of puns " _Purr_ fect," he looked at Ladybug "See my lady, I'm not the only one who does puns."

Ladybug laughed "Good going Fireheart, you got him purring."

Fireheart joined in the laughter "How does patrol work?"

Ladybug blushed "I already did it. I assumed Cat Noir would be showing you around... and I want to get to know you, so let's just chat."

OoOoO

Fireheart landed back in her bedroom and changed back, Cat Noir turning back into Adrien and grinned at her "Night Zoe, see you tomorrow, you better not fail in giving me a treat when meeting Chloe."

She smiled at the closed door for a moment before putting on light grey sweat pants and a baggy dark-grey shirt that said '#DoItAnyway' and laid back in her extremely comfy bed; Blazze flew in her face "Can I have the leftovers from the French fries you stashed in your drawer, I'm not picky like other kwami, I'll eat anything."

Zoe shrugged, "Go ahead." Then she was asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Warning - From here on out, there will be a fuck ton of pop-culture references.**

 **Chapter 4: The fire in Fireheart**

Zoe woke up to the sound of her new brother knocking, it was odd she already considered him her brother, but he was a likable guy, and she was living with him, so why not? She drearily woke up and heard Adrien's voice,

"You dressed, or are you like me and tend to oversleep?"

Zoe looked at her clock and panicked to see it was 7:02a.m, she jumped out of bed and looked through her closet, through the designer clothes she wasn't a fan of. Eventually, she settled for a grey shirt, navy jeans, a jean jacket Blazze hide in and black combat boots. She put on her choker, opened the door and both teens ran to the limo where Gorilla was waiting, "Sorry, overslept."

Adrien laughed as they buckled their seatbelts "How was your sleep?"

Zoe thought about this and realized she didn't have her meds, and she slept through the night alone, not counting Blazze, no nightmares, "The best night sleep I've had in years."

OoOoO

They got to school—which they could have probably walked to in less time—and Adrien showed her to the locker room and where the class was, before running over to Nino, Alya and Marinette to explain her presence.

Zoe put her stuff in her locker before walking out and hearing an obnoxious-sounding laugh. She turned and saw a girl she remembered Eden mentioned being Chloe, bullying a red-haired boy she recognized as Nathanael from The Evillustrator. She walked over and saw Chloe throw a sketchbook on the ground at Zoe's feet and laughing her obnoxious laugh "You're so lame Nathanael. You don't even draw good."

Zoe felt her blood boil and a protective desire she knew well filled her, she felt this when someone made fun of Sam or Eden and it never ended well for the one who caused it. She picked up the journal and walked up to them, deciding it was time to pull some pop-culture scenes, "I think that's enough."

Chloe looked at her with her way-too-large eyes "And who are you?"

Zoe smirked "I'm Zoe, Gabriel Agreste's ward and a good friend of Adrien's."

Chloe rolled her eyes "No matter. You can't tell me what to do, my daddy is the mayor and he could take you apart with one blow."

Zoe scoffed, though she was genuinely impressed she was getting as far into this scene as she had gotten, "I could take you both apart in less than that. So, get away from the boy or I'll get angry, and you don't want me to get angry." Time to divert and be a badass.

Chloe seemed angry this strange girl wasn't bending to her will like everyone else, "And what will you do, I have all the power."

Zoe gave a dark chuckle which all onlookers, most of the school, feared meant she was getting akumatized, but Adrien and Marinette were smirking inwardly, knowing they were getting their treat.

She looked up, her eyes taking a wild look which had Chloe backing up slightly "I'll unleash the deadliest weapons of all: the truth. I'll let you know you won't have the power forever. Mayor is an elected position. Not to mention the simple fact you are not as amazing as you think you are and have single-handedly akumatized half the people in the city; you think Hawk Moth is the bad guy? You, Chloe, help him grow stronger. I could charge you with bribery, blackmailing, false evidence, abuse, emotional assault... do I need to keep going? I could for hours."

Chloe looked on the brink of either inhumane rage or running off to scream at her father, while everyone was wondering if she was done so they could applaud, Zoe wasn't done "Why do you look up to Ladybug?"

Chloe seemed taken aback "Because she's cool and—" Zoe put a finger to Chloe's lips "Did you know Ladybug in real life has been one of your victims for years. She hates you, yet she's willing to help you when someone targets you out of the goodness in her heart and GOD, I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I _HATE_ BULLIES LIKE YOU WHO THINK THEY'RE A LITTLE PRINCESS WHO DON'T REALIZE THIS IS THE TWENTY FIRST CENTRY AND YOU ARE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! DON'T THINK I NEED TO BE AKUMATIZED TO CALL OUT YOUR BULLSHIT, BITCH!" She took a deep breath before placing her lips so close to Chloe's ear they were nearly touching "Don't say I didn't warn you if I find you doing something like this again." She handed Nathanael his journal back and strutted off to class.

There was a pause before everyone, including the teachers and principal, applauded and cheered the girl in the classroom, breaking them out of Chloe's reign of terror—at least until the mayor came, but nobody wanted to think about that right now.

Chloe ran off, taking Sabrina by the hand.

OoOoO

Lunch came, and Zoe found herself the most popular girl in school, which was beyond weird, because she was used to being the social introvert and president of the Anti-Social Social Club at school—that she literally founded, and all they did was sit in silence.

Adrien came up and ruffled her hair, "Good going Zo! I have been given my treat." He turned to the three people behind him: Alya, Nino and Marinette. Zoe shook Marinette's hand "I met you when I was looking around and got lost, thanks for helping me find Ladybug."

Marinette gave her a grateful look before beaming "Oh, Zoe as in Mr. Agreste's new ward. Nice to officially meet you and thank you for ending Chloe's reign of terror."

Zoe shrugged "There was this asshole kid in my neighborhood back in Seattle who loved targeting my little sister, I got good at handling bullies; nobody bothered me after I socked the school bully in the eye at my old school." This was all true, she just needed to play on the idea they were all dead now.

Alya put an arm around her shoulder "I have respect for you! Were you being serious or in a blind rage?"

"Yes."

Nino frowned "Do you live in some dystopia?"

"Did." She replied, looking away and changing her expression to demonstrate her mood darkening.

Marinette gasped "Oh that's right, the bomb wiped out your city!"

Nino and Alya gasped as well "How did you survive?"

Zoe thought about this for a split second and used her mastered lying skills brought on by drama class and having an oppressive mother, "I was visiting my Grandma on her deathbed in Chicago. My sister was too young, Mother didn't want to hire a babysitter and Dad had an important meeting, so they sent me. I was packing up her possessions when I heard about the bomb... by family... my best friend... my kitten..." she had to fight real tears coming into her eyes at the idea it may become a reality one day.

Alya hugged her, followed by Marinette, then Adrien, then Nino, "We're here for you. You're in our friend group now."

Zoe smiled and pulled out her cellphone, which had been in her pocket when she traveled between worlds, so it came with her, "Here's my number," she showed them the number and they all entered it in their phones.

Nino looked up "What's your last name?"

"Carpenter."

Nathanael walked up to them "Uh—Zoe, right? I wanted to thank you for helping me earlier." He pulled out a piece of paper "I drew you this. If you want it."

Zoe looked at it and blushed, it was her, a gorgeous drawing of her. She looked back up at Nathanael "I love it." She hugged him "You know, I draw too, if you want to come over some time."

Nathanael beamed "Thank you, for everything."

OoOoO

The day ended, and nobody had been akumatized, Adrien watched as Alya was showing Zoe the Ladyblog. He had to admit, this girl was probably the best thing to happen to him other than getting his Miraculous.

He yelped as someone tugged his arm and pulled him into a storage closet.

"Adrikins! Why did you let your new friend talk to me that way?!" Chloe shrieked.

Adrien shrugged "Because she wasn't wrong. I've called you out on it and things didn't change. She is the first one willing to stand up to you with force and I won't stop her. I think you should heed her words... or face the consequences, because I have enough of a self-preservation instinct to not try changing her mind."

He walked out of the closet and saw Zoe about to open it, she sent a death glare at Chloe and turned back to him "Did she hurt you? If she tried to sexually assault you, we'll find ourselves with one less Chloe."

Chloe squeaked and sprinted away at that and Adrien laughed "She was just giving me a hard time for not stopping your verbal smackdown."

Zoe nodded in acceptance and amusement before feeling someone tap her shoulder. She whirled around and saw Sabrina, who handed her a large stack of paper, "Here! As a thank you for breaking us free from Chloe, I took and did your Geometry homework."

Zoe gaped, both out of shock, and wondering how the hell Sabrina had gotten her hands on her geometry homework, "Uh... thank you. You didn't need to do that though."

Sabrina shrugged "That's what friendship is."

"Um... did Chloe tell you that?" Zoe asked worriedly, "Because this is, while very nice and I thank you, not what friendship is. Friendship is being nice to people." She squeezed the red- head's shoulder "Thanks again though."

Sabrina beamed "No problem!" She skipped off.

Zoe and Adrien waved goodbye to Marinette, Alya and Nino, hopping in the limo.

Adrien looked at the homework pile and flipped through it, "Wow, I think she did more than just your geometry homework."

Zoe flipped through and found all her homework _and_ Adrien's in the pile "I'll have to make her a thank-you note later."

Adrien nodded "At least I'll get some sleep tonight between homework, fencing, and piano." He mouthed 'and patrol'.

Zoe grimaced before looking to Gorilla, "Please Mr. Gorilla, do not repeat a word of what you're going to hear." Gorilla just breathed loudly as though saying yes and put on some comically small headphones. She just shrugged and turned back to Adrien, "I hate piano. I can play, but it gets on my nerves faster than I can play a song."

Adrien sighed in relief "Same. I don't know why my father needs me to know these things. I'll never be good enough,"

Zoe put a hand on his shoulder and handed him a bar of chocolate—a thank-you from a teacher, there were at least three others, "Eat, and I will have you know that your father sees you as perfect. He even said it to Ladybug."

Adrien's eyes widened, "Really?!"

"Yup. During the Simon Says incident he mentioned it and how much you remind him of your mother."

Adrien took out his phone and looked at the photo of Emilie Agreste, "Do you know what happened to her?"

Zoe closed the window between the driver and the passengers "No, but there's a Peacock Miraculous of some sort in your father's safe, the kwami's name is Duusu. I think that would be step one in finding out. But it will be stolen sometime in the future and create the super-villain, Mayura, who will either make Hawk Moth look like a baby…or be his partner; the fandom wiki was unclear."

Adrien beamed "So we get it and ask Duusu—" he gasped, and his eyes got watery "My father has a Miraculous as well…doesn't he?"

Zoe didn't respond, watching the traffic like it was the most interesting thing in the world, trying to find the best way to answer the question without spilling the beans or lying; but Adrien got his answer. He put his face in his hands "My father is Hawk Moth, isn't he? That's why you didn't tell Ladybug and I when we were at Master Fu's."

Zoe grimaced and slowly nodded "I didn't know how to tell you. I'm generally a blunt person, but I'm not cruel. I wasn't going to hide it for long, especially when Mayura comes into the picture at the end of Season 2; so that would be in roughly eleven akumas, then Natalie is going to get akumatized and somehow bring back twelve previous akumas, including but not limited to, Glaciator, Stormy Weather, Volpina and Befana. There are a couple that haven't happened yet."

"Can we... not tell Ladybug for a bit? Please." Adrien asked, "I want to try solving the solve the problem myself."

Zoe nodded "Don't let this eat you. If it makes you feel better, getting your ring and Ladybug's earrings create one wish, and the whole fandom on my world thinks your father is using the wish to get your mother back, though that same fandom also thinks it's your mother or Natalie who is Mayura in the first place. There are three types of fans on the topic of your mother: either she's dead, she packed up and left, or she's living inside of a coffin in a coma in the basement of the mansion and lives as a half-peacock mutant monster bent on destruction due to a mishap with a Miraculous and now it's Gabriel's job to take care of her and feed her birdseed all while keeping her existence a secret from you."

Adrien smiled sadly "That does and doesn't make me feel better, and that last one is a bit ridiculous, but so is my father spitting out demon butterflies to possess people. Because I honestly removed him from the list of suspects after seeing the Bubbler's costume, which was objectively and metaphorically the worst; and my father is a fashion designer." He chucked, then became serious again, "Though I'm sensing a 'but.'"

Zoe bit her lip, "How do I put this...? Have you seen _BBC Merlin_?"

Adrien thought about this "No. Maybe. I don't know."

Zoe pulled out her phone and showed the cover for Season 1. Adrien shrugged "Heard of it. Haven't watched it. Maybe we can together?"

"Good plan." Zoe agreed, "But what I wanted to show you was how the balance of life and death works in this universe. While you can create life—make a barren woman fertile or bring someone back from the dead—the balance needs to be restored, a life will be taken in place of the life you create. The same thing applies to this wish: the balance must be equal. The same thing would have happened in Pinocchio—you've seen Pinocchio, right—if the Blue Fairy really did turn him into a real boy, someone else would have become a puppet."

Adrien nodded as he wrapped his head around it "Robustus..."

"Precisely. Had he used the wish to become a real boy, someone else would have lost their humanity, probably Max, because it needs to be an equal sacrifice. Master Fu already explained this to Ladybug. Though most fans theorize you would be the sacrifice if your father did do it; and most of us think and pray he doesn't know."

"Tt doesn't matter if I want my mother back as much as father does... I would never take someone else's life to get what I want. And I value my life." Adrien said with the wisdom of someone who had spent years contemplating that question.

Zoe nodded "And I will remind you, there is only a 99.999999% chance this is the case. He may still be a psycho super-villain in every way and be fully ready to sacrifice you."

Adrien sighed "Let's see how things go for a bit, if things get out of hand, we tell Ladybug, but not before. Deal?"

Zoe shook his hand "Not counting if I accidentally spill the beans like I did with you."

 **A/N: Now we will start seeing some akumas. And yes, Adrien knows. This is kind of like a side plot, trying to figure out what to do. And they will eventually be going down to the creepy coffin room.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Zombizou**

Zoe walked down the hall as the school day began with Alya, Nino, Marinette and Adrien... surrounded by roughly fifteen men fighting for her affection. She told a little white and said Sam had been her boyfriend before he died and was still getting over that; besides, Sam had the hots for her for months before they had a brother-sister relationship. Not that this stopped them from now trying to help her get over her 'heart ache' by showering her with gifts. She had made a thank you note for Sabrina, who loved it. Chloe was barely feared, even though she was still a bitch and her father had threatened Gabriel to keep his ward in line. Shockingly, Gabriel held his ground and told the mayor that she was in the right for speaking up, even Adrien had been shocked; both had been expecting him to use this as an opportunity for more akumas.

Right now, it was Miss Bustier's birthday and people were asking each other what they got for her; Zoe hadn't gotten anything yet because she didn't know Miss Bustier very well, but she made a card for the time being.

Marinette sighed and turned to Zoe and Alya "I'm worried my gift is going to be lame."

Alya shrugged and Zoe laughed "Last I checked, it wasn't a competition."

Adrien walked over from chatting with Nino, "I'm sure you came up with something awesome like you always do."

Marinette opened the gift to show the others, the gifts were a teal lipstick and a small makeup pouch that said, "If we wish to change the world, we must all learn to love each other." Marinette turned to Zoe, "It's a lesson Miss Bustier taught us."

Zoe aww'd with the others then turned when she heard Chloe's walk. It is a useful skill to identify someone by their walk. "What did you get Miss Bustier, Chloe?"

Chloe remained silent and Marinette groaned "Nothing. Just like every year since kindergarten."

Zoe gaped and turned "You people did stuff for your teachers in kindergarten?! Mine would abandon us in the damn woods so all we gave them was ivy rashes disease when the parents yelled at them and they had to go find us in our various trees, real life example!" **A/N: My kindergarten literally did that. No joke.**

Everyone frowned at the idea and turned to Chloe, because Miss Bustier wasn't nearly that bad, if bad at all. Sabrina walked in front of her,

"It's not her fault, okay? Chloe just doesn't like birthdays! She never remembers them, just like her mom."

Chloe opened her mouth in shock "Yeah, well, you don't have to tell 'em my life story, either." She pushed Sabrina behind her, "Anyway, all that stuff about compliments and love? Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!"

Marinette turned to Alya and Zoe and muttered quietly "This girl has got no heart."

Chloe looked offended "Uh, of course I have a heart! Daddy will even buy me a second one, if I want."

Zoe groaned "Mayor doesn't buy blood pumping organs, this isn't _Kingdom Hearts_ , it would be rather graphic."

The class bell prevented Chloe from saying anything.

OoOoO

They were now in Miss Bustier's classroom, there was a pile of wrapped gifts on her desk. Zoe was happy Miss Bustier was loved by her students, her school, like many, had teachers who loved to make your life miserable, even one who was openly homophobic; that bitch earned a game after her called 'who can flip off Profe without getting caught', a game Zoe herself excelled at. **A/N: Another real-life example. I have a history of terrible teachers.**

"This is for you!" Alix said.

Rose placed her gift on the pile "Happy Birthday, Miss Bustier!"

Miss Bustier beamed "Oh! Thank you!"

"Happy Birthday, Miss Bustier!" All the students cheered. Zoe wondered how old this woman was, because she couldn't be older than her late twenties.

"Oh, you're all so sweet!" Miss Bustier said as she took Marinette's present to open it.

Alya grinned "Marinette made that one."

Miss Bustier took Marinette's present out, glanced at it, and makes a surprised face. Marinette's message has been scribbled over, with a crude stick figure of Marinette above what used to be the message.

Seeing the reaction, Marinette gasped, got up from her seat, retrieved her present, and examined it; she pale "What...?" Angrily, she turned to Chloe, "I know you did this, Chloe Bourgeois!"

Max checked his phone "A 99.56% certainty."

Alya glared as well "So uncool, Chloe." Zoe sent a death glare, which made Chloe squeak in fear. "Seriously lame." Marinette said.

"Calm down. We don't want to get upset on my birthday, now, do we?" Miss Bustier said, taking the present from Marinette, "Well, I think this present is wonderful." She took the lip balm out of her bag "It'll be my new cosmetics bag! Then I'll be able to think of both of you every time I use it."

Marinette gaped "What? You're gonna let her get away with this?!"

"That girl is worse than Hawk Moth!" Alya yelled. _Boom, roasted!_ Zoe thought with a chuckle.

"Zoe's right, at least half the city has gotten akumatized because of her!" Alix added.

The students start loudly talking, causing Miss Bustier to clap her hands.

"Students, please, calm down now!" The talking died "The classroom is not a place for insults and defamation! Marinette, would you come with me, please?"

Marinette looked panicked "W-What?"

Miss Bustier opened the door. "Alya. I'm relying on you to make sure things don't get out of hand while we're gone."

Alya nodded "Okay, Miss."

Marinette and Miss Bustier left the classroom. Zoe turned to Adrien—she was seated between Adrien and Nino, "I bet ten euros it's at most twenty minutes before we need to deal with an akuma."

Adrien let out a long-suffering sigh and shook her hand "I'll _safely_ take that bet."

OoOoO

It wasn't even ten minutes before an akuma came in, only it wasn't Marinette liked expected, it seemed to be Miss Bustier. She entered the classroom with a dance in her step, then hopped on top of the desk with her back towards the students, twirled her lip balm in her fingers and reapplied the balm before turning to the students.

"I have got some great news for you, students! From now on, everyone's going to hug and kiss and feel the love! Even you, Chloe."

Chloe looked confused, "Me?"

Zoe turned to Adrien and whispered, "We interrupt life to bring you Can You Feel the Love Tonight from _The Lion King_."

Adrien rolled his eyes worriedly as 'Miss Bustier' sent Chloe a kiss. Chloe pulled Sabina in front of her like a human shield "Ah! Yuck! Ew!"

The kiss hit Sabrina on the forehead, leaving a mark and Chloe pushed her away.

"Oh! What is that thing?" Sabrina asked, trying to wipe the kiss mark away.

'Miss Bustier' struck a pose—which made Zoe fight every fiber of her being which screamed for her to eye-roll—then reapplied her lip balm, trying to send another kiss. Ladybug appeared and wrapped her yo-yo around the akumatized woman's hand to stop her.

"Please, Miss Bustier! You've gotta snap out of it!"

"I'm not Miss Bustier anymore!" She pulled on Ladybug's yo-yo, throwing her against the wall "I am Zombizou!"

Zombizou attacked and Ladybug dodged. The students hurried outside of the classroom, with Adrien holding the door,

"Get out, quick!"

Zombizou sent Ladybug a kiss which she deflected with her yo-yo. Adrien shut the door behind him.

The students ran down the stairs, except Sabrina, who weakly limped down, trailing behind the rest.

"I... feel... It's suddenly gotten very warm in here." Sabrina sat down, holding her chest "I don't know what's happening, I..."

Zoe and Adrien exchanged worried glances and Chloe walked up to Sabrina, stomping her foot "Ugh! What is wrong with you?"

Just as Zoe was about to suggest getting some sort of heartburn medication, the kiss mark on Sabrina's forehead disappeared as she turned to Chloe. Sabrina's eyes glowed purple, changing her iris color. "Chloe..." Sabrina jumped on Chloe, trying to kiss her. Chloe resisted "Ugh! Get away from me!"

Adrien pulled Chloe out from under Sabrina and the redhead crawled towards the other students.

"Look out!" Adrien and Zoe shouted simultaneously.

Sabrina jumped on Mylene "Kissou."

"Mylene!" Ivan shouted, pulling Sabrina off his girlfriend "Are you okay?"

Mylene showed him a kiss mark on her cheek, "I feel... feverish... I can't—" The mark disappeared, and her eyes glowed purple, "Kissou..."

Adrien's eyes went wide "They're contagious! Don't let yourselves get kissed!"

"Don't need to tell me twice!" Zoe agreed, getting in a defensive position, "I haven't watched _Shaun of the Dead_ enough times to handle this! Even if I had, we don't have any baseball bats! And I think murder is frowned upon."

Mylene came closer, "Kissou!"

Ivan shielded them "Run! I'll hold them back!" The students ran up the stairs to the second floor, then up toward the library. Ivan guarded the stairs from Sabrina and Mylene. Adrien and Zoe looked back at Ivan for a moment.

Zoe turned to Adrien "That's the stuff of nightmares."

" _Shaun of the Dead_?" Adrien asked.

"The greatest zombie apocalypse movie _ever_ , we're watching it after all of this. But first we need to go to the Winchester, order a pint, and wait for all this to blow over."

"You have a problem."

"No shame." Zoe chuckled, "So, you pretend to be zombified and I'll pretend to beat the crap out of you so we can work under the radar."

OoOoO

Zoe saw Ladybug look around from the locker she was hiding in "Anybody here?" A locker opened, and Chloe emerged, and ran to Ladybug from behind, "Ladybug!"

Ladybug grabbed Chloe's hand instinctively and threw her over her shoulder into a locker, Zoe almost revealed herself by laughing as Ladybug blinked "Oops! Sorry! Uh... Reflex."

Everyone emerged from their lockers except Adrien as according to their plan; Alya beamed and hugged Ladybug, "Ladybug?! Yeah! We're saved!"

Nino grinned "Ladybug!"

Ladybug looked around "Are you all okay?"

"Looks like it." Alya informed.

Nino looked to Adrien's locker, "Uh... Adrien? He still hasn't come out of his locker."

Zoe smirked inwardly as Ladybug opened the locker Adrien was in.

"Adrien?"

Adrien looked up sleepily, lids half-closed and eyes rolled just far enough into the back of his head you couldn't see the jade green of his irises "Kissy boo..."

Ladybug shrieked and slammed the locker shut. Rose and Juleka, who were hugging in fear, plus Chloe, Kim, and Max, who was riding piggyback on Kim, all cried out in anguish.

"Oh, man. He must've gotten kissed on the stairs when he was saving Chloe." Alya said.

Zoe walked towards the locker "I'll handle him, you guys go."

The zombies were crowding against the locker room and Ladybug panicked, knowing her Fireheart persona "You can't!"

"And why not?" She sent Ladybug a challenging look "Adrien's like my brother, if Ivan can sacrifice himself when Mylene is zombified, I can stay with Adrien." She gave a nonchalant hand gesture "I won't go down without a fight. I'll meet ya at the Winchester." She got back in a locker "Fight me zombies!"

Ladybug sighed and turned to the others "We need to head to the roof."

They heard Ivan outside "Kissou! Mwah! Kissou!"

Ladybug opened a window, hooking her yo-yo onto something above. Zombified students broke into the locker room just as Ladybug finished, pulling Max up using her yo-yo.

Zoe stabbed a hole into the metal between the lockers with a pen and smirked at Adrien "Admit it. You low-key wanted to use the ploy to try and get a kiss out of Ladybug."

Adrien rolled his eyes "Come on, don't be ridiculous. It was your plan in the first place." He turned to Plagg, "Plagg, claws out!"

Zoe followed his example, "Blazze, wings out!"

They both transformed and opened their locker doors. Cat Noir turned to the zombies, "Sorry, guys, no autographs this time!"

Cat Noir and Fireheart ran out of the locker room, closing the door behind them.

OoOoO

Cat Noir and Fireheart jumped onto the roof to join the students.

"Hey guys, I'm all for our French greetings, but let's hold off on the kisses for now." Cat Noir said, and Fireheart nodded "Yeah, I'm not one for the greeting as it is."

Ladybug walked over "I'm glad you're here, guys. Check this out." She showed them newscast.

Nadja had a voice-over on a view of zombie attacks in the subway "Hordes of kissing zombies are spreading throughout Paris!" studio view "Let's go over to our Mayor, Mr. Bourgeois, live from City Hall."

Mr. Bourgeois began speaking from City Hall "We advise all Parisians to remain inside at this time."

Entering from off-screen, Roger jumped at Mayor Bourgeois, kissing his cheek. The mayor fell over, along with his podium and Roger. The footage cut back to Nadja in the studio and the City Hall feed became scrambled.

"Mr. Mayor? Mr. Mayor?" Nadja asked.

Chloe pushed Cat Noir away, and looked at the newscast, "Daddy?!"

Nadja was trying to wave a Zombizou kiss away with her tablet. "It looks like we're having a slight technical issue."

"She's alarmingly chill about this." Fireheart said, both parts annoyed and impressed.

The kiss hit Nadja's cheek, and she slumped over. Zombizou walked into the shot. "I took care of your father, Chloe. Show yourself!" Chloe ran away, screaming, causing Fireheart to groan then perk up as Zombizou continued "Then, Ladybug and Cat Noir? I'm coming for you. Mwah!" She kissed the camera lens, leaving a kiss mark on-screen "Unless, of course, my sweethearts get hold of you first; because very soon, the whole city will be hot on your heels!" She let out evil laughter and Fireheart sighed, slightly offended that the titular villainess didn't know her superhero alias,

"Always with the maniac cackle. Why must it always be the maniac cackle?"

Ladybug ended the feed and Alix marched sternly towards Chloe, backing her onto the roof's edge, "Chloe! Hunh! Always Chloe! You only think about yourself!"

"I don't know why we don't just give them what they want." Alya said.

"Yeah! Good idea!" Nino agreed.

Chloe rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in a rude manner, "Is it my fault if I'm better than all of you?"

Fireheart glared "Bitch."

Everyone looked at her, startled by the vulgar language from a superhero, and Cat Noir laughed lightly "You can think it, don't say it." he muttered to her quietly.

Ladybug walked up to them "Sorry to disappoint you guys, but Chloe doesn't deserve to get hit any more than you." Chloe smirked smugly, clearly more confident since she didn't think Zoe was around to beat her, and Fireheart silently gave her the finger, which was noticed by just about everyone because she wasn't trying to hide it. Ladybug continued "And we need her as bait to lure Zombizou when the time is right."

Chloe looked at Ladybug nervously "Uh... thanks?"

Rose pointed towards the edges of the roof "They're coming!" Zombified students climbed onto the roof.

Fireheart guffawed, "I have never heard of an STD that gives people zombie powers!"

Max walked up to her "Why is STD your go to?"

"She has a problem." Cat Noir replied casually, as though he had answered this, many times before.

Ladybug looked to them in exasperation "We've gotta evacuate!" she looked at a bus on the street "Over there! Cat Noir, do you know how to drive?"

"You should know the answer to that, M'Lady. I can do anything."

Ladybug gestured for him to go ahead "Kitties first, then."

Cat Noir took leapt into the air, and spun his baton, "Woo-hoo!" He landed on top of the bus, somersaulting. He extended his baton back to reach the school's rooftop and threw his belt to Ladybug.

Chloe seemed afraid. "Max and Kim, you go first."

Max and Kim angrily crossed their arms and Ladybug put Cat Noir's belt around Rose's waist, and then around Cat Noir's baton. Rose slid down the baton with her feet wrapped around it, shrieking in excitement. Cat Noir caught her and lowered her into the bus through the roof. He then caught Juleka. Ladybug sent Alya down. Nino took hold of the baton but was interrupted by zombified students. Fireheart used her fire shields "Hurry up! I don't know how long I can hold this!"

Nino slid down Cat Noir's baton. Zombified students climbed onto the roof. "Kissou-Kissou-Kissou!" came from a zombified student.

Fireheart focused her energy on her one-time power "Dragon flame!" she launched a beam of fire at the zombies, hitting about half, which fell to the ground, unconscious. Fireheart fell to her knees, as she tripped on a piece of roof, but accidentally gave the impression she was drained, ending up being picked up by Kim and handed to Ladybug "Send her down."

Ladybug tied Fireheart to the baton and slid her down, Cat Noir caught her and handed her a cookie "Your choker is flashing, I'll shield you."

Fireheart nodded and bent into Cat Noir's shielding grip, she was barely visible, being shorter than Marinette, a solid 5'2, "Blazze, wings in."

She changed back into Zoe and Blazze inhaled the cookie, "Ready."

"Blazze, wings out!" She changed back into Fireheart and Cat Noir let go of her just as Chloe slid down the baton, yelping in fear.

"Slow down, Chloe!" Cat Noir yelled. Chloe slid past both Cat Noir and Fireheart, hitting a sign. The zombies tried to reach her.

Fireheart fought back laugher as hard as she could, but a chuckle escaped, "Same honestly, fail to be saved by a _trio_ of superheroes."

"Hello?! Who's gonna come and save me?" Chloe shouted.

Fireheart almost said, 'not me' when Cat Noir jumped down from the bus, and started waving his arms, "Yoo-hoo! Kissy-kissy-kissy!"

Rose jumped out of the bus and ran to catch Chloe. Chloe fell, and held her shin. "Ow! Great!" she glared at Rose "Now I've twisted my ankle because you weren't fast enough!"

Rose picked Chloe up and Fireheart dully realized Rose and Adrien were ethically better than her; not that she wouldn't save _people_ , she just wasn't sure Chloe counted as human. She continued to watch, unsure of how to help, when a zombie grabbed Rose's leg. She screamed.

Fireheart groaned and used her shields to separate Rose, Chloe and the zombies and Ladybug threw them all into the bus with her yo-yo.

Cat Noir was still baiting the zombies from on top of a van, "Na-na-na-na-nah! Kissy-kissy- kissy!" he jumped down, then up on top of the bus "Hurry up; we gotta go now."

The three heroes looked back at a zombified Max and Kim. The bus's engine was started, and bus proceeded haltingly. Alya and Nino held on to each other for balance in the lurching bus. Ladybug looked to Cat Noir "I thought you said you knew how to drive!"

"I've mastered every car and racetrack in Extreme Racing 3, but there are no buses in that game."

Fireheart face-palmed "That is for a reason!" She shoved Cat Noir out of the seat and began driving the bus "I've watched my bus driver enough times to figure this out." The bus sped up, outrunning the zombies and possibly running over a few; while not perfect, she wasn't doing a terrible job.

"So, what now?" Cat Noir asked.

"Let's take Chloe to the top of the Eiffel Tower. There'll be less zombies up there, and fewer places for all of Zombizou's disciples to run to." Ladybug answered.

Fireheart glanced up from the road "Less places for us to hide, too. And no guns, why do you think I wanted to go to the Winchester?"

Ladybug sighed, finally realizing there wa no changing Fireheart's twisted personality, "But it's the only way if we want Zombizou to turn up in perso—" she was interrupted by Juleka yelling. Rose turned, revealing she has been zombified. Chloe ran to the front of the bus, Rose following. Alix stopped Rose and Ladybug trapped Alix, Rose and Juleka in the back of the bus using her yo-yo.

"Are we just sacrificing people now?!" Cat Noir asked incredulously.

Fireheart turned back to face them, "He said it, not me." Cat Noir grabbed her head and pointed it at the road "Eyes on the road! You'll kill us all!"

Rose hugged Alix to plant a kiss, "I totally trust you, Ladybug!" Alix said as she was kissed.

"Ogh! People need to stop invading my personal space!" Chloe said, causing Fireheart, Alya and Nino to grunt angrily.

About five minutes later, Fireheart parked the bus under the Eiffel Tower. Cat Noir carried Chloe out of the bus. "Stay together and follow me!"

Alya and Nino followed Cat Noir and Fireheart. Ladybug pulled back her yo-yo, pressed the bus's door button and leapt out, trapping Rose, Alix and Juleka inside. Ladybug ran inside the Eiffel Tower, Nino closing the door behind her.

Ladybug pushed a vending machine towards the door, "Nino! The vending machine! Quick! Everybody, inside the elevator!"

Fireheart looked to Cat Noir "Should I point out the high probability there are zombies in the elevator?"

"Wait, what?" But it was too late; they heard a scream as Alya was attacked by zombies that were, sure enough, inside the elevator.

"Alya!" Ladybug screamed. She and Nino removed zombies from Alya, and Fireheart pinned them down with her shields. Alya was covered in kiss marks.

"Oh... no!" Nino said.

"There's nothing we can do for her." Cat Noir said sadly. He entered the elevator, still carrying Chloe, "Come on!"

Alya nodded "He's right." She put her hand on Ladybug's, "Just go, and save us all." She looked to Fireheart "I expect an interview when this is all over."

Ladybug entered the elevator with Fireheart "Nino?" Nino tipped his hat as a goodbye. The elevator doors closed. "Nino!"

Fireheart turned to the others "And then there were four."

The elevator ascended, and Ladybug hit the elevator door with her fist.

Cat Noir shrugged "It doesn't matter that we're the only ones left, Bugaboo, since you'll fix it all in the end anyway."

"Only the best remain." Chloe said.

"One:" Fireheart started, "What's the point of having tried to save everyone if we can just reverse it in the end? Two: I'm not sure you count as one of the best, Chloe; to be fair, I'm not fully sure _I_ do."

Cat Noir laughed "Why are you able to make me laugh even in the most dire situation?"

"I just shamelessly have that effect on people."

Chloe glared, still with her arms around Cat Noir neck to hold on, "Not me."

Fireheart gave a fancy bow, followed by a middle finger, "Don't care."

The elevator doors opened, and Ladybug pointed ahead "Straight ahead. Gustave Eiffel's office!" She opened the door and they were swarmed by zombies. Ladybug and Fireheart could dodge, but Cat Noir had trouble. He tossed Chloe just before he was hit by the zombies. "Ladybug, catch!"

Chloe shrieked, and Ladybug caught her, then threw her into Gustave Eiffel's office, locking the door. â€¨

Ladybug and Fireheart ran to the back to find Cat was holding zombies back. He had kiss marks on his face.

Ladybug caressed Cat Noir's cheek in a way that made Fireheart tremble in excitement at the LadyNoir moment, it was so fucking beautiful, "Cat Noir!"

"I'll just stay here and chill, M'Lady." He said reassuringly—not that it was assuring anyone—"If we're going to end up kissing, then I'd rather do it after you save us, okay?"

Ladybug shook her head "No!"

"Damnit Cat!" Fireheart snapped, "Now is not the time to pull an Ed! Yes, another _Shaun of the Dead_ reference, fight me!"

Cat Noir laughed before becoming serious and turning to Ladybug "You're the only one who can fix this for us. No arguing now!"

Ladybug ran with Fireheart, but Fireheart looked back as Cat Noir fell under the weight of the zombies and was relieved they weren't flesh eating.

"It's down to you, Fireheart, and me." Ladybug looked around, "Chloe?" Fireheart crouched down to Chloe's hiding spot under a small table.

"At least I won't get in your way now. Good luck!" Chloe said.

Ladybug and Fireheart groaned, but turned as Zombizou was laughing through a window, "Hand over Chloe and your Miraculous, Ladybug and Fireheart. Then I might just let you witness the final triumph of love!"

Fireheart shrugged, satisfied to be identified as a superhero, "I'm not one for romance, thanks though." She heard Ladybug summon her Lucky Charm and turned to see a dispenser of make-up remover.

Chloe was just as shocked as Zoe herself was, "Make-up remover? How are you going to save my life with that?"

Cat Noir was heard from outside, "Cataclysm!"

He crashed through the ceiling into the office and Ladybug beamed with hope "Cat Noir!" Fireheart shook her head, knowing what she would see as Cat Noir raised his head, revealing purple—pinkish—eyes, "Kissou." He tried to grab Ladybug and Fireheart blocked him with the sword she just remembered she had as Ladybug grabbed Gustave Eiffel's model's scarf.

Ladybug looked to them "Don't worry, kitty... You'll get your kisses... But first, I have a Lucky Charm I need to use." She applied the make-up remover to the scarf while being chased. Chloe was still under the table, "I'm sorry!"

"What?" Ladybug and Fireheart asked simultaneously.

"Oh, this is all my fault!"

Ladybug wrapped the scarf around her yo-yo, "Awesome. But... now's not exactly a good time."

Fireheart looked at Cat Noir sadly as the dueled, "I'm so sorry, my friend." She used the sharp end of her sword and sliced through his stomach. The suit ripped opened, and a burn-like line appeared where she cut, then the suit closed up and Cat Noir cried out as fire coursed through his veins. Fireheart crawled under the table to Chloe and forcefully stole her jacket, tearing the sleeves off, one she used as a gag to prevent him from kissing her and the other around his wrists, so he couldn't take the gag out. She laid his back on her chest as he whimpered in agony. Yet another surprisingly dark power for a kids show. Ladybug looked to them and Fireheart gave a watery smile "Save us all, Ladybug."

Ladybug nodded and jumped up through the hole Cat Noir made in the ceiling, to confront Zombizou on the roof.

It was about three minutes later Ladybug used Miraculous Ladybug and Cat Noir looked up at Fireheart, as the pain faded, and she undid the makeshift binds. They jumped up to the roof where Miss Bustier was and Ladybug held out her fist. They all did a fist bump, "Pound it!"

Miss Bustier looked up "Ladybug?! Cat Noir? New superhero? What on earth?" She gasped "The akuma overtook me, oh no, I... I... I let my negative emotions get the upper hand, how terrible! ...I'm terrible."

Ladybug shook her head, bending down next to the older woman, "That's not true! It wasn't your fault. Hawk Moth is the one to blame." Cat Noir and Fireheart nodded their agreement."

"But I hurt a lot of people..." Miss Bustier muttered.

Chloe walked up to them "No... I did... I forgot your birthday, once again. And when I saw everyone had prepared a gift for you, I totally lost it. Because I, too, would've liked to offer you something. I'm sorry, Miss Bustier."

Miss Bustier smiled kindly, "Thank you, Chloe. Those words are the best possible gift you could ever give me." she hugged the blonde girl and Chloe hugged her back, forgetting herself for a moment. And it was only a moment "Huh?... Uh, yeah. Okay then, we're all good?"

Ladybug, Fireheart and Cat Noir left at that with Cat Noir punching the air as they leapt off, "Woo-hoo!"

OoOoO

"Me? You want me to apologize to the entire class!? Ridiculous! They should be thanking me for _saving_ everybody." Chloe said the next day.

"I happen to have several accounts of what went down, including my own, and they don't exactly match your version." Alya informed. Marinette put an arm on Alya's shoulder.

"I heard you helped Ladybug save Miss Bustier when Cat Noir and that new hero, Fireheart, were unable! Awesome! There really is a heart beating in there after all. Sorry I said there wasn't." she pushed Alya away "Uh, but—d"

Zoe grinned and rested her head on Adrien's shoulder "Do you think she's still zombified?"

Marinette walked over "I've realized Chloe has a heart, too. She just doesn't know how to use it. Hopefully, she'll learn if we continue setting a positive example."

Chloe quickly put something on Miss Bustier's desk, behind the computer monitor, then acted nonchalant. Alya gasped, Zoe smirked smugly as Marinette smiled.

Miss Bustier walked in and Chloe sat down at her desk "Morning, everyone!"

Everyone was now sitting down "Morning, Miss Bustier!"

"Glad to see you all! As usual, we'll start the day by giving a nice compliment to your neighbor."

Adrien and Zoe looked to each other, "Pop culture marathon this weekend?"

"You are a boy after my heart."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: It is implied Zoe had accidentally begun to corrupt Adrien with the cursing.**

 **Chapter 6: Syren**

Animals were running loose through the streets. How? Who fucking knew? Who fucking cared? Zoe didn't.

Cat Noir was being chased by two black panthers. That was Fireheart's priority. That and Rena Rouge was here, because stabbing the panthers with her fire sword was considered animal cruelty and would not be good, because animal activists can get mean.

"Come on, guys, you wouldn't eat one of your cousins, would ya?"

Rena Rouge jumped along roofs to a vantage point above the street, where she played her flute, "Mirage!" Large cuts of meat appear on the street in front of the panthers. And Fireheart found herself craving steak.

"How about some tasty chops, instead?" He leapt away with his staff, letting this unfold.

One of the panthers stepped on a piece of meat, causing it to disappear. It and the other panther stepped on more of them, following a trail of vanishing meat until it led them into the back of a van. Ladybug shut the van doors, trapping the panthers inside. Civilians cheered Ladybug, Fireheart, Cat Noir and Rena Rouge standing on the edge of a roof.

Cat Noir held up his fist, "Pound i—" he and Fireheart looked back at Ladybug and Rena Rouge running away, "Hey, where're you going?"

"Rena's about to transform back." Ladybug answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So, you're allowed to know her true identity, but I'm not?"

"That's a fair point." Fireheart said, "Even _I_ know who she is. Give some equality to your partner. Equality to the kitty!"

Rena's Miraculous flashed and she pointed at it, "We really gotta jam."

"Uh...when the time is right, Cat Noir, I promise." Ladybug said, departing with Rena Rouge.

"I hate secrets." Cat Noir muttered as he and Fireheart ran home.

"Oh, Rena is Alya. I would keep it secret normally, but I think you should know."

"What the—?"

An hour later

Zoe walked into Adrien's room, drying her wet hair with a grey towel after taking a shower to clean off after dealing after the panthers. Adrien was lying on his couch, playing with Ladybug and Cat Noir action figures.

Imitating Ladybug, "Hey, Cat Noir, do you trust me?" as himself "Sure, Ladybug; do you trust me, too?" as Ladybug "Are you kidding? I will never trust you! Ha ha ha ha!" He sighed normally as Zoe smirked.

"I always knew you were a dork. That was depressing, but also made my day, I didn't know you had action figures. What's next, I'll find a bunch of yaoi somewhere?"

Adrien chuckled, "Father doesn't know. But yeah. Not about the yaoi, but the action figures. Why in god's name would you think I would have that."

"You're a teenage boy. I don't know. All my friends had porn under their beds, what would I expect? But Gabriel not giving a shit explains why he didn't question the halberd I bought."

"Why are you getting a halberd?" He used the Cat Noir toy as a microphone, "We interrupt life to bring you _Angel Beats_."

"Pretty much. Wanna binge watch tonight?"

"Hell yes."

That chatted for a bit, before noticing water filling into the room.

"Holy shit!" Zoe shrieked, "But hey, do you think Gabriel is drowning in his lair?"

"God, I hope not. As hilarious as it sounds." Zoe made a drowning gesture mockingly and he just chortled, "Plagg, claws out!"

"Blazze, wings out!"

OoOoO

Cat Noir and Fireheart leapt between roofs with flight and his staff, until they saw Ladybug come flying out of the water, screaming.

"Ladybug?" Cat Noir leapt up, catching her, and landed with her on a roof, "You didn't tell me you were going swimming today."

"I wasn't planning on it; ladybugs aren't exactly cut out for deep-sea diving, you know."

"Cats aren't exactly crazy about water either, you know. Is there any chance you can get us a submarine?" he winked at Ladybug, and Fireheart facepalmed, "Sure, let's go down to 'rent a submarine,' and don't forget the guns that need to be attached.

Ladybug responded to his hint about the Lucky charm, " _Paw_ ssibly, kitty cat. And Fireheart, try to repress your murderous urges. Lucky Charm!" A potion bowl appeared.

"Huh." Cat Noir just stared at it, "Well, we can always use it to scoop up the water. It'll just take a long time."

"But I'm too lazy!" Fireheart wailed sarcastically, "Can't we just shoot the bitch? Or maybe give her the good old stab and a half with my sword. I hate sushi, but I could eat some right about now."

Ladybug purposefully ignored them and gasped as she realized the significance of the bowl, "I'll be right back! Cat Noir, make sure Fireheart doesn't commit homicide!" she started to run off, but Cat Noir grabbed her wrist.

"Wait! I value my own safety and will let her do what she wants. But where're you going?

"I can't..."

"...say anything. Yeah, I know. But we are a team, aren't we?" He turned away from Ladybug, "I'm tired of all these secrets. Even Fireheart knows more than me, and she's only on her second akuma."

"To be fair," Fireheart defended, "I have binge watched the show and overanalyzed it, so I technically found on my own. But, LB, we knew you're going to Master Fu, what could possibly be so secret you need to keep it from us?"

"I'm sorry." She apologized, "It's not exactly easy for me either, trust me. And there are things I need to keep secret." She leapt away.

Cat Noir sat down on the roof to waited for Ladybug to return, Fireheart sitting beside him, "I don't know what she could possibly be hiding, other than what I've already told you. Does she not know I believe in the #EqualityToAdrien campaign?"

Half an hour later

They were still sitting, waiting for Ladybug. Only they were also watching USA's _Psych_ on Netflix. Syren hadn't shown up, and neither could breathe underwater, so they really didn't have anything better to do. Even if some idiot drowned, the Miraculous Ladybug would fix the problem, or that person was enough of an extra that it didn't matter and nobody in the fandom would find out, let alone give a shit.

"This is so dumb!" Cat Noir snapped when the episode was over, standing up, "Claws in."

Plagg groaned "What's taking her so long?" Adrien held up his hands to Plagg and started to pull off his ring a little bit, causing Fireheart to jump up herself, detransforming as she went. "Whoa, easy! W-What are you doing?!"

"If you don't tell me what Ladybug is hiding from me, I'm done!" Adrien said to Plagg, "I get why Zoe doesn't know, but you have little excuse."

"You can't do that!"

"Adrien, think about this," Zoe said, panicking more than she wanted to let on, "You love being Cat Noir. And do you really want the entire fandom on my world to form an army, march to ZagToon, and kill the writers? You would start a fucking war! That and Hawk Daddy might start massacring to bring you out, even though you wouldn't come."

"It doesn't matter. You're here now." Adrien said bitterly, "And you already have more knowledge than I do. I'm not important. Why don't you just be Cat Noir?"

"Because I'm fine with Blazze, thank you and goodnight." She smirked playfully, trying to bring him out of his dark place, "Though I would look hot in that outfit." She never would have said something like that back at home, but being on a world where you had time to build your self-esteem allowed her to joke about that stuff. But she was genuinely worried about this current situation. Though she made a mental note to draw some fanart later.

Plagg heaved in a breath, "I'm sure there'll be another Cat Noir to give me cheese..." he paused and turned to Adrien, "...but they won't be you." Adrien's expression softened as Zoe began grinning like a maniac. _Fucking_ _finally! He admits it! He loves Adrien! Adrien is his KITTEN, DAMNIT!_

Master Fu suddenly appeared out of fucking nowhere. "Hello, Cat Noir, Fireheart." Adrien turned and gasped in shock, while Zoe stalked over to the old man,

"Good timing you son of a bitch, we just barely talked Adrien here out of quitting! You could have come, of I don't know, maybe a good half hour ago!"

Master Fu held up two vials of bright green potion, "I'll explain everything, I promise. But right now, you both must go and help Ladybug!" He gave one vial to each of them, and Plagg groaned,

"Oh, no! I hate transforming!" He reluctantly downed the potion as Blazze did her own,

"Aqua Plagg!"

"Aqua Blazze!"

"Wait…" Zoe said, noticing Master Fu had vanished, "Where's Aqua? Oh shit! Are we in the Realm of Darkness!"

Adrien just sighed in exasperation, "Now is not the time for _Kingdom Hearts_ references, we only just finished _Birth by Sleep_." They had decided to play in chronological order to try avoiding some of the confusion. "Aqua Plagg, Claws out!"

"Aqua Blazze, Wings out!"

They both transformed, and Zoe found herself unimpressed with Cat Noir's change compared to her own. While his was the same, only slightly slicker with green-finned arms, feet and "tail", as well as his ring being green, Fireheart's had changed from red, orange and blacks, to blue and greys; she too had the fins.

"I'm a water dragon now, bitches!" She shouted to the sky.

OoOoO

The swimming pool was submerged underwater. Kim was seated in the lifeguard's chair, which was surrounded by elaborate ornamentation, inside a large air bubble. Syren was swimming around in the water nearby as they began conversing. Cat Noir and Fireheart arrived right after Ladybug did, after the ladybug-themed heroine managed to anger Syren.

They swam into the room, "The three of us can go together." Cat Noir announced, and Fireheart did everything she could not to make a pop-culture reference. She assumed a position next to he and Ladybug, "I'll even share my popcorn." He said.

"That makes one of us." Fireheart retorted to him, "I'll eat a large one of my own, then eat yours."

He sent her a lightheartedly dirty look.

Syren lunged toward Cat Noir and shoved him back against an upper-floor railing, which led to Fireheart pulling out her sword—which now had wave-like details. Ladybug pulled Syren back with her yo-yo, but then Syren pulls Ladybug around in the water instead, until she was close to Kim's bubble. Her yo-yo got disengaged, and Cat Noir continued the fight with Syren, as Ladybug looks on.

Syren attacked Cat Noir again, and now Fireheart was angry, swimming at her and slicing clean through her arm.

Syren screamed as fire coursed through her veins and Cat Noir crossed his arms, "Sucks, doesn't it?"

To their dismay, the burn line faded not long after the taunt, and she rebounded on her attacks. Of course, water put out the fire. This was not good, but it also explained a bit of why Fireheart's transformation was more dramatic.

They then noticed Ladybug had decided to book it with Kim.

"Kim!" Syren swam toward the exit.

"Hey! We're not done yet!" Cat Noir swam after Syren. "Get back here, slippery bitch!" Fireheart shrieked, "We still have some fish to fry!"

"You're terrible."

"Thank you."

Cat Noir and Fireheart both heard their communicators ringing and answered, "Hello?"

" _Cat Noir! Fireheart! Are you two alright?"_

"Yeah, Bugaboo. Like fish in water."

" _Great! Now, be ready to strike!"_ They saw her swim along until she swam through a car with its doors open on both sides, Syren following until she entered the same car, "Cat Noir! Now!"

Cat Noir struck the car's hood with his staff, triggering the car's airbag, which pinned Syren inside. Ladybug and Cat Noir closed the car doors on either side, and Ladybug used the key signal to lock them. She then tied the loop-end of her yo-yo around the car's trailer hitch, and she and Cat Noir swam to the surface.

The trio leapt out of the water and landed on a roof. Ladybug wrapped her yo-yo around Cat Noir's staff, which he then extended, and pulled on like a fishing rod.

"Looks like I got a nibble!" He pulled the car Syren was trapped in out of the water, and let it impact on the roof; then looked in the car window, "How cool! I always wanted a goldfish!" He imitated a goldfish breathing with his mouth and flapping his hands on the sides of his head. Fireheart snapped a picture on her smartphone which she had had with her in a waterproof bag. Time to kill the mood,

"You're a cat. Do you want to eat it?"

"Fuck you."

"Nah, that's Ladybug's job."

Both Cat Noir and Ladybug jerked up to gawk at her in abject horror, their faces putting tomatoes and Ladybug's suit to shame.

Ladybug just squeezed her eyes shut and unlocked the car with a key signal. Its door popped open, spilling out water. Ladybug reached inside, taking Syren's bracelet, and cracked it in her hands, releasing the akuma.

"No more evil-doing for you, little akuma. Time to de-evilize!" She captured the akuma and purified it, "Gotcha! Bye bye, little butterfly." She threw the car key in the air, "Miraculous Ladybug!"

The Miraculous wave removed all the floodwater from Paris, leaving it dry. Syren transformed back into Ondine, in her swimsuit.

"Thank you for keeping your promise, M'Lady." Cat Noir said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand to prove Fireheart's comment made him feel weird.

Ladybug just ignored it in a manner that made Fireheart think she'd heard it from Alya before, "We are a team, aren't we?" She left after that.

OoOoO

Adrien was practicing Chinese with his tablet while Zoe doodled in the corner. They had procrastinated being productive for as long as they could, but Natalie had gotten on their asses, so they had no choice.

"Translator app: "What time is it?" Xiànzài jǐ diǎn le?"

"Xiànzài jǐ diǎn le?" Adrien repeated, as Master Fu enters along with Nathalie. _Oh dear god,_ Zoe thought, _Did Hawk Daddy find out about him? Why the dicks is he here?!_

"Shí jiān dào le. It's the right time."

 _The fuck?_ Judging by Adrien's expression, he was thinking the same thing.

"Adrien, here's Mr. Chan. He'll be your substitute teacher for today." She left, leaving the two teens with this random old guy who could totally kidnap them for all Natalie knew. If Gorilla was like the guards from most if not all pop-culture, it would be easy as hell too. But at least they could trust Master Fu.

"Hello, Adrien, Zoe. I think you and I should have a little talk."

They all sat on the couch and discussed the Miraculous shit, making Zoe's brain get reminded on explaining the Kingdom Hearts plot to Eden.

Master Fu took out a round box from his bag and handed it to Adrien, who opened it, revealing seven wedges of cheese in the colors of the power potions, as well as another box with rainbow bread rolls.

"Oh, no! I hate transforming!" Plagg moaned again. Blazze just looked excited.

"Guys," Zoe suggested, "What if Hawk Moth is monologuing about finding the guardian right as we speak?"

Only Adrien got that joke, but both he and Master Fu laughed, "Come on Zo, that's ridiculous."

…

Meanwhile, Gabriel was indeed monologuing about finding the guardian.

 **A/N: Yeah, shorter chapter. Next will either be random life shit, or Frightengale. And remember guys, tomorrow (or later today, depending on when you find this) is the big day! The release of Part 1 of the Heroes Day!**

 **Bets on who Mayura is. I have my money on either Natalie or Audrey, while my sister has her money on Emilie, while my Dad bets it will be either Kagami or some other rando we haven't met. Winner gets to write the next chapter, so if the next chapter is suddenly less vulgar, or doesn't seem like my writing style, I'm not the one writing it.**

 **Let's just call my sister Paula the Llama, stick to the theme.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So…we did not get a Mayura reveal—sadly—meaning it's still Carly.**

 **On a side note, that episode was fucking amazing, and will be tons of fun to write with Fireheart. And there is such thing as a yard in that damn mansion, and Emilie was apparently worshipped at a statue of her. But I wasn't a fan of the red theme, felt slightly tacky. Judging by Natalie, I'm hoping to be made a rich woman and be the one writing the next chapter, but I have awful luck. My sister now sees Lila as a potential Mayura candidate. If nobody wins, then my cousin, Marv, will get all the betting money, which is simply unacceptable. And yes, my entire family watches Miraculous—except my stick-in-the-mud mom.**

 **Warning: my sister has practically written a fanfiction of this fanfiction, so things may go out of control is she wins the bet. And there will be more cursing than usual if Marv wins the bet, not that he will be the one writing the chapter—that part of the bet only applies to myself, Paula the Llama, and my Dad, who shall now me called Papa Llama; because Daddy is a kink and I'm sticking to the theme. But it's Mom Llama instead of Mama Llama, because that's a kids book.**

 **Chapter 7: Frightengale**

Zoe knew shit was gonna to be going down the second Natalie came to her room, summoning both her and Adrien to Gabriel's atelier. But this had not been what she expected. Talk about unimpressed.

"It will be an excellent promotion for the upcoming opening of our stores in Korea and China. You don't have a choice." Nathalie presented Adrien with a folded-up imitation Cat Noir costume, with face mask and collar-bell, and gave Zoe one of Fireheart.

"Oh, come on! Can't I do Ladybug, so we don't need to deal with the crap of auditions? And not only that, Adrien and I do stuff together all the time, it wouldn't be hard." While it wouldn't get Adrien out of his situation, it would get both her and Marinette out of theirs. But deep down, she knew the answer…

"I had thought of that." Gabriel said, "But your body type is closer to that of Fireheart and as such is easier to design. That and you swear more than any other human being I've ever encountered."

Adrien nodded in agreement at the swearing comment, but gasped in alarm when he remembered the rest, "But Father—"

"I've been designing Clara's costumes since she started out. She was very pleased with my humble suggestion of using you two. She's only seen you, Adrien, in our advertisements, but she does admire you a lot. And Zoe, if you're going to live here, you're going to do some modeling in the bigger shows. I'm hoping you won't let us down."

"Of course not, Father." Adrien said dejectedly, while Zoe sent Gabriel the finger, earning a glare from the older man and a gesture to go away.

OoOoO

In a dressing trailer, Adrien has put on the suit, bell, tail, and ears components of the Cat Noir costume he was given and was examining himself in a mirror while holding the face mask. Zoe was changing into her Fireheart outfit in the corner—apparently Clara hadn't expected both, so they just had to change together, each with their own half of the trailer.

"Great choice of fabric!" Plagg commented "And these seams! Amazing craftsmanship!"

"There's no way I can wear this!" Adrien said.

"Yeah," Plagg agreed, "I've always found that little bell so ridiculous! Then again, the costume is what you really wanted deep down, isn't it?"

"No, Plagg. I mean that everyone's gonna realize that I'm the real Cat Noir!"

"No way!" Plagg answered nonchalantly, "People are blind!"

"He's right." Zoe said, walking over, "Not to mention we're too early in the season for the big reveal. We're only on episode fifteen, out of twenty-five. Besides, there's a good chance Chloe will audition for the part of Ladybug, not get it, and then make her father stop this whole thing." She put a hand on her hip, "Also, I don't have the crimson tips, and you have neither the messy hair or the cat-like eyes. If Ladybug gets the role of Ladybug, then she might be in deep shit, but still. It's not like the old Clark Kent trick won't work here. It's so obvious who you two are, and yet nobody sees it."

A stagehand knocked on the door, "You guys ready?"

"Aah, uh, coming! Just a sec!" Adrien called, then to Zoe, Plagg and Blazze, "I still can't risk it. You shouldn't either, Zo." He and Zoe placed the masks within a pile of folded fabric on a shelf.

"Right." Adrien said, calmer now, "Now I'm gonna try to act as lame as I possibly can. Hopefully they'll have no choice but to replace me." He opened the door and gasped when he saw the array of people gathered in the main area.

"What were you saying, Adrien?" Zoe asked sarcastically.

In the central area of the main room, a stage with a backdrop has been set up, and two long lines of auditionees to either side have formed in front of it, those for Ladybug on the right, those as extras on the left. Clara Nightingale was standing on the stage with her star-adorned microphone, greeting the auditionees.

"And now, meet our rising star, Adrien as Cat Noir!"

Zoe walked up with Adrien, "For once, I'm glad to be chopped liver. I hate going on stage for anything other than theater."

The extras were reacting excitedly as the duo of reluctant models walked up to the front of the stage, where Nathalie was holding a tablet with Gabriel seen on it, and the stagehand stood nearby.

"The costumes fit you like gloves," Gabriel said, "as I knew it would. But, where are your masks?"

"Uh, I couldn't find it anywhere…um…Zoe's wasn't there either." Adrien said nervously, proving once again that he was an awful liar. Zoe made a mental note to teach him to lie around his supervillain father. If not for freedom, then personal safety.

"I'll take care of it!" The stagehand dashed off.

Clara helped them onstage, "It's no biggie; it's okay. We don't need the mask for tryouts anyway." to the Ladybug auditionees she said, "Come on!"

The first few Ladybug auditionees stepped forward, including Officer Roger. They were all different, albeit often inept, auditionees onstage with Adrien and Zoe, the latter of which was quite aware of Clara's skittish reactions.

More auditionees included Roger and his cringeworthy dancing, and a little girl who offered Adrien a black cat, which meowed—that one was Zoe's personal favorite as she had a thing for cats. Eventually Clara saw there were no more Ladybug auditionees, but then glanced at the extras. She picked up a tray of Chouquettes from a table by the stage and carried it over to the extras.

"You must be starving, from all this waiting!"

While carrying the tray, Clara deliberately tripped herself up, tossing the tray in the air, and fell to the floor. Many of the extras gasp, and Marinette got out of the line, and ran over to help Clara back to her feet; but Clara hugged Marinette instead.

They talked for a bit, before Clara sighed, walking back to the stage. Zoe then realized Marinette was finally being smart about this.

Then Chloe came in, dressed in her Ladybug costume, and sporting a Ladybug-style wig. Thank you all for coming. You can go home now." to Clara, while walking up onstage, she said, "Your 'Ladybug' has arrived! So, when does the shoot begin?"

"Chloe, everyone has to audition. You know that!" Adrien said, more than a little frustrated.

Chloe did some arm stretches, "Oh yeah, that little formality." She walked to one side, then launched into a series of expert dance moves, after which the extras in line cheered wildly, "Aah...ha ha. It's been a while. Eight years of private classes with Aurélie Dupont from the Paris Op-er-a. I know. I'm breathtaking." The air sparkled around her, causing Zoe to almost guffawed, if she hadn't gotten an elbow to the gut from Adrien to stop her train of though before she could act upon it.

"You've definitely got enough talent for me," Clara said, "but you and Cat Noir have to be a good match, you see."

"No problem!" Chloe ran over and hugged a resisting Adrien, "Adrikins and I have known each other since we were little! Woohoo! We're both going to be in a music video, Adrikins! ...Or should I say, Adri-cat!" She laughed "Get it? 'Adri-cat'?"

Before Adrien could say anything, Zoe got fed up, protective-sister mode kicking in. She stepped out from behind him—no really, he was at least half a foot taller than her, so she could hide behind him with no problem. She had originally planned to go with Adrien's plan to not act like themselves in their hero persona, but this bitch needed a punch to the tit.

"Bitch, do you want to start something with me? Because we can fight right here." The gauntlet had been dropped. But Marinette was the one to forcefully call truce with her idiocy,

"Hey wait!... I've changed my mind! I do wanna be Ladybug!"

"Awesome!" Clara cheered, "This will be the best video yet!" She hugged Marinette, "Thank you, thank you, Marinette!" to a fuming Chloe, "I'm really sorry, what's-your-name, but you can still be an extra in the video, if you're game!"

 _Ha, you just got demoted, bitch._ Zoe thought with a smile, noting she was a bit of a sadist. But she knew there was a possibility of her being clinically insane, so this wasn't too bad.

"What?!" Chloe screeched, "You want me to be a mere...extra?!" She stormed away, followed by her father, "Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!"

Clara beamed, "Spot on! And spotlight!"

The next half-hour consisted of dancing—thank the lord both Zoe and Adrien had been forced to take dance classes as children—and Clara proving to be a huge LadyNoir and possibly Adrienette shipper.

"One final task. Put on the mask."

Fuck.

"Uh, I didn't see it." Adrien said, lying pitifully, "I looked everywhere in the dressing room for it, but it was..."

Marinette spoke simultaneously, also nervous, while Zoe just sat crisscross on the floor, 300% done. "Uh, well, I... found the costume, but the mask was, um..."

"...nowhere to be found!"

Clara laughed while Zoe facepalmed, prompting Marinette and Adrien to laugh.

"It's okay! I found them!" The stagehand shouted, causing Zoe to laugh, "That time though! That was so beautifully done, it was like a YouTuber edited that!" She knew she was in deep shit, but she still knew deep in her soul that Chloe was going to accidentally save their asses and cause an akuma at the same time, thus putting them in a different kind of shit.

Marinette and Adrien gasped in dread. Moments later, Clara handed Marinette and Adrien their masks.

Clara: Go ahead, put them on, you two. We've got a lot of singing and dancing to do!" She looked down to Zoe, "Oh yeah, you too!" She handed Zoe the mask.

Marinette and Adrien faced each other, anxiously staring down at the masks in their hands, the eyes of the whole room upon them. To the sound of their heartbeats, the anxious Marinette and Adrien slowly raised their masks to their faces, closing their eyes when they have the masks near. Zoe raised three fingers, counting down, and just as she hit zero...

Mayor Bourgeois walked in, carrying a stack of papers about a foot tall, as Chloe smirked behind him.

"I'm sorry. My administrative staff just realized you never submitted permit A38 as stipulated in the circular B65 that one can only get at counter C, third floor of City Hall, which is, alas, closed for renovations until August, which means you don't have a permit to shoot...anywhere in France, including Paris." He gave the heavy stack of papers to Clara.

"English please!" Zoe shouted. Since her mother wanted her to be an engineer or an architect, she wanted to know what this meant, "It sounds like numbers and letters!"

She found in immensely frustrating there were times people just pretended she didn't exist. Clara nearly fell from the stack of papers and Zoe dully wondered how the hell he had printed all those things in such a short amount of time.

"I... I don't understand!"

Chloe stalked up in a manner that could only be described in Zoe's mind as 'would anyone mind if I stabbed her in the tit?' "It means no more dancing, no more singing today," She grabbed Clara's microphone, and threw it off the stage, "The nightingale can spread her wings and fly away! Oh! Did you hear that? I made a rhyme! How talented am I?"

Clara tossed the papers aside, and tearfully ran down from the stage to her fallen microphone, whose star has cracked from the impact, and picked it up to see the damage. Zoe, being a semi-decent human being, a CERT member, and not in the mood for a musical, hopped down and handed Clara some Krazy Glue—or Kragle to anyone who had seen the _Lego Movie_ , or had a sister who never shut up about it.

"No!" Clara cried, taking the Krazy Glue with no acknowledgment whatsoever, proving there was nothing Zoe could do to avoid the musical akuma. "The video needs to be shot here, in Paris, the capital of love, the city of Ladybug and Cat Noir. This ruins all of my plans! I'm so sorry, my beloved fans!" She ran away in tears, and into a dressing trailer.

Chloe clapped several times for attention as she addressed the extras.

"The show is over! You all have to leave now." She laughed in evil triumph, and Zoe gave her a look to sleep with one eye open, lest she find her curling iron frying her hair and dead rats in her shoes. The next time Chloe did something to Adrien, she made a mental not to tag-team revenge with Plagg to make all the fangirls happy.

The extras started to leave, when a glowing whip suddenly struck Chloé and her father, giving them pink auras.

"Karma's a real bitch, isn't it?" Zoe couldn't help but ask.

Frightningale—thank your fandom wiki that updates before episodes get released—shouted from the catwalk, "Sing, dance or rhyme, or you'll be frozen in no time!"

 _God. Fucking. DAMNIT!_

Adrien and Marinette returned, back in their regular clothes, witnessing everything from the trailer area—Zoe had decided to make Chloe suffer to please her sadistic desire, and she did know she had a problem.

"What is she talking about?" Chloe asked, "Dancing and making rhymes? And why not play the trumpet too, while you're at it—" She suddenly turned into a shiny pink statue, causing everyone in the room to gasp, while Zoe laughed like a maniac, only to be stopped by Adrien's hand clamped over her mouth.

"Chloe, hon'!" Frightningale cackled in a rather unflattering manner, "Please! Please! I'll keep up this rhyme, don't make me freeze, not this time!"

"Oh, bravo! And you've got the right tempo!" Frightningale spun her whip, and started whipping some of the extras below, who turn into shiny pink statues while the rest flee in panic.

Zoe ran in a different direction than Adrien, hiding behind a pillar, "Blazze, ready to demonstrate badass singing skills?"

Blazze just sighed, "Sure. How about you get rid of the akuma too."

"Fine." She grumbled, "You're no fun. Blazze, wings out!"

She ran out alongside Cat Noir and heard Frightengale arguing with Ladybug,

"I won't let you take my akuma away. I like the new me, and I'm here to stay!" Frightningale charged toward Ladybug but got tripped by Cat Noir's staff.

"Do you mind if we join the dance?" He extended his staff to the ground in front of him, and rested his chin on it, on his hands.

Frightningale leapt up back onto the roof of the Grand Palais. "You're like all the others; but you can't silence me! I'm just trying to make the world better, can't you see? Do you really think the two of you Can win this battle through and through?"

"Hey sparkles," Fireheart called, "You are aware your power is a form of torture. For people to think of a rhyme at all time would exhaust people, and everyone you hit will be dead by sunrise tomorrow." Frightengale sent her an enraged look, and tried to whip her, only for Fireheart to take a step to the side.

Ladybug and Cat Noir ran over to the Grand Palais and run and scamper up columns to leap above the roof, attacking Frightningale with their weapons. Frightningale maneuvered to cause Ladybug's yo-yo to merely snag Cat Noir's staff.

"Hey, look out!"

"Whoops! Sorry, M'Lady!"

On the heroes' second attempt, Frightningale's dodge caused Ladybug's yo-yo to entangle Cat Noir himself and landed him on the edge of the roof's dome. Ladybug quickly reeled him back down to her, but in their momentary discombobulation, Frightningale launched her whip, for Fireheart to dramatically jump in the way, launching herself, Cat Noir and Ladybug out of the way.

"Yo! FrightenCunt! If I can sing an entire song with no problem, acapella style, will you calm the fuck down?"

Frightengale looked taken aback, "Could this be? Is the great Fireheart submitting to me? Well fine, I guess, but I'll confess, miss one note and you'll be distress."

Fireheart shrugged, falling onto the stage, grabbing a microphone, "Alright, let's do this." She was just doing this as a distraction. She did singing in musical theater all the time, and she loved Eurovision, this would be a piece of cake.

Frightengale crossed her arms expectantly, while Fireheart noted Ladybug and Cat Noir coming up with a plan on the roof.

She took a breath, _"Can you hear them calling? Oh, they're calling out tonight_

 _Now the skies are burning. Oh, they burn so bright_

 _We shiver as we step into the cold, cold night_

 _Then we're running, we are running now_

 _I hear them calling me, I hear them whispering_

 _They're singing: 'Now we are coming home'_

 _I hear them calling me, I hear them howling_

 _Singing: 'Now we are coming home'"_ She had been told she had a beautiful voice, and since she had gotten the role of the witch in _Into the Woods_ , as well as the Chaperone in the _Drowsy Chaperone_ , but she still didn't know what anyone on this world would think. But that was irrelevant for now.

" _See the shadows dancing_

 _Oh, they dance for us tonight_

 _And as I'm tossing and I'm turning_

 _Oh, they come alive_

 _We shiver as we step into the cold, cold night_

 _Then we're running, we are running now_

 _I hear them calling me, I hear them whispering_

 _They're singing: 'Now we are coming home'_

 _I hear them calling me, I hear them howling_

 _Singing: 'Now we are coming home'"_ She saw Frightengale tapping her foot to the beat, and Cat Noir summoned his Cataclysm.

" _Can you hear them? I hear them calling me, oh…_

 _Can you hear them? I hear them calling me, oh…_

 _I hear them calling me, I hear them whispering_

 _I hear them calling me, we're coming home_

 _I hear them calling me, I hear them whispering_

 _I hear them calling me, now we're coming home"_ holding that note was easier said than done when the pressure was real, but she managed.

" _I hear them calling me, I hear them whispering_

 _I hear them calling me, I hear them whispering_

 _They're singing: 'Now we are coming home'_

 _Singing: 'Now we are coming home'"_

"Cataclysm!"

Cat Noir fell from the roof, snatching the wand, as it crumbled to black dust in his hand, freeing the akuma.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" Ladybug shouted from above, and the Miraculous wave restores all the petrified people to normal. "No more evil-doing for you, little akuma. Time to de-evilize!" She captured the akuma and purified it, "Gotcha! Bye bye, little butterfly."

Frightningale turned back into Clara Nightingale.

The trio did a fist bump, "Pound it!"

Clara looked up, "Ladybug? Cat Noir! What are you doing here?"

"You were akumatized by Hawk Moth, and Fireheart here proved to be a singing goddess; and everything's back to normal again."

"I was saved by the three of you? How amazing! Too good to be true!" She cheered, way too excited after crying her eyes out. Was she bipolar?

"And, I have an idea how you can finish your video without anyone getting in your way!" Ladybug walked up to Clara and whispered in her ear.

OoOoO

In the College Françoise Dupont library. The finished "Miraculous" video was being displayed on the large screen, incorporating the main series theme song—which made Zoe almost laugh—while the students watch.

The video showed various people, to include all of Miss Bustier's students except Chloe, dancing in sync while wearing either Ladybug¹ or Cat Noir² masks, starting with Juleka¹ and Rose² with the Eiffel Tower in the background, followed by Alya¹ in front of the Arc de Triomphe, which pulled out to reveal Alix¹, Nino², Alya, Kim² and Max¹, and then Ms. Mendeleiev¹, Miss Bustier², Mr. Haprèle¹, Mr. Damocles², Mr. D'Argencourt², Officer Roger¹, and another woman¹ in the school courtyard.

" _Miraculous! Simply the best!_

 _Up to the test when things go wrong!_

 _Miraculous! The luckiest!_

 _The power of love..."_

During the verse the video's dancing shots continue with one of Marc¹, Nathaniel², Mylène¹, Ivan², and Sabrina¹ in front of the Hôtel de Ville, followed by Ondine¹ at the swimming pool, and then Adrien¹, Marinette², and Luka¹ by the Canal Saint-Martin.

"It's so much better like this!" Rose said excitedly.

"At least now everybody gets to be in it!" Mylene agreed.

"Besides," Alya added, "even though Marinette and Adrien kinda look like Ladybug and Cat Noir, they really weren't believable. But then again, Zoe could pull of being Fireheart any day, with your foul language."

Zoe put her legs on the coffee table, throwing her hands in the air, not caring that she didn't bother to change her personality, because everyone here was too stupid anyway, "I still think I would look hotter in a Cat Noir suit!"

Apparently, Marinette had also said something, who caused Rose to run over to hug her, followed by Mylène and Alix, as Kim, Alya and Juleka also leaned in for the hug.

"Yeah, I prefer this version, too." Adrien said, "I couldn't have pulled off playing Cat Noir. And I think Zo's going to steal the outfit anyway."

"I know." Marinette said dismissively, "Worlds apart!"

Adrien gasped, wondering what Marinette meant, "What?"

Marinette ran over to Adrien, "What I meant was that you'd be more lame as Cat Noir than in real life. No! N-Not that you're lame in real life, right? It's just, compared to Cat Noir, you're just, I mean...you don't look a thing like him, that's what I mean. And yeah, Zoe's going to steal the outfit," she looked to the brunette in question, "send me pics, and let me know if your bust is a problem, so I can try fixing that. I want to see you in that outfit."

Zoe gave her a thumbs up, and Adrien chuckled, "And you don't look a thing like Ladybug either."

"Huh?"

"Uh, yeah, I mean, I'm sure she's not as funny as you are!" Adrien clarified, flustered, and Zoe smirked to herself. At last, an Adrienette moment.

Marinette and Adrien laughed.

"Yeah." Marinette agreed, causing Zoe to groan,

"You both are fucking idiots."

 **A/N: And there we go. Imaginary points to who can guess the song Fireheart sang, but I will have it revealed in the next chapter. And you have no idea how hard it was to ass rhymes for Fireheart, hence why I didn't have this out yesterday, but I just gave up.**

 **And I might get out Creepy Coffin Room, or Troublemaker, before Mayura comes out. Review to choose which one!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I am trying to get as many chapters as possible out before Mayura, so my sister has less shit to mess with—not that she won't find a way—because the more theories spewed, the more worried I get. But the episode has been delayed to November, so I won't need to rush.**

 **On a side note, Catalyst was…well…the** _ **Catalyst**_ **of my mother getting into Miraculous. All it took was an Infinity War reference with the Cataclysm. Who knew?**

 **Also, I'm going to be doing Reverser after Queen Wasp, because it's one of the only episodes to give any idea of the timeline.**

 **Chapter 8: Creepy Coffin Room**

Maybe they should have been more productive. Maybe they should have done shit. But the homework was done, and Zoe may or may not have fallen down the stairs and taken Adrien down with her, leading to sprained ankles from both teens, so fencing was out.

What they didn't tell anyone accept each other, was that they both felt fine after an hour, and they both were just extra as fuck when anyone came to check on them. Both had ace bandage and were binge-watching _Back to the Future_. Then they decided to play _Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance_ , the one with the confusing ass time-travel.

Maybe all the time-travel talk was to blame for this conversation, maybe they should have made different choices. But it was too late to change it.

"Zo…" Adrien asked hesitantly, "I wanted to ask…what would happen if my father got the Miraculous?"

Zoe looked up, "Hm? Oh, he would probably wish for our mother to come back. But it's implied in Dark Owl that he wants to change an event, likely preventing your mother from being lost in the first place. Though that would cause the…ahem… _butterfly_ effect." She put a finger under her chin, "But if he wants to do that, why hasn't he just akumatized Natalie to go back and time and save her in the first place? Is he really just that dumb?"

She should have known this would lead to another question, "Um…you've mentioned something about a fandom wiki telling you about Frightengale…"

"You want me to lay out all the shit, so we can prepare?" He nodded sheepishly, causing her to crack her knuckles, whipping out a whiteboard from her big ass closet, "Cool. Let's do this."

Half an hour later

At this point, Zoe had written down all the akumas in order that she remembered. She didn't remember the cause, or who the civilian forms were, apart from Catalyst and the entirety of the Queens' fight. Did she know the powers? No; except for Style Queen.

"So…we have Troublemaker next? Then either Reverser or I get turned into a statue unless you interfere like you usually do."

"Think so. But release dates have always been iffy, so it could be something else. And yeah, I will be bitch as fuck that episode. My tactic when people try to hurt my loved ones it to either beat the shit out of them, or annoy them to death. Think the French Taunting from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_. And now I'm in France, so it makes slightly more sense. But I'd prefer to be to Britain, so I can do the movie right."

Adrien crossed his arms, trying to hide a snicker as he imagined that, "And Mayura is the finale…God, I hope she isn't my mother."

"I hope not too." Zoe then grinned as she came up with an idea, "Remember when I mentioned the creepy coffin room Hawk Daddy has in his lair, maybe there's a clue down there?"

Adrien nodded, "Good plan, but how the hell are we going to get down there without someone catching us?"

Zoe shrugged, "Wait until everyone goes to sleep, dress up as modern-day ninjas and work from there?"

That night

They waited until goddamn midnight for Gabriel to _finally_ go to bed. Zoe was now dressed in a feminine version of the Cat Noir suit—without the bell, because the suit had come with a ringing bell and she had ripped it off—and a black beanie. Adrien was wearing a black sweater, black jeans, and also a black beanie.

"Holy shit, Adrien! You have something different in your closet!"

Adrien looked down at himself, "Yeah. Ready?"

"Fuck yes. But first—" she went into her bathroom and got out her brand-new machete, "I should bring my shower machete."

"Shower machete?!" Adrien asked incredulously, "How and why do you get all of these weapons!?"

"Just in case I need to shank Hawk Daddy." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "And nobody cares what I buy, for some reason."

"Perhaps you shouldn't murder my fa—Gabriel…because he's your guardian." Adrien sighed. Zoe had been assisting him in subconsciously breaking him out of the cycle of abuse, by preventing him from getting looped back in. The sooner he realized there was a good chance his father would sacrifice him faster than Thanos did Gamora, the happier he would be in the long term.

Zoe shrugged, "We should work on finding out who your backup guardian is, and by extent mine. Then we can call the cops on him or try to steal Nooroo and Duusu back." She pulled out some paper and tape, "Let's go."

They crept downstairs, entering the atelier. Zoe stuck the printed copy of the empty room on the security camera, and they moved to the painting. She hummed quietly as she tried to remember the buttons from _the Collector_.

"Ding dong, the witch is dead, my father shot her in the head." She sang quietly to herself while she worked.

"What the hell?"

She looked back to him, "I remember my sister was singing this song while we watched that episode, because we had just watched the _Wizard of Oz_. I'm trying to trigger my selective photographic memory." She sang the tune quietly, until she got the buttons right, standing on her tip-toes to reach. She quickly grabbed Adrien and pulled him into the tiny elevator.

The elevator ride was tight, and Zoe found herself becoming very aware of the abs of her companion in the tight space. And suddenly it became slightly hard to breathe.

"Damn, Adrien, have you been working out? I can feel your abs through that sweater."

Adrien chucked, "Cat Noir, remember?"

The elevator opened, and they found themselves in a large room with an arched ceiling, barely lit by lights along the side walls and what appeared to be a beam of moonlight from a skylight. A catwalk extended the length of the room down the middle. The far end of the room appeared to have a tree growing from the floor below, and the main wall at that end featured a butterfly window. There was also a weird pod thing at the very end.

They looked between each other, before walking across the catwalk. What they saw there made them both freeze.

Emilie Agreste was sleeping in a coffin.

Zoe looked upon the beautiful woman in front of her. Emilie had fair skin, green eyes, and blonde hair her left shoulder. She also had thin lips, a small nose, thin eyebrows, and almond-shaped eyes. She was wearing a light pink jacket with a black stripe on the edges over a black blouse. On the coat, a brooch shaped like a flower with five petals and a pearl in the center can them can be seen. she also wears light pink business pants and black high heel shoes.

Adrien gasped, "Mom!" He dashed over to the coffin, placing his gloved hands on the glass. He looked to Zoe, "What's happening? What's fa—Gabriel done to her?"

Zoe walked over as well, "I don't think he did anything. I think he's preserving her. For some reason, I can't tell if she's breathing or not."

Adrien looked around, "We need to let her out! Get her to a hospital, or something!"

"No!"

He looked at her angrily, "Why the fuck not?"

Zoe pointed, "Remember, we don't know what happened. If she's dead, then the body will start to rot, and well, ew. If she's insane of something and Gabriel's keeping her in a stasis to prevent her from killing everyone, then she might wake up and we'll have to explain to Ladybug why Mayura suddenly exists. If she's in a coma, then she could be on life support. How about we look around to find some clues."

Adrien nodded reluctantly, "Fine. At least I know where she is, and she didn't just pack up and leave." There were still tears in his eyes.

Zoe decided to try distracting him, "And how did Gabriel get all this shit down here without you noticing. I for one am imagining him dramatically sneaking in with her over his shoulder, _Mission Impossible_ music playing in the background, dressed in the same shit we're wearing."

Adrien cracked a smile, and began looking around, "What that stuff?"

Zoe looked down and saw a ton of green…goop? What the hell was that? Was it a snake? She frowned, "Whatever that is, I don't want it on or near my body." She looked back to the vegetation by the coffin, "It looks like a shrine of some sort, maybe the goop is some sort of fertilizer? We'll need to do some research."

They walked around some more for a bit, before Zoe whipped out her phone. 2:03.

"Adrien, I know it's a Saturday now, but we should get some sleep. We've been down here for nearly two hours. We'll come back after some more research, I promise. We don't want to get caught."

Adrien took one last longing look at his damn gorgeous mother, before letting Zoe guide him back to the elevator, and back to her room.

They got back to Zoe's room, and she got out of her outfit and into a long, short-sleeved, tight, white nightgown; it was shockingly comfortable. She looked back and realized Adrien was still there and had seen her undress. But he didn't seem to care, he was staring at his phone, changed into a red t-shirt and black sweatpants—the outfit Zoe kept in her room for him as backup.

She walked over to him, sitting down beside him. Then he broke down, crying. Damnit, he was hot even when crying; it was so fucking unfair.

"W-What happened to her…? Why her…?"

Zoe stroked his hair, "Plot convenience, I guess. But come on, she'll probably be back."

"But what if she's evil!"

She didn't know how to respond to that, so she just guided him over to her bed, tucking him into it. This wasn't the first time they had shared a bed—usually when one was too tired to walk down the hall—and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

She unbound her hair, which had grown past her breasts from the shoulder-length it used to be, and crawled unceremoniously into bed with him. She kissed his forehead,

"Goodnight, brother."

 **A/N: So…yeah. That happened. Next is Troublemaker, then The Queens' Fight (I'm doing Style Queen and Queen Wasp in one long chapter), then Reverser…and by then Mayura should be out and all bets are off.**

 **Warning: I make a lot of bets with my sister, most of which involving my account; hence why I have her avatar alongside my own. But I will mention something in advance when I make a bet. I'm debating just letting her write her own stories on the account, because Mom only allowed me to have an account and that's why she's always wanting mine.**

 **Also, I went into the chart of views and…holy mother of god, 1384 views. I screamed like a banshee, in pure joy. I assumed nobody would read this, let alone like it. This means so much guys! I'm so happy. Just imagine me giving all of you a big hug.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Troublemaker**

In the week since their…little discovery…Adrien had been in some sort of stupor, both aware and unaware of his surroundings, deep in thought. When Natalie had asked about it, worrying Adrien was ill, Zoe simply informed her they had watched _The Matrix_ , and he was having an existential crisis like most did after watching that movie.

They had gone back down and taken pictures, changing lighting in Photoshop to try finding any more clues. But unfortunately, Zoe feared they wouldn't get an answer until akuma 78, because that was the episode that made even the team cry while writing it; but that was the finale for Season 3. They were only on akuma 42—41, but since _Fill my Shoes_ was on that night, featuring Alec, the guy who tended to assist in an akuma whenever he was around, they knew Troublemaker would be on her way. They also suspected from a production photo Zoe had kept on her phone she had brought with her from home, of Gabriel talking to Ladybug in the creepy coffin room, that it would be her to find out and, once again, no equality to Adrien, who had the biggest right to know.

Emilie didn't look sick, and they still couldn't tell if she as breathing—but if she was, it was quite slow—but she didn't even look dead. She looked to be just sleeping, but not like a normal coma patient…almost like Sleeping Beauty. This had led to a joke about true loves' kiss, and a smack over the head.

Right now, they were in Adrien's room. Adrien and Zoe were watching the broadcast, where Tom and Jagged were singing together to the tune of "Smoke on the Water".

"Flour, eggs and butter! And fire in the oven..."

Plagg gulped down a piece of Camembert, "Oh, come on! Are you going to finally put cheese on that bread or what? Since when do you have any interest in this show?"

"The show's being shot at Marinette's." Adrien answered. Zoe nodded, munching on a dozen bread rolls, "And we're checking for Troublemaker. I'm betting it's poor, overworked and pressured Penny Rolling."

They watched for a bit, before Blazze crossed her arms as the camera crew entered Marinette's room and got into all her shit. "Isn't that an invasion of privacy?" Zoe nodded, glaring, while Adrien laughed, "What would you do if it was you in Marinette's shoes?"

"Fucking kill them with my halberd, that's what. Then I'll behead a guy and stick his head on a spike outside my door to keep trespassers away."

"You call Noda 'halberd guy' should I call you 'halberd chick'?"

"Sure, why not."

Then Adrien saw the dozens of pictures of himself plastered to Marinette's wall. He looks mildly shocked, much less shocked then he should be.

"Looky there. Another secret admirer." Plagg said.

The live footage gets cut off and was replaced with a car commercial. Adrien and Zoe looked to each other, before she got up, grabbing a bar of chocolate.

"I'm off to give Marinette a hug. She already knows I'm the parkour queen, so she won't question me." She said simply, "See you in ten." She transformed and ran to the bakery and through the skylight. Marinette looked at her, shocked, as she detransformed.

"Hey Mari." She greeted, handing her the bar of chocolate, "Penny's gonna get akumatized in five, so I came to give you a hug. And also, Cat Noir has no chill, we should take some of the pictures down."

"What do you mean, he has no chill?"

"He only just got himself out of an existential crisis from watching _the Matrix_." It was technically true, he had had an existential crisis, but that had been two weeks prior. "Not to mention, he's been coming over for pop-culture marathons with myself and Adrien. And Adrien already saw the show, but do you really want your partner to know about the ones under your bed?" Marinette looked away nervously,

"He doesn't love me back, does he?"

"Um…I would be revealing some shit I probably shouldn't to answer that question. But if it makes you feel better, Adrien and I have weapons and are not afraid to use them against these privacy invading assholes."

They took down the pictures, transforming in the process as they did so, waiting for the sounds of destruction. They made the room look like Disney on Ice in one minute.

Then they heard doom and destruction downstairs and calmly walked down. Troublemaker appeared a second later, and Fireheart cringed just a bit at the outfit.

"Well, let's do this. Let's make it 42 out of 78." She charged, only to run into a wall as Troublemaker became intangible with a click of her pen. She reverted back and threw a large trunk at Ladybug from behind, knocking her over. She then phased down through the floor to the living room below, where she jumped back up through the ceiling, appearing in Marinette's bedroom again right behind Ladybug. Solidifying, she reached for Ladybug's earrings, which Fireheart saw,

"Look out!"

She then kicked Troublemaker in the head, sending her crashing into the desk with enough force said desk crumpled, knocking the villain unconscious.

Ladybug just stared, "That…was anticlimactic. I expected more."

"So did I." Fireheart said with a shrug, "But I can check that off my bucket list: take down a villain using basic beginners karate." Ladybug snapped the pen, purifying it and returning everything to normal.

Then Cat Noir showed up through the skylight, "What'd I miss?"

"The entire fight."

Cat Noir groaned, "God damnit. Sorry Bugaboo."

Penny glanced around, confused, "Wha...? What happened? Where's Jagged?"

Ladybug walked over to Penny, while Fireheart sat in the corner, catching Cat Noir up on the situation. But eventually, they decided to just book it.

When they got home, they sat back on the couch.

"Hey, Zo…" Adrien said quietly, "Thank you for being so supportive while I sort through my thoughts the last couple days. I just…you know."

"No prob. You put up with me all the time, and my homicidal impulses that I sometimes debate fulfilling." She smiled shyly, remembering the only lesson she had specialized at in school—ironically enough—human phycology. "You're traumatized, your whole life that had already crumbled multiple times has been turned upside down. It just takes time, talk, and tears. I am I shoulder to cry on, and an ear to listen. I'm here for you."

Adrien grinned genuinely for the first time in a week, "Thanks. Wanna plot a way to get the truth out of Marinette?"

"Fuck yes." She pulled out a bowl of brownies she may had stolen from Marinette's room, "Plotting brownie?"

OoOoO

In the locker room, Zoe and Adrien saw Marinette creeping weirdly to her locker. As she opened it, they walked behind it, for the element of surprise, to please the fandom.

"Phew!" Marinette sighed in relief, "Hopefully, he didn't see me!" She shut her locker triumphantly, only to be startled by Adrien standing behind the door, waving at her. Zoe smirked, "Surprise motherfucker."

Marinette screamed as Adrien spoke, "How's it going? After what happened at your place last night, I was worried that—"

Marinette interrupted him, "Oh, so you watched the show, then!" She laughed nervously, "Well, uh, look...about what you saw on the show last night — the totographs, in my room—"

"You mean the photographs?" Adrien asked, as Zoe subtly sat on the closest bench, filming the entire thing.

"The grotographs, exactly!" _Is that a word,_ Zoe wondered, "It-it's not what you think. See...I'm really into fashion, and, umm..."

Adrien leaned forward with a piercing, impish smirk, making their height difference quite clear, "Are you lying?"

 _Oh my god, it's happening! What's the procedure?! Everyone stay calm, everyone stay fucking calm!_

"No! I'm so not into you—I mean, sure, I'm interested in you, but, um, not in that way; well, you know, ha-ha-ha-ha...ha ha!" Marinette's laugh caused Adrien to just chuckle,

"Just teasing." He placed his arm over her shoulder, "I understand; don't worry. I've got used to having lots of fans...and, photographs of me everywhere—even in the most unlikely places."

Marinette laughed, "As if someone would have a picture of you under her bed, right?"

Adrien took his arm away, seeming to realize exactly what she was saying, "Yeah. I was wondering; since you're into fashion so much, you could come watch my next photo shoot!" Zoe blinked, she had not been expecting that.

"No way!" Marinette gasped, "For you?—phew—mew— For real?"

"Honestly, it's pretty long and boring, but if you were there, it would definitely be more fun! And maybe Zoe won't flip off the camera every time. Whaddaya say?" Yeah, Gabriel had not gotten a single picture from the photoshoots, without finding a middle finger hiding somewhere. What could she say? She hated having her picture taken, it ruined the moment; like a cellphone going off in a theater.

Marinette threw her arms up, "Oh wow! Yes!" She contained herself, "Thank you, Adrien."

"I'll keep you posted, then." Adrien said, followed by Zoe as they started to leave. "See you later in class." He stopped after Zoe had exited the room standing just outside the doorway. He turned to Marinette, causing her to gasp, "I'm glad to have you as one of my fans." He walked to the door and opened it, then looked back and waved, smiling, before leaving.

Zoe walked to class with him, "You know she's head over heels, right?"

"Yeah. But…I'd rather play the oblivious card than reject her and put a damper on our relationship."

She supposed that was fair. Not only that, then Ladybug would reject Cat Noir, and then they'd end up with a MariChat smut fic. Not that she minded MariChat—she actually thought it the best ship in the love square—but she didn't like the idea of her surrogate brother being de-virgined at fifteen.

She smirked, "Admit it, Marinette's more than just a friend."

Adrien looked down at her, "Sure, she's a very good friend."

Zoe wanted to scream and/or tear out her hair.

 **A/N: So…shorter chapter, I guess. But the next chapter is the Queens' Fight, so it will be much longer. And we have 8 days until Mayura, so I should be able to get Reverser out, possibly Anansi or Sandboy. And no, I am going in order of inspiration. But I will likely do Sandboy before Anansi. I guess that's the bright side of this show not having a set chronological order.**

 **Also, I have come to an agreement with my sister. In exchange for not adding smut (sex, I have no idea about kissing) or any other OCs if she wins the bet, she gets to write her own story on my account. I will tell you this, my sister does have a good story going, and I'm designing the cover art for it; but while I do the humor and overall crack, with the occasional crossover, my sister does darker stuff; even though she's younger than me. Not smut—I just had to be sure with our agreement—but stuff like trauma, depression and the whole enchilada that does with depression. But go check it out, be supportive of my sister. Should be out somewhere between tonight and Saturday night, I honestly don't know.**

 **Don't forget to review! Love you guys!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here we go. Queens' fight.**

 **Warning: This chapter is probably going to be the darkest one, diving a bit more into Zoe's mental stability and bloodlust, as well as real injuries. I might make another dark one, but it's a step out of my comfort zone, if I add another dark one, there is a good chance Paula will write it.**

 **Chapter 10: The Queens' Fight, some real first aid, and Zoe's true insanity.**

This was the moment Adrien Agreste and Zoe Carpenter—though the media was calling her Zoe Agreste for some reason, not that she minded—became Sam and Dean Winchester, from _Supernatural_.

Thanking Thomas Astruc for releasing the clip of Adrien turned into a statue, the duo packed up as many weapons and defensive materials as they could into Zoe's emergency backpack, with a large ass first aid kit. Because nobody on this world was worried about a terrorist attack—at least, not one akuma unrelated—they didn't check for pointy or blunt objects when coming in. They had packed some nunchucks, a dagger, a small axe, and a gun with rubber bullets. They didn't know the full extent of Style Queen's powers, but they did know nobody would question them for having weapons of self-defense on their person, if it was concealed.

Adrien had gone with the dagger on his person and the axe in the bag, Zoe kept the gun on her person and the nunchucks in the bag. It was easy to hide; the dagger sheathed at Adrien's hip, hidden by the jacket of his suit, and the gun in a flash holster, meaning a holster attached to Zoe's bra—thankfully, she had enough bust to effectively hide the very small 22 caliber pistol.

She couldn't help but be pissed that Gabriel was once again choosing his wife over his son and ward, abandoning them to die in this fucking fashion show. They were willing to go all out as proper Winchesters, but they would rather not, so as to not have the cops on their asses—though since Officer Roger just had a taser on him, it was debatable if he knew what a gun was, and Zoe had made sure to paint part of it orange so they could say it was non-lethal, which it was technically. Was that illegal? Yes, and slightly immoral, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Gabriel had also gotten too lazy to get them their own dressing rooms. Maybe because they were so brother-sister, but if you've seen a good chunk of romance movies, that's how it starts. While both knew they would never end up in a relationship like that, it didn't make it any less odd on Gabriel's part.

Zoe put on her black dress, as Adrien was looking at himself in the mirror and fixing something about his jacket—it seemed Gabriel was going through a black phase, maybe emo, maybe mourning, yet the anniversary of Emilie's condition was assumingly not close, because Adrien seemed indifferent about this day, but a mess if the topic of his mother in the coffin came up.

"I feel awkward." Adrien announced to nobody in particular.

"That's probably because you look ridiculous." Plagg said quickly, being swatted away by Zoe, "You look great Adrien, and if you really hate it, at least it won't be what you go in the ground in. Hopefully."

Adrien sighed, giving her the finger for that last comment, as someone knocked on the door. He opened it and his face visibly lit up when he saw it was Marinette, which made Zoe grin like an idiot.

"Hello, Marinette."

"Hey Mari," Zoe said with a grin.

"Oh, uh— Hallah…" She walked up the stairs; tripped; fell on Adrien; Adrien kept her upright; the hat fell on the ground and the feather fell off, "Ooh… sorry."

"No worries." Adrien said, they both simultaneously went to grab the hat, their foreheads bumping into each other. Zoe laughed at their misfortune, which was also a cute Adrienette moment. She took a picture, texting it to Tom, Sabine and Alya—the leaders of the Adrienette club.

Adrien picked up the hat; Marinette the feather

"Oh, no!" Adrien gasped, "I hope it's not too hard to fix it."

"Oh, you know, it doesn't really matter." Marinette said, "This hat is a complete failure anyway."

"What, no it's not." He insisted, offering his hand, which Marinette took without hesitation "Why would you say that?"

 _Holy demon fucks. Is this the moment? Has Adrien realized his true feelings for Marinette? She is_ not _just a friend! And now for Marinette to fall in love with Cat Noir—NO! I will not have my sunshine brother be de-virgined until his honeymoon at the very_ least _at age 21. There can be MariChat, but I will stop the smut!_

"Because… the queen of fashion, Audrey Bourgeois, saw it and hated it. I'm sorry, Adrien. I really messed up. I'm a total no-talent. Please don't put it on."

Zoe glared, "Bourgeois? She insulted you." She pulled out a pocket knife, because Natalie was there, so she couldn't reveal the gun, not that it was lethal, "Time to die, Bitcheois." She didn't know why, but she was feeling more murderous then usual, maybe because she was getting more and more apprehensive by the minute. Natalie's eyes bulged, and Adrien took the knife, "No Zoe, no murder right now. Maybe later."

Wow. She had not expected the 'maybe later', geez, that said a lot. Then again, he could be referring to Style Queen.

Adrien walked back, putting the knife just out of Zoe's reach on a shelf, knowing full well she had a gun in her bra. He took the feather out of Marinette's hand, "Marinette, everything's gonna be fine, if Zoe doesn't kill someone, not that I think she will, maybe scare the crap out of her victim, but _really_ deep down, she's a good person." Zoe was slightly insulted at that, but decided he wasn't wrong for most, Gabriel was a different story and she would be more than happy to stab him in the balls. "

"Your hat looks great;" he continued, "I think it's awesome; so does my father. Otherwise he wouldn't have picked it for me. Look." He put on the hat and did a catwalk-walk down the dressing room; "See?"

Marinette chuckled, "You got that catwalk down!"

Adrien scratched the back of his head, "Really? Thank you."

Nathalie, tired of their flirting, fake coughed, "We have to go. Zoe, no killing, do I need to get you a therapist?"

"Won't help. I don't trust them. All the ones I went to broke confidentiality just to get a buck from my mom, and it was stupid shit like hatred of the dishes, which I used to test it."

Natalie just sighed, starting to leave, ushering them to follow. Marinette left first, assumingly to find her family, while Zoe took a nervous breath, fight or flight starting to kick in. And she chose to fight like holy hell.

"Ready?" Adrien asked, double meaning in his words. Zoe just took his hand, as a gesture to keep Natalie from noticing her point to the dagger she knew was concealed at his hip, "Ready as I'll ever be." She grabbed the backpack and placed it backstage as the fashion show began.

Adrien shot one last look at Zoe, "Zo, if something goes wrong…I just want to thank you for making me happy at home for the first time since…" He trailed off, "I love you, Satan." It was the use of the nickname Sam had used for her that made her tear up as he left through the curtain.

As Adrien walked over the catwalk, he made it quite clear he had one hell of a poker face. Zoe's stomach was in knots, knowing Style Queen would interrupt before she herself was to walk on stage. At the end of the catwalk, he stopped and struck some poses. Suddenly, Style Queen materialized. Everyone was startled, except the two who needed to worry most.

"A fashion show without the queen of style? Glitteraly unacceptable! Where is that ungrateful Gabriel Agreste? I demand that he kneels before me!"

Adrien glared, slowly reaching for his dagger, "My father isn't here! So get lost!"

Style Queen shrugged, "Well then. If fashion-disaster daddy isn't here, I'll just have to settle for Agreste Jr.! You're fired!" She shot a gold dust at Adrien, but he and Zoe had rehearsed this, he managed to swerve under it, ready to run past her to transform, but Style Queen teleported in front of him "Where do you think you're going? I said you're fired!" Adrien dodged another one, this time with an Aqua-esque cartwheel, which made Zoe low-key go into silent fangirl overload. She was about to enter the fight, when Style Queen gave up on turning Adrien into a statue at a distance, teleporting in front of him, grabbing his wrist, while he was leaning over the edge of the catwalk.

"Let go of me!" Adrien snarled, using his free hand to force it off, only for her hand to turn to glitter, meaning intangible, causing Adrien to fall backwards off the catwalk, "Ah!" hitting his head on the bench, then the cement.

He didn't move.

"Adrien!" Zoe shrieked, grabbing her backpack and rolling both him and herself out of the way of the next blast in one swift motion. She looked down at him, having ended up on top of him, noticing blood in his hair and her palms where she had shielded his head when rolling.

The people screamed and began running off, Marinette to transform. Zoe shook him, "Adrien, god damnit, you dick! Wake the fuck up!"

"Mom," she heard Chloe's voice, causing Style Queen to turn away from them, allowing Zoe to get Adrien in a pack-strap carry—formal name for piggy-back ride.

Style Queen turned, "Claudine—uh, Chloe. I'm not mom, I am Style Queen. Do you want to be fired, too?"

Zoe blinked, not expecting Audrey to possibly take Gabriel's sarcastic award of 'parent of the year', and Gabriel was currently trying to fucking kill them.

"No, no, I really don't, Style Queen." Chloe said, "Uh, besides, don't you need an assistant?"

"Hmm—I did fire my last one this morning. Fine! I'll take you on trial."

Ladybug finally swung to a rafter, "Style Queen!"

Style Queen shook her head as Zoe slowly booked it, trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible, abandoning her heels and was now barefoot, Adrien limp on her back. She was hoping to get him to a hospital, because while she knew triage and basic patient care, she was no doctor.

"What an atrocious suit." Style Queen said, "That bug looks so last year."

"But the yo-yo makes a strong comeback this year." She threw said yo-yo, but it went right through Style Queen. Zoe then realized the weapons wouldn't have done jackshit. It would be like the fucking special monsters in Season 14 of _Supernatural_ …but did that mean she could behead Style Queen…? She decided to test that in the event things went to shit.

"You're a couple of sizes too small to beat me, Ladybug." She launched another beam. Ladybug tried to block it, but the force was too much; she fell backwards. Style Queen laughed in an evil manner, which would have made Zoe scoff in a situation where her surrogate brother wasn't bleeding and potentially leaking brain matter on her back. Style Queen held her scepter out towards Ladybug's face.

"Mom! Uh—Style Queen." Chloe tried, "If you want to find Gabriel Agreste, I know where he lives. You can take care of Ladybug later, she's worthless anyway."

"Hmm— It's not a completely idiotic idea." Style Queen teleported in front of Zoe, "But you, girl, trying to run away from me, _you're_ fired!"

"Wait!"

Style Queen stared at her, pausing before she could release the blast, "What?"

Zoe smirked, deciding to pull that scene from _Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom_ , when Zia convinced the men not to kill her, relying on her medical knowledge needed to save Blue, who had been shot, "Adrien has a serious head injury. If I don't treat him, he'll be dead in an hour, maybe two. And do you really think Gabriel will come to retrieve the corpse of his son and a statue of the ward he doesn't give a shit about?"

Style Queen glared, "Fair enough. But if he dies, and Gabriel doesn't come, you'll regret it." She then flew away in a gold dust, taking Chloe, Zoe, and a still very unconscious Adrien, with her; they ended up on the Agreste mansion's foyer. "Courtney! Uh— Chloe, where is Gabriel Agreste?"

"He usually never leaves his house!" Style Queen turned to Zoe, who shrugged, "Don't look at me? I'm just a CERT," _with a gun in my bra, and an axe in my bag, I will try decapitating you, motherfucker._

The butterfly symbol appeared over Style Queen's eyes. "Pff— she can barely protect herself! Don't worry, Hawk Moth, you'll get your costume jewels." They flew away again, going to the Eiffel Tower.

Style Queen put a golden rose at her feet and smashed her scepter into the ground, a forcefield surrounded the little thing, then she copied the motions, locking Zoe and Adrien in a forcefield on top of the rose. Zoe decided that was where the akuma must be, and would try breaking it, but she could also use it to support Adrien's head if needed.

Surprisingly, she could still hear voices through the forcefield, "You're not going to hurt my Adrikins, are you, Mom? Uh—Style Queen? And as much as I disapprove of Zoe, she's the only one who can help him, unless she's bluffing. But I don't think so."

Style Queen glared, "Hmm— You wanna join them, Kailey? Uh—Chloe? She pointed her scepter at Chloe, "Just ask and I'll fire you!"

"No thanks, I'm good. You're right, we don't care about them." Zoe stood up and made her desire the throttle the blonde bitch quite clear.

Style Queen put the scepter down, "Make yourself useful, assistant, tell me if you see Ladybug, Cat Noir and Fireheart!" Zoe sighed, knowing Cat Noir and Fireheart would not be showing.

"Yes, Style Queen!" Style Queen dissolved and Chloe fells to her knees, "Oh, what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do?" She ran over to the forcefield as Style Queen's voice could be heard somewhere above,

"Gabriel Agreste, if you refuse to show your face, your son will perish before sundown, and your ward will be nothing but glitter in the wind!"

 _Well fuck you too._

"Oh, it doesn't break. Adrikins, wake up!" Zoe frowned, so Chloe really did care about Adrien. She sighed, putting rubber gloves on and continuing with her head-to-toe evaluation. Two-centimeter laceration on the left side of head, just above ear…broken left wrist…she pulled out a bottle of water and turned Adrien over, slowly pouring the water on his hair, washing out the dirt and blood. Hm…it wasn't as bad looking now. She checked his back, nothing out of ordinary. She wrapped his head with triangle bandages made of bedsheets, checking his pulse and airway. His breathing was slow, but definitely there, pulse was faster. Then she performed the blanch test, which took longer than two seconds, but not by longer than another second. So, what she needed to worry about was the bleeding and potential shock, two of the three killers. She rolled him over again, checking the head injury once more. Fortunately, there was no brain matter like she had feared, but the bleeding had come back, albeit slower. It was an open wound, but she could tell it was worse inside than out, because the bleeding was just from here and there. She hoped his cranium wasn't broken or something like that, but there was no denying the high probability of internal bleeding.

She needed him to wake up. Doing triage and head-to-toe was so much easier when the victim was conscious to tell you where they were in pain. She wrapped his head again, this time with slightly more pressure, and put more under him as a pillow. She had taken off his suit jacket and used that as a blanket for his upper body, which required more warmth in the event he had gone into shock. She pulled out a chain of colorful bands, and tagged him red, meaning he needed immediate help.

Then she realized Chloe had stopped pounding on the forcefield, and said the words that gave Zoe some hope: "Psst! Ladybug! Hurry up!"

Ladybug was standing on one of the beams above them, saying some words that were hard to make out, but judging my Chloe's response, it was asking where the akuma was.

"It's in the rose she put in there with Zoe and Adrien. You better come up with something fast, my mother is going to see you!"

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Style Queen materialized on top of the forcefield, "It's really impossible to find qualified staff these days." Chloe turned around slowly, "You're fired!" Chloe was turned into a golden statue, "Ladybug, hand over those awful earrings and let's get this over with." Ladybug threw her yo-yo, it passes through Style Queen again. "You still don't get it, huh, fashion victim? I am invincible!" She shot rays of gold dust; Ladybug hid behind some metal, "My power is only equaled by my sense of fashion. I am invincible! You. Can't. Beat me. How could you defeat me? You can't even touch me." She cackled.

The Zoe realized Ladybug had used her Lucky Charm, and was holding a mallet, then she flew off, likely to see Master Fu.

Then something clicked.

" _My power is only equaled by my sense of fashion. I am invincible!"_ Did that mean someone wearing something considered fashionable could beat her? Like, say, a fashion model? It was worth a shot, literally. Blazze and Plagg hadn't come with them, so she assumed they were getting help, meaning they wouldn't be of any help right now. She whipped out the gun and shot at the forcefield—a silencer causing a small 'click' instead of a 'bang'—multiple times, creating a grip for her hand. You know those times parents become extremely powerful when their kids are in danger? That was what was happening to Zoe in that moment. She lifted the surprisingly light forcefield, pushing it put of the way, grabbing the axe from her bag.

Style Queen turned to her, more than a little shocked, "And what do you think you're doing?" Zoe shot her in the gut, causing a hole, clean through, that didn't fill back in. _So, I was right,_ she shot her again, this time in the throat, causing Style Queen backwards. Zoe stalked up to her, "This is for my brother you piece of shit." She swung the small axe and sliced Style Queen's head clean off.

Then she processed what she had just done. She could have just killed Audrey Bourgeois. It wasn't the fact she potentially killed someone that made her feel awful, it was that she didn't feel bad about it at all. Was she a monster? She had expected to feel something, anything, but she felt nothing, not even any satisfaction.

Then she smiled a little, the adrenaline finally wearing off, Ladybug would fix everything, and if she didn't feel bad now, imagine what Gabriel would feel if it came to that.

Then Ladybug showed up. She gaped at the scene before her, dropping the Miraculous Box in her hand, down the tower—unbeknownst to either for the moment—Plagg and Blazze were behind her, the latter rushing to her chosen while Plagg rushed to his kitten.

"ZOE! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"Wings out." Zoe transformed, to avoid walking down the stairs, in hopes of making it to the hospital before Adrien went into a coma if he hadn't already. She turned to Ladybug, putting her supplies back in her backpack, "No time, fix everything. Dragon flame!" She used her power to melt away the forcefield over the rose, purifying the akuma in the process. She then noted she had never used that part of her power before.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" Ladybug shouted, turning everything back to normal, except Adrien, who was injured via the force of gravity, not Style Queen.

Chloe ran over to Adrien, "Adrikins!" She then saw Ladybug picking him up, and gasped as she realized he hadn't been healed.

"I'll take Adrien to the hospital, Fireheart, go find Zoe."

"Worry not." Fireheart said, "That chick is already safe. Oh lord, she fought me when I got her away, kicking and screaming and threatening to kill me…" She was just voicing what she would have done had someone tried to take her away from the wounded Adrien and it wasn't to take him to the hospital.

"What am I doing here? You're all fired." Audrey said, not decapitated, "And why does my neck hurt so bad?" Well…that was for being a bitch. Fireheart shrugged to herself, maybe she really was psychotic. But she didn't plan to be a serial killer, but she knew now if someone hurt the people she cared about, she would fucking kill them with no mercy.

Ladybug left with Adrien, then Fireheart remembered the fashion show. She flew back, detransforming in the dressing room, walking out to the empty catwalk, seeing the hat Mariette made, unstained, but next to a few specks of Adrien's blood. She felt like she wanted to vomit, but Adrien had insisted before that the show must go on. So, it would. She put the hat on and walked to her dressing room again.

Blazze hugged her as Zoe readjusted the choker she had wrapped to her bicep, so she wouldn't need to worry about transforming, "I'm so glad you're safe! We were worried about you and Adrien."

"I'm fine, Blazze." Zoe said quietly, so her kwami wouldn't hear how pathetic she as to be holding back tears, putting down the backpack and pulling out her phone, "What do you think of the hat?"

"You look nice. But you're trying to distract yourself, how are you really feeling?"

Blazze was right on the money. "I'm scared for Adrien." Zoe admitted, "I texted Marinette, demanding she tell me the verdict when it comes, but she hasn't responded yet. Head injuries are dangerous, Blazze, and I could tell there was internal bleeding. What if he's paralyzed, or comatose, or has amnesia, or is DEAD! It's my fault. I should have just not told him, let him become a statue and let Ladybug save the day like she was supposed to." The tears were flowing freely now, and Zoe couldn't bring herself to stop them, because she had two hours until the show started up again and had been in theater long enough to know how to fix her makeup.

Blazze sat in her hand, "Need I remind you it was Adrien who asked to know. He knew something like this could happen, but it was still his idea. He wouldn't blame you, and as you've said, the show is _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir_ , why would he die now?"

"It's called Miraculous Ladybug in some places."

"That doesn't matter. Adrien will be fine, I promise."

But that made Zoe feel worse, "That was what I told my sister when Mother took out cat, Archie, to the vet on Valentines' Day. He died, and I suspected it would happen, but I still made a promise I couldn't keep. Why should this be any different with you now?"

Blazze sighed, "The Dragon represent the untamed natural world, a violent, intuitive creature. It represents the bestial element which must be defeated with strength and discipline. The satanic element. However, in the Occidental world, the dragon is associated with happiness, produces the potion of immortality, and represents the primal essence 'yang'. It stands for procreation, fertility, activity, and wards off evil spirits. It is the 5th sign of the Chinese Zodiac, a symbol of the East and the rising sun. However, the white dragon represents the West and death."

"Why are you telling me this?" Zoe asked, "What does it have to do with Adrien?"

"I'm telling you this, because that is who you are, Zoe, a wild creature of life. But you're also letting past events affect how you see the future. Adrien may be the wielder of the Cat Miraculous, but he is not Archie, he is a strong human. He will pull through just fine."

Zoe smiled softly, nuzzling the kwami to her cheek, "Thanks Blazze." She gave her a bread roll, "Mangia." Blazze obeyed the Irish girl speaking Italian, eating.

She fixed her makeup, when the news came on, Nadja Chamack talking,

"Coming to you live from the Grand Palais Museum. I'm Nadja Chamack. Gabriel Agreste's fashion show was recently delayed after the Queen of Fashion, Audrey Bourgeois, was akumatized. But everything is back on schedule again, after Ladybug heroically stepped in to save the day, as usual. While Adrien Agreste is in the hospital for a head injury, Zoe Agreste will take the spotlight! The fashion show can finally begin!"

Shit. Was it only an hour?

She checked her phone as it dinged, a text from Marinette coming through,

M(Marinette): Adrien has a really bad concussion, a broken wrist, and small cracks in his skull, but with a week or so in the hospital, he should pull through just fine. But he won't be seeing anyone until tomorrow, or when he regains consciousness, whichever comes last. But they doctor said you did good with triage, could have been a lot worse. I also removed the dagger from him, I'll give it back after school.

Zoe felt her heart sigh in relief, like a huge burden was lifted. Then Natalie came in,

"Ready?"

"Yeah. Just got a call from the doctor, apparently Adrien has me as an emergency contact, he's got a concession, skull fractures, and a broken wrist, is unconscious still and won't be seeing anyone until at least tomorrow, but he's not going to die."

Natalie smiled slightly, "I got that call as well. At least he's alive."

Nodding in mutual agreement, Zoe stood up, "Time to steal the show." They walked down the hall, "Oh, and why was Audrey so pissed?"

"I didn't give her a front row seat, gave it to Marinette. All the front rows had already been reserved for months, wasn't going to boot someone else out."

Any remorse Zoe had gotten over the course of the hour for murdering Style Queen vanished in that moment, wanting to drive a knife into the bitch's heart and twisting, relishing the idea of hearing her screams. She didn't care if she was psychotic, she didn't care of the consequences, the only thing to stop her from going on a rampage was Adrien. The way he would look at her, how far she had gone in his name; he wouldn't thank her, he would curse her, never wanting anything to do with her, and the lives taken he would blame himself for. That was what stopped her from running at Gabriel and putting his head on a spike, lighting him up and watching him burn.

Natalie looked back at her, "I also made you a doctor's appointment for trauma. From what you've gone through in your life, I doubt you're completely mentally sound. But the results will be for you and I, nobody else." Zoe smiled slightly to her, "Thanks Natalie."

Maybe she did need help, and she was curious. Not that knowledge would change anything, and she wouldn't take a pill if given one, she acknowledged who she was and didn't care what anyone but Adrien thought.

Zoe walked onto the catwalk, light dancing around the room as she walked the catwalk and posed. She dully noted Alya was live streaming. But all Zoe could see was where Adrien fell, as he cried out before hitting the floor. He would be fine, but Zoe didn't know if she would be able to look at either Audrey or this building without seeing him fall, and hearing him scream, or the sickening thud as he hit the ground and stopped moving.

Suddenly, the crowd was completely silent. Fearing Queen Wasp or Malediktator, Zoe turned, in a defensive position. Then she gasped to find Gabriel Agreste standing on the catwalk. The room was completely silent, except for Alya's voice, "Ladybloggers, a huge update! That's Gabriel Agreste; he hasn't been in public in ages." Gabriel walked on the catwalk towards Zoe and stopped. She stands there, frozen in shock. She yelped as Gabriel pulled her into a hug, not expecting that in a million years. Zoe wanted to punch him in the dick, but she knew she needed to remain civil in public, so she wrapped her arms around him. The paparazzi started taking photos of the two in an embrace.

"I'm glad you're safe." Gabriel whispered, "You're parents would kill me if something happened to you, or kill me in the afterlife in this case."

Zoe looked up, "And your son in the hospital…?"

"You think I didn't try seeing him? I got kicked out."

 _Fair. Still your fault, and I will kick you in the dick until you're sterile, asshole._

They got off the catwalk, and Gabriel immediately began talking to the Bourgeois family.

"My dear Audrey, I heard about the unforgivable misfortune you had to endure." Audrey extended her hand out to Gabriel, which he, shockingly, kissed, then she took it back.

"I'm still quite overwhelmed."

Forget no remorse for beheading her, Zoe wanted to again. _She_ was overwhelmed? Adrien was in the fucking hospital with FUCKING CRACKS IN HIS SKULL! She wished the most pain upon this woman as humanly possible, hoping she'd go back to New York to be killed in World War III—wait, wrong world. She simply clenched her fist.

"I want you to know that I've fired the person who was responsible for the misunderstanding." Gabriel said, and Zoe found herself smirking, seeing right through that lie, knowing it was very unlikely he'd fire Natalie, let alone for something like that, "Only one row in the house is befitting to Audrey Bourgeois and that's the first."

Audrey smirked, "Let's not overdo it. Huh Gabriel?"

Zoe snarled, earning a look from Gabriel that told her he wanted to a tiny bit as well, but he valued his reputation—not enough to give up Hawk Moth, but still. But really, why the dicks was he here?

"Did you enjoy the show?"

"So, so." Audrey takes the hat off Zoe's head, or tried to, as Zoe swatted her away, "Fucker, don't touch me." Gabriel's eye bulged, taking the hat himself, handing it to Audrey, "Sorry, she has a fear of being touched by people she doesn't trust."

Audrey just glared in Zoe's direction, before looking at the hat. Marinette and her parents were watching, "This hat is not a _Gabriel Agreste_. Are you responsible for that?" She looked at Marinette in an intimidating manner, making Zoe stand in front of the blunette girl subtly.

"Uhm…" Marinette looked nervously at her parents. Tom gave her a thumbs up. She walked in front of her shorter protector, "I…I'm the one who created it." She smiled nervously.

"Marinette won a fashion design competition." Gabriel said.

Audrey lifted her glasses to get a better look at the hat. Zoe frowned, something about Audrey's eyes was just…weird. "It's the most…" Chloe looked smug), likely expecting something cruel, but what came out of Audrey's mouth shocked everyone, "exceptional thing I've ever seen! You're a visionary, Marinette! Glitter's had its day. Feathers are the trend of tomorrow!" Marinette gasped, and Zoe smiled a bit, "I haven't felt this much emotion since…" Audrey looked to Gabriel, "you."

"She does have talent." Gabriel said, looking at Marinette, smiling. Zoe still wondered why he was here, but she was happy for Marinette.

Audrey looked at Marinette, too, "You wanna be a fashion designer, right?"

"Uh-uh… Yes ma'am."

Audrey put the hat back on Zoe's head, just barely missing being bit, "Then come to New York with me! I'll make you the biggest name in fashion! I'm sure you'll even upstage Gabriel."

"And Adrien and I will be able to model for you!" Zoe added, _after we get Gabriel fucking arrested,_ she knew Marinette wouldn't really leave, but at least be supportive.

"We'll be here for you honey, no matter what you decide!" Sabine said.

"My helicopter will be leaving for the airport at 8 p.m. tonight." Audrey put her glasses back on.

Chloe had her head down, seething, "This... It's ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!" To her mother, "I've never been to New York with you and you're taking Marinette Dupain-Cheng!?"

"I'm taking her because she's exceptional Claudette. Uh—Chloe."

Chloe started to tear up, and Zoe found herself feeling genuinely bad for her, she knew how it felt to have mommy issues. Maybe she'd work with Chloe like she did Adrien, "I'm exceptional, too!"

"The only exceptional thing about you, my dear… is your mother." Zoe had to acknowledge it was a solid burn, but also downright mean. She was staring to wish Audrey had stayed decapitated. Maybe she needed to make another 'parent of the year' award.

"Ugh! I'll show you how exceptional I can be!" Chloe took out a _Miraculous Jewelry Box_ , she opened it, revealing a yellow, glowing orb.

Zoe and Marinette gasped,

"WHAT!?"

"No!"

Gabriel gasped as he recognized the glowing ball; Audrey lifted her glasses. The bee kwami, Pollen if Zoe remembered correctly, emerged from the ball.

"How may I please you, my Queen?"

"What is that thing?" Audrey asked.

"Chloe… what are you doing?!" Zoe asked warily as Chloe threw her glasses away while putting the hair comb in her hair.

"Pollen, Buzz On!" She transformed into Queen Bee, flipping backward, landing on a _Gabriel Agreste_ board, "I am Chloe Bourgeois, and from now on I'll be your new superhero, Queen Bee! We'll soon see if you think Dupain-Cheng is still more exceptional than moi! Spinning Top!" She used her spinning top—that Zoe opted to call a trompo, because that sounded better—to exit the Grand Palais.

"What is happening to our beloved daughter?!" That mayor asked, while Audrey just walked off, alarmingly calm, "She always was such a show-off. See you tonight, Marinette. I'll meet you at my helicopter."

Nathalie walked up to Gabriel and Zoe, and points to the car, where the Gorilla was waiting.

"We better be going home, Zoe. Thank you all for coming." Zoe knew she needed to do something, so…

"I think my period just started! FUCK! I gotta go!" She ran in the direction of the bathroom. Gabriel and Natalie just blinked to themselves, before deciding to not question her, leaving.

She ran into the bathroom, and transformed, running after Chloe. She had had her cycle the week prior, but didn't tell anyone, knowing she could use it to her advantage. She ran to the Roue de Paris, where she heard Chloe talking on her communicator,

"Nadja Chamack? Chloe Bourgeois here. I mean, Queen Bee. Come ASAP; I'm about to rescue the passengers of a metro that's in peril. You've got to film this!" But before she could swing to the Metro entrance, Fireheart lunged and tackled her all the way to the ground, pointing her sword. No way in hell would she let Chloe endanger the lives of dozens.

"Chloe Bourgeois! Don't you dare!" A crowd began to surround them, "You were just about to use your power to create a situation, just to make yourself look good. Do you realize failure could cost the lives of dozens, if not hundreds?! Cat Noir is out with pneumonia, and Ladybug is working on some family stuff, so that leaves only me. And while they might be gentler, I won't put up with that shit for even a second." The crowd around them muttered to each other, most in agreement. Fireheart knew she would likely cause Chloe to become akumatized, but she couldn't bring herself to care, her day had been rough, so she didn't care if she had to beat on one other akumatized Bourgeois…yeah, she was going to that appointment.

"Chloe, give me back your Miraculous. It doesn't belong to you! I don't eve know how the fuck you got that!"

"Finders keepers, losers weepers." Queen Bee snapped, "Venom!" She slammed her trompo into Fireheart's leg, causing her to become paralyzed, until she came back to reality, to find Ladybug in front of her.

"Fireheart! Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine." She looked around, "Where's that bitch! She used her power on me!" Than she smirked, "Meaning she's probably at home!"

Ladybug nodded, "Yeah…what really happened with Cat Noir. I was told he lost his Miraculous, but you said pneumonia."

Fireheart shrugged, "Pneumonia + violent coughing = ring got dropped and rolled away."

"Oh." Ladybug suddenly looked worried, "Well, I assume you've been caring for him. Let's get this over with so you can get back to him."

They ran to the Le Grand Paris roof. They landed and jumped down to Chloe's balcony, sneaking into her room.

"Chloe?" Ladybug called, looking around, "Looks like she's not here. Let's go!"

They took the elevator to the lobby; upon arrival, they gasped; everyone in the lobby was standing still; all victims had sting marks on their necks.

"Oh shit." Fireheart muttered, looking around, "Queen Wasp, where the shit are you? You can come out now."

They hear buzzing; wasps flew towards them in an arrow formation, "Fireheart, watch out!" Ladybug pushed her on the ground and landed on top of her, making Fireheart smirk slightly, her mood improving for the first time that day,

"Damn LB, didn't know you swung that way."

"Cat Noir's right, you really are terrible." She rolled off and they saw Queen Wasp, who looked different than her concept art, looking less creepy.

"Your reign is over, Ladybug and Fireheart! I don't even care if you don't give me your Miraculous; my wasps will paralyze you and I'll simply take them myself. Then I'll go find Cat Noir. Wasps, Venom!

The wasps took the form of two darts, "Run!" They both fled Le Grand Paris, "Hawk Moth must've akumatized her while she was still Queen Bee."

"Sorry for being a bitch and causing her to get akumatized." Fireheart apologized, "I bet the akuma's in her Miraculous."

"No problem, I would have likely done the same in your shoes. And that theory makes sense, but Miraculous are indestructible."

"Good thing my Dragon Flame just forces the akuma out, purifying it in the process. We just need to find out how to capture it without getting stung. Because I would rather not find out if I'm allergic to bees."

"A ladybug doesn't stand a chance against the queen of wasps!" The wasps lifted two cars and threw one toward Ladybug and Fireheart, the other towards civilians. Ladybug made a net to catch the car before it hit the civilians, while Fireheart grinned maliciously, "Good thing I'm a dragon!" She flew up to meet her, way too done to deal with this shit, or care what the fandom would think of an anticlimactic fight, "Dragon Flame!" Queen Wasp reverted to Queen Bee, then to Chloe as the transformation wore out, Pollen returning to the Miraculous. Fireheart grabbed Chloe, lowering her to the ground.

Ladybug turned to her, blinking slowly, startled by how OP Fireheart truly was when in a foul mood.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" The Miraculous Cure spread out, she then held her fist out to Fireheart, "Pound it!" She walked over to Chloe, who was clutching the Miraculous in her hands, "I have to get the Miraculous back, Chloe." In the background, Nadja's van arrived.

"Give me a second chance, please!" Chloe begged, and while Fireheart was angry Chloe had attacked her, it had been slightly deserved, and she realized then why Chloe had done it: to impress her mother. She just needed to learn like Adrien had to stop trying to impress neglectful parents, because they owed you nothing—there was a good chance you were born because one parent was horny and the other was there.

Nadja held up a tablet with Audrey on it, "Audrey Bourgeois, tell us live how you feel about what just happened."

Audrey scoffed on the tablet, "According to me, Chloe just clearly demonstrated that there is nothing exceptional about her."

Fireheart glared at the reporter, ripping the tablet out of her hand, "You know what Audrey, fuck you. If I could kill you, I would, but that's frowned upon just about everywhere. You are ten times worse than Chloe, so buzz off." She then turned to Nadja as she hung up, "And you, bitch. Showing a girl who just got akumatized her asshole mother, and recording humiliation worldwide is a dick move. So get lost, or I'll make you get most." She gave the cameraman a look that made him turn it off. The reporters were both alarmed by the outburst, but they did leave. She then gave Chloe a small, empathetic smile, knowing the pain herself. She bent down and put a hand on a shocked Chloe's shoulder,

"I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier, I've been in a bad mood all day and took it out on you, but that's not an excuse. I know you did the things you did to impress your mother. And while you went about it the wrong way, I would be a hypocrite to look down upon your motivations."

Ladybug added on, "Anyone can make mistakes, even a superhero, as proven today. What matters, is how you fix them. I personally made one by losing that Miraculous. Don't make the mistake of not giving it back. Act like a hero."

"And show everyone how exceptional you can be." Fireheart helped Chloe up, hugging her, reminded of her own pain from her mother, "You don't owe your mother anything. Don't change yourself for her, be yourself." She prayed to every god there was that Chloe would become a better person, but she doubted that was going to happen for a couple episodes.

Chloe handed Ladybug the Miraculous, and as the dup was about to run off…

"Ladybug? Fireheart? I'm sorry."

"It's forgiven." Fireheart said, finding peace of mind for the first time that day, running off.

OoOoO

The next night, Zoe walked through the hall of the hospital. Adrien had regained consciousness the day prior, but apparently was a bit all over the place and had a terrible migraine.

She had also gone to that appointment, and was diagnosed with Brief Psychotic disorder. A disorder where people with this illness have a sudden period of psychotic behavior, often in response to a very stressful event. Since she was a teenager, a slight homicidal desire was normal, but Adrien's condition had caused it to spike drastically. She now had some pills to take for the month, to become slightly more sane. But she wasn't a danger to anyone who didn't piss her off or hurt her loved ones.

She walked into the hospital room, not turning on the light, and saw Adrien resting on the bed, a green cast on his left wrist and bandage wrap wrapped around his head.

"Hey Adrien." She whispered, causing him to look up with a grin, Plagg floating off Adrien's chest where he had been resting with his kitten.

"Hey Zo…" he slurred slightly, sitting up, before squeezing his eyes shut and laying back down.

Zoe smiled, seeing him smile made her feel a lot better. "I'm glad you're not dead."

"Me too." Adrien winced, "My head hurts."

"No shit. But I got migraines all the time back at home, so I have some techniques."

Adrien chuckled slightly, "Thanks…" He began closing his eyes, before opening them again, but Zoe just squeezed his good hand,

"Get some sleep. I'll sleep on the couch tonight. You'll be in the hospital until next Friday, so I'll visit as often as I can."

"Thanks Zo…" He murmured, before his breathing evened out. Zoe watched him sleep for a minute, to make sure he really had just fallen asleep instead of coma or something. When she finally felt reassured, the events of the last two days, and the exhaustion, came back to her—she hadn't gotten any sleep the night before—and she let sleep claim her as well.

 **A/N: So this chapter was longer and darker, much darker, and mainly revolved around Zoe. But we finally got some interactions between Zoe and Blazze. Also, take a hint why I mentioned the white dragon. ;)**

 **CERT stands for Citizen Emergency Response Team.**

 **Oh, and the reason they're able to get a ton of weapons is because the people she buys them from don't get customers very often, let alone from someone so rich—and Natalie just gave up on caring about what Zoe bought. Nobody is worried about a terror attack, so nobody cares.**

 **And I will be doing a bit of a time-jump until after Adrien gets discharged, unless you guys want a chapter about Zoe recovering her complete sanity and staying with Adrien. And I'm debating having Chloe roped into their little 'shitty parent' club.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So… I'm finally back. Rejoice.**

 **To all who read Rise of Papillon, you know why I was gone. To those who don't, long story short, I get migraines that effectively cripple me for anywhere between a day and a week, and Halloween did me in, followed my CERT final (yeah, there is a reason Zoe's a CERT, because I know shit). So, I'm** _ **finally**_ **getting better, I would be fully better, but some punk ass kid pulled the fire alarm yesterday. It's getting insane, the twentieth time this school year alone, sometimes two or three in the same day! It's not even the same kid each time they catch one!**

 **Also, I want to do Reverser, and want Zoe/Fireheart to be reversed, because she has yet to fall for this shit, but I don't know what to do. Polite? Not homicidal? Wanting to fucking kill Adrien? Send me reviews with ideas.**

 **And because Season 2 is over—I won the bet, bitches! Natalie is Mayura! Meaning it will be another bet that gets Paula fucking with this story; but Cousin Marv stole $200/500 of my money, so I stole the keys to his car until he paid me back—I will be doing a singular OC akuma before Heroes' Day.**

 **On a side note, what was with Guitar Villain and Frightengale? Were they honestly there to provide battle music? I watched it without subtitles, so I have no clue. But if they were, that is kind of badass on Hawk Daddy's part. And that man can kick monkey ass in a dress suit, that will be hysterical to play around with including Fireheart. XD**

 **Anyway, this chapter hopefully will be worthwhile, back to comedy, and there will finally be some equality to Adrien. Because after breaking him in the last chapter, I had to atone.**

 **Chapter 11: Of preventing Anansi, fighting Malediktator, Adrien getting out of the hospital, Chloe getting roped into the shitty parent club, and the reveal (and Adrien's mental breakdown 2.0) (Goddamn this title is long)**

In the three days since Adrien had woken up, Zoe had become a daily visitor and often slept on the couch. It had taken awhile, but he could now hold down small amounts of food and drink and have the lights on dim. Alya had invited Zoe over to her place with Nino and Marinette, but she refused to go without Adrien, so they had on a videocall on an i-Pad, with the volume low and the brightness dimmed.

Alya and Nino were dancing in front of the television with some version of _Just Dance_. Marinette was watching from behind, next to her phone with the two watching from the device.

"They're so in sync with each other." Marinette said, watching their friends dance.

"You're right." Adrien agreed quietly, "Someday I hope I'll find someone I can share everything with… like they do." He sighed, "But until my father starts letting me go out more often, that probably won't be happening. Or when I get out of this damn hospital."

Zoe swatted him, "Says the guy who still can't be in a room with normal lights."

"Shut it, you."

"Big finish, here we go!" Nino said, so Marinette lifted her phone, "You don't wanna miss this." Nino posed on one leg in a humous impression of a ballerina. "Yeah!" Marinette and Alya started laughing, and Zoe just smiled, turning down the volume to avoid making Adrien get a headache.

A woman entered the apartment, "Aw, shoot. Did I miss the ballet?"

Alya turned, "Nora, is your match over already?

The woman, Nora, put down her bag, "First round: total knockout." She punched the air, "As usual." She then proceeded to whisper something in Alya's ear, then looked up, "The name is Anansi, like a spider."

Zoe muted it and turned to Adrien, "Fuck no! I hate spiders! It's the only thing I hate more than Peacocks."

"What is your vendetta against Peacocks, anyway? Is it Mayura?"

"No. When I was four, one chased me around the zoo. Three years later, one jumped out of a tree right in front of me and I swear to god was trying to crush me. Dad says the thing was stoned from all the marijuana in the air, and simply fell, but I beg to differ." **(A/N: I am not kidding, that really happened to me, and I had to add it to Zoe's character, to add some amusement with Mayura.)** She unmuted the tablet and was met with the sight of Nora spitting out her drink.

"Oh no! Baguette and Cappie can go with the Cellphone Twins if they want, but you're staying here." She crushed the milk carton under her hand, "It's way too dangerous."

So what Zoe got from that was Nora being a protective older sister, but didn't know their names. Still, she might use those names herself, they were kind of great.

"But Nora—I mean, Anansi, you can't do that!" She heard Marinette say.

"Yeah, no way dude, we're not going without Alya!" Take a hint at who said that one.

"Listen, I appreciate you worrying about me and all, but I'm not a little girl anymore. Besides, Mom and Dad are totally cool with it." Alya said. Zoe frowned, she was honestly agreeing with Nora on this one, not that she wanted Alya stuck at home. If it were her talking to Adrien right now, with him in the hospital, upon learning akumas could be truly dangerous, and he weren't a superhero, she herself would be reluctant; she wouldn't keep his inside all the time like his dick of a father, but she would at least be cautious, and wait for him to get out of the hospital.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk, there have been way too many akumatized peeps in Paris these last few weeks. Look how many times you've been in direct danger. So, you're staying home, safe and sound, period!"

"That's so ridiculous!" Alya retorted, "The twins were akumatized right here at home."

"And Volpina flew into my house to try kidnapping me," Adrien added, "and Simon Says managed to take down the security system and successfully kidnapped my father. I don't think being at home changes anything."

"Well, none of that would've never happened on my watch. I won't let anybody mess with my family. As for your situation, Cellphone Boy, if I was your sister it would still apply." Zoe found herself taking quite a liking to Nora, except for the spider thing.

"You mean like the other day at the square?" Alya said dryly.

"What happened?" Zoe asked, handing Adrien some jello for him to eat, because it was the only thing remotely sugary for him to eat to fatten him up—because he was purely muscle, not fat, very obviously malnourished. He did, but continued watching the screen, only to look away and close his eyes, so Zoe turned the brightness down some more.

"Well… we came across a man handing out flyers," Marinette explained, "Nora thought the man was akumatized and wanted to turn Alya into a banana-zombie."

Zoe laughed quietly, "To be fair, that would not win the award of strangest akuma we've had. Remember the STD zombies? Or the Pigeon Man? Or Reflekta? Do I need to keep going?"

Nora pointed to the phone, as though thanking her, "Thank you! How was I supposed to know it was some stupid costume? And besides, what would happen if the Ferris wheel stopped working 'cause some akumatized dude refused to pay his fare? Once you fly-weights can actually defend yourselves like me," she proceeded to flex, "we'll talk about it."

"It doesn't matter," Marinette said, "because Ladybug, Cat Noir and Fireheart would save us if there were any problems."

"Uh-huh. And what if Mister Whiskers is catching a mouse or still at the vet with pneumonia, that Beetle's been sprayed with bug spray, and the Fire-Breathing Bitch decides to kill everyone? What do you do then? Remember what happened to the Agreste kids when Style Queen attacked," She pointed at Adrien, "I'm looking at the bandage wrapped around his head." Zoe was still enjoying Nora and made a mental note to meet her in person. Plus, she had been referred to as a Fire-Breathing Bitch! All she needed to do now was get 'Queen' added to the title and she would achieve Aelin Galanthynius status! Fire-Breathing Bitch Queen! Yes!

"I can protect Alya if I have to." Nino said, and Zoe immediately realized this as the episode where Carapace was introduced.

"Oh yeah? And how exactly are you planning to defeat the villain? A dance-off?" She laughed, and Zoe crossed her arms,

"Hey, that's how they did it in _Guardians of the Galaxy_."

Adrien rolled his eyes, but looked back to the screen as Nino spoke, "I'd… do anything to protect Alya."

"Hmm, ha! Okay, Alya can go out with you guys…" Nora placed her elbow on the table, "if… you beat me at an arm wrestle."

"Please, don't arm-wrestle on my account. I don't need to be protected."

Zoe sighed, "Nora, how about you go with us? That way we can be protected. Because I can see it now," she made her voice deeper to impersonate Nora in a similar fashion to how she mimicked the voices of every character of every pop-culture she ever watched, "How did this little fly-weight win?! I have been cheated!" In her normal voice, "I know that's nothing like you, Nora, I'm just proving a point. But the point is, you'd get akumatized, and then the superheroes would have to get off their asses and do shit. If you're there, at least you would have peace of mind."

Nora just blinked at her, "Let me guess, you're a protective sister as well. Because that's a great idea."

"Indeed, I am, and thank you."

Alya hugged Nora, "Awesome! I can't remember I spent some time with my big sis."

So, they all went to the fireworks, no akuma caused.

It was only after that did Zoe realize she had just stopped Nino from becoming Carapace. Shit. Well, there was always another time.

OoOoO

A week after that, Adrien was finally discharged from the hospital. Another three days after that was him returning to school. They had made an agreement that he would not fight any akuma unless 110% necessary, for one attack—but necessary meant something like Ladybug being down, evil, or anything that required assistance that meant Chloe otherwise—because he still got dizzy spells and headaches; and he had to wear sunglasses to avoid light.

Right now, they were watching the most pathetic thing they had ever seen.

Because Zoe was only half paying attention, it boiled down to Chloe failing to cosplay as Queen Bee and Ladybug, trying to promote herself. Even though she hadn't used the wig for Ladybug, kept her sunglasses for Queen Bee, and let's not forget Fireheart had exploited how horrible a superhero she was, risking lives to gain fame.

"That's not Ladybug," Ivan shouted, "that's you, Chloe!" The entire class, short of Adrien—who was pinching the bridge of his nose in hopes of avoiding a headache, because massaging temples still hurt like a bitch, and he still had the bandage wrap around his head—and Zoe—who was thinking about nothing in particular, doodling pawprints and ladybugs on Adrien's cast subconsciously; anyway, they all started laughing.

"Of course, that's the real Ladybug!" Zoe looked up, looking to Adrien, who was now shutting his eyes, sensing where one comment would lead. Here comes Malediktator. Fucking dicks. Maybe if they were lucky, someone could prevent it like Zoe had managed to prevent Anansi.

"But Chloe," Miss Bustier asked, "could you tell me why you chose to do an assignment about yourself? Uh—I mean, about Queen Bee?"

"Well, our assignment was to choose an important person in French history and I actually saved France. Even Ladybug says so…" She clicked a button on the remote and the Chloe dressed as Ladybug, spoke,

"Queen Bee really makes us stronger, she truly is _Miraculous_."

Both Adrien and Zoe narrowed their eyes at the bad pun, like, truly bad, uncalled for, pun.

"Chloe, it's so obvious that's you dressed up as Ladybug. You didn't even bother to match your hair color."

Zoe had to say something, "Remember Frightengale? I know for a fact you have a Ladybug wig. And that was not even three weeks ago, I don't think that counts as history."

"Uh… she… just… dyed her hair blonde to look like me." the entire class started laughing again, "Ugh, you're all a bunch of losers!" She looked towards Adrien, who was closing his eyes, trying to subtly cover his ears, "Except you, Adrikins. None of you deserve to see the rest of my documentary."

"Oh, what a shame." Marinette said sarcastically, likely louder than intended, as she immediately realized what she just said and looked shocked; the class laughed harder as Marinette covered her mouth with her hands. Adrien slipped a note across the bench to Zoe

 _If I pretend to faint, can you get us out of here before someone gets akumatized, or I really do faint? I need to take some more pain killers before I can deal with this shit._

Zoe nodded, smirking lightly, as Adrien let out a choked scream, closing his eyes just enough to give the impression of his eyes rolling into the back of his head—thank you plan to get Gabriel to stop being Hawk Moth #396—slumping into Zoe's supposedly unsuspecting arms.

"Adrien!" Everyone gasped, and Nino jumped up in alarm, as well as Marinette. Zoe made a show of checking his pulse and doing a blanch test, as well as a couple other fancy things that didn't really do shit, but made things look more dramatic than they really were—thank you plan #142—before picking him up in a one-arm carry (also known as bridal style) walking out of the classroom,

"I know the period isn't over, but do you really want to leave the kid who just collapsed because you all were being loud and irritating, and has still-mending cracks in his skull, here? And away from pain killers? I think not. At least I will be back by lunch, hopefully with Adrien." Miss Bustier didn't stop her as she walked into the courtyard, explaining the situation to Natalie—the almost fainting, not the faking to escape—and she came to get them.

They got home and shut all the windows in Adrien's room, letting him rest on bed, Zoe as well.

"Thanks, Zo. I was getting dark spots."

"No problem."

They sat together for a bit, Zoe reading him her favorite book she had read with her Dad when she herself had a migraine _: Kill the Farm Boy_. She used her funny voices in the impression of an audio book, while he closed his eyes. When his breathing evened out, she sat there with him, her mind swirling with thoughts.

Contrary to popular belief, Zoe had never _hated_ Chloe, but had strongly disliked her. But upon meeting Audrey, and seeing their relationship, she had begun to understand. She realized Chloe's biggest problem was that she had grown up in an environment where bad behavior and bullying others was a good thing. Her mother could be rude, bossy and plain cruel and no one except Natalie tried to fight against her, because of her position. Chloe looked up her mother, so obviously, she wanted to be just like her. Meaning when people called her out, Chloe didn't understand why people hated her. Her mother got only praise and good treatment for acting like she was the queen of the world—unless you bring up the getting decapitated. It was only natural Chloe thought that the problem was in others, and she needed to learn that being nice, polite and all in all good person led to people to like her more.

She also knew the change wasn't going to happen overnight. In real life, change like that would take years. Maybe if she roped Chloe into the basics of their two-person shitty parent club, teach her that her mother could suck it, and independence was key.

Adrien slept for about two hours, before slowly waking up,

"What time is it…?"

Zoe checked her phone, "Ten after lunch. Are you up to it? Because I could just get your homework."

"No, I'm feeling good enough." He stood up, leaning on the wall for support as vertigo hit him, before grabbing an Advil, swallowing it. Zoe handed him a bag of chips and a bread roll—what? She only had snack food around—he ate it and they had Gorilla drive them back to school.

They entered the courtyard to find everyone cheering, and celebrating.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Adrien asked, "What are we celebrating?"

Marinette turned, "You're alright!" She sighed in relief, "As to what we're celebrating, Chloe's gone! She's moving to New York!

Adrien suddenly looked really sad, "Chloe left…? For good?" Zoe frowned, because she knew Chloe would be back by the end of the episode, but not saying goodbye to Adrien of all people was just plain rude.

Marinette was still excited, not realizing Adrien was not sharing everyone else's enthusiasm, and Zoe had a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, "Yeah! Isn't it great?"

"Uh… no." Adrien turned to her, actually taking off the sunglasses to ensure eye-contact even though his eyes still couldn't properly dilate yet, leading to him quickly putting them back on, "I think it's terrible! How can you celebrate a thing like that?"

"But, Chloe's a total brat to everyone. She was useless anyway." Ouch. That was low, even to Zoe, who was fully ready to kill Chloe's mother—she still had a week and a half before estimated recovery from her Brief Psychotic Disorder, it had gotten better, but Gabriel and Audrey were not yet safe.

"Nobody's useless," Adrien retaliated, "not even Chloe. When I was little and wasn't allowed out, she was the only friend I had. She left angry and unhappy. I can't celebrate that." He walked into the locker room sadly, Zoe about to follow him when she heard Marinette say,

"I'm really sorry, Adrien."

Zoe just shrugged to her, and did follow him, finding he had turned off the lights. He was crying.

"Adrien?" She sat down beside him on the floor, letting him cry on her shoulder, "Come on, let it out. I've got you, I've got you. Chloe's going to be back in a little bit, I promise."

Adrien looked up at her with red eyes, "You think so?"

"I know so. We still have Heroes' Day. If this was the finale, I wouldn't be so sure, but we still have roughly four episodes before that." She wondered why she sounded so gentle, not a hint of her usual sarcasm. But she realized Adrien had made her a better person, she would not have done something like this at home for anyone but Eden and maybe Sam. God, she did really miss them, but she tried to not think about it. "Do you want to go back home for the day?" They both heard Nino DJing outside, "Speaking as someone who gets migraines, I think this will be too loud for you. Or do you want me to just read _Kill the Farm Boy_ in here?"

He couldn't respond before they heard the sound of a helicopter outside, Adrien clamped his hands over his ears, and Zoe pulled out two large pairs of headphones from her bag, putting one over Adrien's ears, and one over her own. Her Dad had had these, they could literally block out a gunshot.

Next thing they knew, people were storming in and wrecking everything. Zoe saw Marinette run in, likely to transform, so Zoe took Adrien in the other direction,

"Adrien, I think we'll have to do shit. Blazze, Wings Out!"

"Plagg, Claws out." Suddenly he looked like a huge burden had been lifted, "Holy shit, I feel better than I have since before the fashion show."

Okay, that did technically make sense. Fireheart just prayed it would last. They ran out and saw people completely destroying the school,

They stood on the helicopter rotors for dramatic effect, "Hey, you! Do you have a demolition permit for this school?" No really, did he? Probably not. But it would be interesting to see that happen.

"I don't need a permit. I am Malediktator, the all-powerful supermayor of Paris, and this is my city."

"It does not, asshole. Even if it was; only until you get assassinated or impeached!" Fireheart snapped, as Ladybug joined them,

"Paris is _our_ city! It belongs to everyone."

Ladybug started the battle, landing right in front of Malediktator with her yo-yo. He punched, or tried to, but she dodged. Cat Noir hit him on the head with his staff while Fireheart used her fire-shields to make him stumble. Malediktator eventually—after like five minutes—succeeded in grabbing Cat Noir's staff and threw him away, though Fireheart was able to roll him away from the wall, both getting back up to their feet. Malediktator grabbed a wooden bench to try and smash Ladybug, who dodged, but did release her hold on Malediktator's wrist, which had been tied back with her yo-yo.

"By the power vested in me, I declare that your Miraculous are my property!" He created three orbs and sent them after Ladybug, Cat Noir and Fireheart, who dodged them; however, the orbs kept up their pursuit and the heroes fled to the roof, until Fireheart destroyed them with her shields. She smirked as she realized she was so OP she sometimes forgot parts of her powers.

"It's time we impeach him and declare him powerless!"

"The akuma has to be in his sash." Ladybug suggested, "Lucky Charm!" An abacus appeared, "An abacus?"

"While you figure that out, I'll take care of Malediktator. Come on, Fire." He stood up, jumping down for the attack.

"Cat Noir, wait!" Both women shouted, but it was too late, because they saw him get hit by a bubble. His attitude instantly changed. He starts acting like his namesake, a cat. He chased a toilet roll over to Audrey."

"Oh no!"

"Ah, fucking dicks! Every damn time!"

Malediktator walked up to Cat Noir, whose cheek was being stroked by Audrey, making Fireheart realized Malediktator had probably made her not-a-bitch and was wishing he could have done that before. As Malediktator approached, Cat Noir hid behind Audrey.

"Cat Noir!" Fireheart shouted, about to go down there to help him, but Ladybug grabbed her wrist.

Malediktator reached for Cat Noir's Miraculous, but Cat Noir clawed at him, and Malediktator backed off.

"Kitty still has claws!" She assured, "Hold on, Cat Noir, we'll be right back!" She swung off, followed by Fireheart flying after her.

They both detransformed in front of Master Fu's shop and Marinette burst in, "Master Fu! A villain has transformed Cat Noir… into a cat!"

"And he's still recovering!" Zoe added, "If his transformation wears out, he might get worse! Who knows what Hawk Moth would do!" Marinette gasped, clearly not having thought of that.

"What?! But… perhaps you shouldn't have left him by himself. He's at Hawk Moth's mercy!"

"Thank you!" Zoe said, "Shall I go back with my halberd and kill him? I need to rescue kitty, and take care for Adrien! Do you understand how hard it is to babysit them?" Babysitting one was hard enough at times, the idea of there being two made her want to jump out a window sometimes.

"I know, but the Lucky Charm led me here!"

"And the Lucky Charm never fails."

"Sure it does." Zoe muttered, "What about last time she came here for the Bee?" Master Fu ignored her and grabbed the Miracle Box and placed it before Marinette and Zoe, "Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Zoe Carpenter, pick an ally you can trust to fight alongside you on this mission. Choose wisely; such powers are meant to serve the greater good. Once the mission is over, you'll retrieve the Miraculous from them."

Marinette put a finger under her chin, "I must choose someone who's not impressed by people in power. Who can help me trap Malediktator."

"You mean me?" Zoe asked, "I still want to kill Audrey. Painfully."

"But we need someone to stun—Of course! That's it." She reached for the Bee, before recoiling from it, "Wait, what am I thinking?"

Zoe looked down at it, "The plot pushing part of me tells me to tell you to follow your instincts. The logical part of me tells you that's a terrible idea, Marinette."

Marinette picked up the Bee Miraculous.

"Are you sure you want to give it back to… her?" Master Fu asked, "Because I'm with Zoe on this one."

"Don't worry, Master; I know how to make good use of it this time." She ran off and Zoe tugged at her dark locks before running after her. This was stupid. In her mind, running was reserved for when one is late, or who something horrid is chasing you. Neither of which was currently happening, but would be if they went through with this plan. But Adrien needed her, so she'd run.

Fortunately, she had always been the fastest of her class—that did not mean she had the best endurance, but being a cartoon character assisted with that little problem—so she was able to catch up with Marinette quickly.

"Mari! Wait up!" She was fast, but so was Marinette, and she had gotten a head-start. She finally caught up and Marinette turned towards her while running,

"I gotta find Chloe before Malediktator." She whipped out her phone, still running while Zoe guided her, until she pointed, "Look!"

She pointed at Marinette's parents, walking the streets with suitcases in their hands. They both slowed

"Uh… uh… what are they doing? Mom! Dad!"

"Ah, Marinette." Tom said cheerfully, "A man named Malediktator was looking for you. Thanks to him, we're leaving Paris forever."

Sabine nodded, "Come with us, honey. Last one there is a big slow snail!" They walked off and Zoe gritted her teeth together.

"Did Chloe try to get you banished from Paris? Are you _positive_ this is a good idea?"

"Your poor parents." Tikki said, "We really have to stop Malediktator."

Marinette looked between them, "I know it's questionable, and we have to stop Malediktator, but we've got find Chloe first. Her Venom attack with be extremely helpful." She looked at her phone again, "She talked about her secret lair in her documentary. Hmm. Wait a minute. I know where her lair is!"

"It's the roof on Le Grand Paris, doy. Even I could tell, and I wasn't paying attention."

Marinette stared at her, "Okay, let's go."

Five minutes I'm too lazy to write later

Fireheart and Ladybug landed on the roof, just as Chloe came up the stairs and saw them, then fell on her ass trying to stop in time.

"Are you okay?" Ladybug asked, Fireheart looking her up and down, "She's fine."

"Ladybug, finally! You're going to help me, right?" She backed up from Fireheart a bit.

"I'm fine with helping you, Chloe," Ladybug said, shocking Fireheart, "but first… I need you to tell me what happened. Why is your father—I mean, Malediktator, so mad?"

"It's because of this super lame loser named Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She's this horrible girl in my class and she hates me." Fireheart sat down as well, seeing Ladybug looked angry, but then contained her feelings, "She's ganged everyone up against me and she—"

Fireheart crossed her arms, "Maybe Marinette isn't entirely to blame? Need I remind you the events two weeks ago."

"Uh! Ugh. Okay, it wasn't totally Marinette's fault. She is really mean to me sometimes, but actually, this time, Daddy got angry all by himself."

Not even Ladybug bought it, "All by himself?"

"Yeah, because… there was something he couldn't do…"

"Was it banish Marinette? Because we saw her parents leaving 'forever' after seeing Malediktator."

Chloe's eyes widened, but she didn't answer as Ladybug put a hand on her shoulder,

"Chloe, it's me, Ladybug. You can trust me. You can tell me the truth."

"I—I—"

"Mm-hmm."

There were genuine tears falling from Chloe's eyes, "Fireheart's right. It—it was me. I hurt my daddy's feelings. Because I want to leave Paris, forever."

"Because of what happened in school?" Ladybug asked, "I'm sure Marinette probably didn't exactly mean what she said."

"Oh, it's not just her—actually, I don't even care about her—it's because I have no reason to be here: nobody likes me, I have no friends, I'm… useless." Damn. That was slightly depressing. But it wasn't unfair.

Ladybug smiled, "A friend once told me: nobody is useless, Chloe."

"It's easy for you to say that. You're Ladybug, a superhero. You serve a purpose."

"Yes, I can fix up all the messes. You said it yourself in your documentary."

Chloe gasped, "You saw it?!"

"Who hasn't?" Fireheart asked rhetorically, "It's on YouTube. Cat Noir and I have seen it too."

Chloe looked away from them, "Oh! I'm so embarrassed. That film's ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I realize that now."

"Don't worry Chloe." Ladybug assured, "You can fix your own messes, if that's what you want. You, too, can serve a purpose, but you have to want to."

Chloe sniffled "I do want to."

Ladybug pulled out the Miraculous box, "Chloe Bourgeois, here is the Bee Miraculous, which grants you the power to immobilize your opponent. You will use it for the greater good. Or Fireheart will beat you, she's a loose cannon, I cannot control her. The only one who can is Cat Noir, and he's in trouble."

Chloe hesitated, Ladybug nodded approvingly, while Fireheart just shrugged; Chloe took the box and opens it; a yellow ball of light flew around her, and Pollen appeared.

"At your service, my Queen."

"Once the job is complete, you will return the Miraculous to me. Can I trust you, Chloe?"

Chloe put the hair comb in her hair, "I won't disappoint you this time, Ladybug. Pollen, buzz on!" She transformed, and she and Ladybug ran across the rooftops while Fireheart flew beside them.

"I've always dreamed of doing this… with you!"

"We must work together as a team, all right, Queen Bee? And Fireheart, what's the rule."

Fireheart groaned, "No murder."

Queen Bee looked alarmed at that being a rule, "Yes, yes, don't worry. I've been practicing since forever." As if on cue, Ladybug pulled Queen Bee aside, before she could run into a chimney. They kept running.

The sun set alarmingly fast, and they saw Malediktator sitting atop the Hôtel de Ville, surrounded by shielded policemen. The trio of women landed across from the building on a roof. Fortunately, Fireheart saw Cat Noir, still with his active Miraculous, sleeping peacefully.

"Here's the plan—"

Queen Bee stood up, shouting, "Here I am, Daddy! I'm sorry I hurt your feelings the way I did. Stop all this nonsense at once!"

"My honey pie," Audrey shouted back, "you look so pretty in that suit!" Not wrong, but weird coming out of Audrey's mouth.

"Ugh! And please put Mom back to normal. I can't bear to see her like this. Your powers are ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous."

"That's enough!" Malediktator roared, "Now you're going to do what I tell you to do. By the power vested in me, give me your Miraculous!" He shot the orbs the heroes' way. Fireheart blocked them with her shields as Ladybug and Queen Bee jumped up and launched their respective weapons at Malediktator. Both attacks got blocked by a wall of shields.

Ladybug moved in, trying to kick this time, but got blocked by shields again. Queen Bee was fighting some policemen alongside Fireheart and winning. Ladybug swung herself around the building and launched herself in the air, attempting an attack from above. The attack was, however, blocked again by shields. Not even Fireheart would have had a chance to use her Dragon Flame.

Malediktator watched this for a bit, before throwing his hands up, "By the power vested in me, I declare you all my slaves!" He suddenly made a big ass orb.

"That bubble is going to be a tough one to dodge!"

"He's gonna take over the whole city!" The trio tried attacking again, but alas, the shields did their job well, "Queen Bee, you need to get past his guards. Lucky Charm!" A huge gun with laser sight appeared.

Queen Bee didn't hesitate to hide as far away from Fireheart as possible, "Well, that's an effective Lucky Charm! Don't give it to Fireheart."

But Fireheart had already snatched it, seeing a perfect use for it. She used the eye-piece to get a better view, ready to activate the laser. Ladybug gasped at the idea, and Queen Bee activated Venom.

"Focus on Malediktator;" Fireheart said, "Kitty and I will deal with the guards." She activated the laser in front of Cat Noir who started chasing it. She made a mental note to try this on a normal day as he jumped on the back of every policeman to throw them off the building. Malediktator noticed but couldn't intervene as he was still making the orb.

After Cat Noir was done, only he, Malediktator and Audrey were still on the elevated platform. But this provided enough distraction for Queen Bee to jump up,

"Sorry, Daddy!" She stung Malediktator on his sash; he lets out a girlish squeal. The orb he was creating disappeared as Queen Bee threw the sash to Ladybug, "Your turn, Ladybug."

Ladybug caught it and broke it in half like it was nothing—though it was fabric, so yeah—the akuma fluttered out, and she did her usual thing, turning Cat Noir back to normal and teleporting the policemen, Malediktator and Audrey back down, after which Malediktator turned back into Andre.

Audrey was clearly back her old self again, "Wha—? What are we doing here?! What have you done this time, Andre?"

Cat Noir walked up to them, earning a hug from Fireheart, "Ah, bummer; don't tell me I missed out on the party."

"Yep, you missed Queen Bee, Fireheart and Ladybug saving Paris, for real this time." She too, hugged him, "I was worried about you when Fireheart told me you were sick."

Cat Noir was blushing furiously, until Queen Bee detransformed, "I understand, Ladybug." She gave back her Miraculous, "Being a superhero isn't only about fixing messes." Ladybug held up her hand in a fist; Chloe gasps and smiled as they bumped fists, while Cat Noir and Fireheart did it themselves.

"Sorry, M'Lady. Feel like I was pretty useless this time around."

Ladybug grinned as Chloe ran off to her family, "Actually, you were totally key in defeating Malediktator."

"Really? Tell me all about it!"

Ladybug's Miraculous beeped, "Next time. Bug out!" She swung off, and Fireheart smirked, revealing she had tied her hair into a high bun, because the band held a Go-Pro, "You needed to see it, so it's all recorded."

OoOoO

The next day, there was yet another party was going on at school. Marinette and Chloe arrived.

"All right, I came to your stupid party… now what?"

"Look there," Marinette said, "we're having a party in honor of the girl who saved Paris: Queen Bee!"

Chloe gasped "But—Queen Bee is… me. You're— you're having a party… for me?" She then talked to Sabrina and showed a bunch of people a glowing box. Adrien began talking to Marinette, while Zoe dragged Chloe to a quiet corner, making her decision.

"Ah! Zoe…"

"I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk." Chloe still didn't look convinced, and Zoe sighed, "I expected that. I wanted to invite you over this weekend, Adrien and I have a little club, because we both have or had a singular shitty parent we changed ourselves for. Want to join?"

Chloe was taken aback, "Shitty parent? Both my parent are—" Zoe's expression made her point clear, "Oh. You mean my mother."

"You know Chloe, you and I aren't so different in some ways." Zoe said, "We both are good people deep down, but hide behind being a bitch, and Adrien and Marinette have both seen through us. You have the potential to be loved by everyone—and I know about your doubts, because I have those doubts sometimes too—but you can't change yourself to be exactly like your mother. Come over, Chloe, play some video games and eat junk food with us, unburden your problems." She smiled, seeing Chloe looking shocked, and happy, "Adrien cares about you, and I saw that you tried to help the two of us when Style Queen came." She smirked, "And I'm stubborn as hell, don't think I'll give up."

Chloe smiled, looking towards where Adrien and Marinette were laughing together, "I'd like that, Zoe."

"Call me Zo, or Satan. Both names fit."

That caused Chloe to genuinely laugh, and not her weird bitchy laugh, "Fine then, Satan."

"Come on, let's get back to the party."

OoOoO

This had not been how she expected the reveal to go. She had planned on telling Adrien Ladybug's secret identity, but she had not expected it to go like this.

She had been editing the video of Malediktator when Adrien came in. But she had transformed and turned on the camera before Marinette had transformed, and any intellectually capable reader would correctly guess that Adrien walked in just as that part was playing.

Zoe was unsure what his response would be. But never in a million years did she think _this_ was it. Because he wrapped his head around the fact Marinette was Ladybug…

And panicked.

"Marinette is Ladybug…" He muttered for the thirty-seventh time—she had counted— "Oh shit…on a good day I can almost believe I have a shot with Ladybug. She's dazzling and incredible, sure, but she's stubborn and she laughs at my dumb jokes, and I've seen her faceplant into the Seine. She's a superhero, but I'm also a superhero, so that can balance out." He inhaled deeply, only to continue,

"But Marinette Dupain-Cheng?! There is no way I'm cool enough for Marinette Dupain-Cheng! Marinette is objectively the most popular girl in out grade, Zoe; everyone has had a crush on her at least once!" He broke out in a cold sweat while Zoe filmed this, eating popcorn with zero shame, muttering various 'mhms' and 'okays'.

"Marinette is tough as nails, okay! She stands up for what's right in every situation! She's faced down akumas without the suit! She even confronts CHLOE! The only other person to do that, is you, Zo, YOU! AND ONLY, BECAUSE YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT! Oh god…" He had lapped the room a good three times now, even using the zipline twice, though how with a broken wrist was a mystery, did he just use one hand?

"Without a doubt," he continued, "Marinette is the most talented person in the damn school. She has a million passions and wins every contest she enters, whether or not it's for fashion or video games of the student council!"

"Because of main character syndrome." Zoe muttered under her breath, but he either didn't hear, or didn't care.

"Marinette designed an album cover for JAGGED STONE with the was THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD! I asked her for an AUTOGRAPH! OH FUCK, OH FUCK, OH FUCK! Zo, she's even more incredible without the suit, what the fuck do I do!?" Zoe was now clutching her stomach, laughing, while the kwamis ate the popcorn, also laughing.

"THIS IS A CRISIS, GUYS! HOW DO NONE OF YOU SEE THAT THIS IS A CRISIS!? STOP LAUGHING!" That only made them laugh harder.

Zoe took gasping breaths, relived that his own shrieking hadn't done him in, but way too amused by this conversation for her own good.

"Oh kitty, this is going to be fun."

 **A/N: And there we go. The next chapter will be the Shitty Parent Club.**

 **Also, I made another bet with Paula, and this time we need everyone's help. She bet that nobody would succeed in drawing Zoe, and even though I thought it was a joke at the time, I bet against. Photoshop is one thing, but fifty dollars and a month without doing the dishes in on the line! And the dishes always get nasty. Please help. Just let me know if you accept the challenge. And Paula wants me to tell you all that she loves you (I think she's trying to sweet talk you all into convincing me to let her write a chapter, but she is grateful to the people who read her stories).**

 **Also, Carapace will appear in a later chapter, I just feel Anansi could have been easily avoided.**

 **Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **And as a little token of my appreciation for being patient during the hiatus, here is the title for the Frozer based episode:**

 **She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me—shit, a Villain.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: And I'm back.**

 **For the record, I try to avoid being gone for long periods of time, but I'm a high schooler taking eight classes with tons of homework. It was easier at the beginning of the year, but is getting harder. I will try to update periodically. Thankfully, Thanksgiving break is coming, and my parents are ditching Paula and I to go on a Disney Cruise to the Caribbean (because why the hell not, and yes, my parents are going on a Disney Cruise without their children) which means Grandma is coming over for two weeks, and my cousins are coming over next week. So…either I will be updating like crazy, or not for a while, just a warning in advance. Also, the WiFi is being a bitch.**

 **Chapter 12: Yet another person falling down a rabbit hole of mindfuck**

Adrien and Zoe were going over their "Why Emilie is in a Coffin" theories when Chloe came over. It turned out, Adrien felt like he had betrayed Marinette by learning her secret identity—having cried over that fact for a good three days, unable to look Marinette in the eye for ten minutes of the first one, before getting elbowed in the gut by Zoe, telling him to pull it together—and this was a lesser of two evils for his brain. But the theories of the fandom were right, him finding out first was a Certified Disaster TM and she was all over being there to see it, but didn't want Chloe or anyone else living in this house to witness the hilarious outcome.

Shoving the whiteboard under the bed, they hopped onto the couch, with Adrien pretending to nap on Zoe's lap.

"Ugh. I'm here, so why did you want me to come?" Adrien looked up to his childhood friend, running a hand through his hair, relishing the lack of bandage wrap,

"Hey Chlo." He grinned, holding out some brownies, "Brownie?"

Chloe seemed taken aback, but sat down beside them, taking a brownie reluctantly, about to turn up her nose at it upon seeing it wasn't gourmet, but took one look at Zoe—who wasn't even looking at her, instead doodling on Adrien's cast as per usual—and took a bite, her eyes widening,

"Holy…this is amazing. Not fancy looking, but…wow."

Zoe grinned, turning away from her makeover of Adrien's cast, "Thanks. It was my Great-Grandma's recipe, like everything else I cook."

Even Adrien was startled at that, "Huh? Really?"

"Yeah. In my family, the eldest son gets the cooking, and the younger gets the baking. But since my father was an only child, and only had daughters, and Eden managed to set soup on fire, which is 99% water, I was given both. And gourmet food is strange to me. Glad the cynical Chloe Bourgeois likes it. I was debating making the shrimp jello just to ruin someone's day—cough Hawk Moth cough—but I have now decided not to." **(A/N: Shrimp jello is really a family recipe, and it is the** _ **worst**_ **.)**

"Zo, you're just as cynical as Chloe at times." Adrien retorted playfully, ruffling her hair, "But never make shrimp jello or I will go down faster than Snow White, and I have no prince to rescue me from that, just you and CPR," Zoe rolled her eyes as Chloe chuckled at their banter.

"Anyway," Zoe turned on the PlayStation, "Basically we play video games, ask questions, make dirty jokes, and eat food _._ " _And freak the fuck out._ "We also take names and kick ass."

Three hours later

After binge playing video games for a bit, they decided to play a different game. It boiled down to giving someone a situation involving the other two, and ask what they would do.

"Okay Adrien," Chloe asked, "What would you do if Zoe or I were kidnapped?"

Adrien laughed, "Nothing. I'd just wait thirty minutes until they let you go voluntarily. Or Satan here," he gestured to Zoe, "killed them." They all laughed at how accurate that was, then he made his voice slightly higher, panicked, "Ah! Oh my god, she killed everyone! Run for your lives!" Cue more laughter.

"Okay Zo," Chloe said, grinning in a way that made Zoe question If this was the same girl who had akumatized half of Paris, "What would you do?"

"For Adrien, you know Chloe: fucking kill the captor. For you Chloe…I'm with Adrien on this one."

"Screw you guys. What if they didn't let me go after thirty minutes."

"Then we'd go in, swords blazing, screaming blood and thunder." Adrien deadpanned. Zoe grinned,

"Or you could mention these things: your tongue always sits uncomfortably in your mouth; you can always see your nose; you have never seen your face, only your reflection; and if you think about breathing, you can't send it back to the subconscious." **(A/N: You're welcome for ruining your day)**

Both Adrien and Chloe had expressions on their faces that told her they were becoming conscious of this, and were now very uncomfortable. She herself was immune, because she had been told this at age 5, but it was funny to watch others squirm.

Adrien slowly raised his middle finger.

"Fuck. You. _Satan_." He said between conscious breaths that were clearly unpleasant. Zoe just giggled,

"Anyway, we're out of food. Who wants to go down to the kitchen and make more?"

Chloe finally came out of her horror-driven silence and scoffed, "Gross. Why would I get my hands dirty?"

"Well, another custom in my family is the cook gets the first taste, and we all know I'm a gremlin when food is involved—think about what I did to Adrien's dietician—so what makes you think you would get any of my delicious treats, Chloe." She smirked smugly while Adrien got up to follow. Chloe remained silent for just under thirty seconds before relenting,

"Fine. But only if you give me those recipes." She then looked up, more than a little afraid, "And what did you do to Adrien's dietician?"

"She gave him a literal heart attack, which caused him to quit." Adrien answered, "He saw what she had been feeding me and he just keeled over. Once he was out of the ICU, he quit and made sure to tell every dietician within a thousand mile radius to stay away from the Agreste family. Zo's still on Gabriel's shit list for that, but the damage has already been done." Chloe was clearly startled by Adrien using his father's real name, but then remembered the basics of the club involving parents, and wisely chose to remain silent.

Zoe smiled with very false innocence, "Hey, it's not murder if he dies of natural causes." Yes, she was still crazy, and had also stopped taking the pills—leading to poor Natalie crushing them up in food and drink, trying to get them into her system, only for the girl in question to realize they were there immediately and spit it out—which meant the month would probably not be the end of it.

To both their surprise, Chloe hugged Zoe,

"Thank god. I hated that guy and was afraid I'd have to do it."

Zoe blinked, Adrien smiled, but he was also blinking.

"What? I care about Adrien, even if I sometimes don't show it, and I don't want him to be a walking skeleton." She pinched Adrien's side, "But are you burning it off? Because it seems to be coming back in muscle." Adrien just shrugged, trying to avoid revealing his secret identity.

Zoe clapped her hands together, pulling out a book—thank you photographic memory and having memorized the best recipes. "Ready?" She then pulled a large grocery bag out of her closet, "Because I bought enough stuff for pumpkin pastries."

OoOoO

They baked for two hours—though Adrien needed help at times with his wrist problem—and made the crust and filling. They were like tiny pumpkin pies.

Chloe had agreed to join them, but not before Zoe got her gloves for her nails, and she refused to touch the eggs, so she was in charge of the pumpkin filling, which boiled down to puree pumpkin, sugar, milk and cinnamon.

"Zo, what do I do now? It's been in the fridge for an hour?" Zoe turned to Chloe as Adrien pulled the half-baked crusts out of the oven, "Oh? Bring it over, now we need to put a spoonful of the stuff onto the crust, fold it over, and put it back in the over for twenty minutes."

They did that quickly as Natalie came down, staring at them for a minute, before deciding to question what they were doing.

"Do I want to know? Rephrase, is that something dangerous?" For once, Zoe truthfully denied the accusation, showing off their treats. Natalie just sighed, "Save some for me." Then she left, clearly not wanting to deal with this.

They finished the pastries, and Zoe drizzled melted chocolate on them, with some powdered sugar. They walked back up to Zoe's room, where Chloe tried to be proper for just under three seconds, before tearing into five with no mercy. Adrien's jaw dropped,

"NOOOO! ANOTHER FOOD GREMLIN!" Both woman laughed, Zoe casually stealing Chloe's hair band, causing the blonde girl's hair to fall from her ponytail. She pocketed it, and Chloe turned to her, clutching her fallen hair,

"Hey! You stole it!"

"You can't see me, you can't stop me." Zoe quoted, fingering the metallic band, spinning it on her index finger. Chloe reached for it, but accidentally kicked Adrien, who yelped and fell backwards, causing the band to fly out of Zoe's hand on rolled under the bed. Chloe ran towards it to prevent Zoe from taking it again.

And then both Agrestes realized their error.

Because what else was under the bed? A full chart of everything short of Ladybug's identity.

Chloe grabbed the band, but also pulled out the board. She stared at it,

"What is this?"

"Yes…" Zoe bit her lip, "That…"

An hour of screeching later

Chloe looked between her childhood friend, to her new positive acquaintance, to the two kwamis floating around the room, to the board, then the ceiling. Then she just looked out the window, while Zoe turned on _The Matrix_ , to drive away Natalie, so the assistant wouldn't question why Chloe was having an existential crisis. Everything they didn't tell her, she figured out on her own—but all identities apart from their own were still a secret; though how she didn't put two and two together with Emilie in a coffin was a mystery beyond the greatest minds.

"What…Zoe…Fireheart…Adrien…Cat Noir…" She tore at her hair, "Oh my god, how did I not see it?! I grew up with Adrien, and Zoe and Fireheart have little in the way of differences…HOW?! And all of this is a TV show!" She took a deep breath, "And Adrien is in love with Marinette…" Yeah, that had been mentioned. Chloe gave a dejected sign, "And now she and I have to get along." Zoe and Adrien looked to each other, neither expecting her to take it as well as she was.

Zoe just shrugged, "Yeah. So do you want more food?"

Chloe nodded, looking towards Adrien, "How did you react to this?"

"About the same you did, but all on the inside."

"Guys, can we please watch Deadpool 2?" Blazze asked, and all the teens stared at the kwami blankly, before just rolling with it.

 **A/N: Shorter chapter, sorry, but I'm saving up my creativeness for Frozer. And as a reward for your patience, here is the Reverser title:**

 **In which hell freezes over (and Fifty Shades of Cat Noir)**

 **So, Chloe knows some stuff, and they will work on her not being a bitch, but I'm doing it slowly, while aware Adrien probably saw a different side of her before going to public school.**

 **Next will be either Frozer or Sandboy, review to let me know which! (Warning: Kagami and Luka will be in no way involved in the Frozer-based episode, because Zoe went and fucked things up).**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Warning - This chapter is more mature. I should mention trigger warning of previous self-harm.**

 **Chapter 13: Nightmare fuel and self-doubt**

Zoe sat in bed, reading the new _Throne of Glass_ book: _Kingdom of Ash_. She was enjoying it, but found herself still nervous for Blazze and Plagg. They had gone back to Master Fu to try communicating with Nooroo, because they had tried before in the house, but Nooroo couldn't leave a five-foot radius of Gabriel, and couldn't communicate with anyone but Gabriel, so it didn't work. She was sickened by the old bastard's rules for his slave/kwami, but there was nothing they could do about that. The reason she was worried was because they weren't anywhere near the finale, so things would likely go to shit, and Hawk Daddy might find Master Fu.

"Long time Zoe, missed you." That voice…that icy voice…there was no way…

She turned from her book slowly, terrified she'd see the entity in front of her, praying this was just a nightmare. Most readers would probably think this was her mother, but it was not.

It was Dausi.

Dausi was the embodiment of her inner demon, the voice in the back of her head that had been a huge part in her depression, always telling her she should kill herself, that she should take a knife and feel pain for being a burden, never good enough. She was ashamed to admit she had mutilated herself a couple times to get the damn voice to shut up, only for Dausi to take a physical form only she could see. There were times where she had wanted to end it all just to make this creature stop terrorizing her every waking moment. She had held out for three years before making the first cut, and never cut deep enough or frequently enough to get addicted, it only happened in moments of severe weakness.

There was a reason the creature's name was Swahili for Peacock. While she—yes, Dausi was a she—had been Zoe's own reflection with inverted coloring at one point (white hair, gold eyes), now she was a large peacock, not peahen, with large hairy tarantula legs. Her voice was much like Zoe's own, but colder, icier. She stood up, making direct eye-contact with the monster she had created.

How was Dausi here? Inner demons seemed a bit mature…and she hadn't seen or heard anything of Dausi since coming to the world of Miraculous.

"D-Dausi…" She breathed, more fear in her voice than she'd let anyone know. She slowly reached for a hammer or something, anything to get this demon away from her. Dausi just scoffed, swatting at her with one hairy leg,

"Pathetic girl, do you really think that dumb hammer would get rid of me. After all, I am you, so you should take that hammer on your skull."

"You don't scare me. You have no power over me." Zoe blatantly lied, her voice cracking, betraying her as the monster before her laughed,

"Please, you're too weak for your own good. Do you really think Adrien cares about you? He blames you for what happened with Style Queen, he finds you horribly annoying and cannot wait for the day you go back to your own world or get hit by a bus." Zoe was cornered now, letting herself weep openly as Dausi continued voicing her deepest fears, "Your family doesn't miss you, they probably threw a party when you vanished."

"T-That's not true…"

"Sure it is. You mother never loved you, you were an accident." She hummed, "Oh boy, I've missed this, missed watching you cry like the pathetic shrimp you are. You hide behind your weapons, sass, and insanity to bury just how weak you are, how much you need love, even though you are unlovable."

"GO AWAY!" Zoe shrieked, curling up in a ball, covering her ears.

Then she heard Adrien's cry,

"Nathalie! Father! Zoe! Can anybody hear me?! Help me!"

Suddenly everything snapped into place. Zoe stood up, sledgehammer in hand, and ran to Adrien's room, where the boy in question was on the brink of a panic attack, surrounded by iron bars. Sandboy. It had to be!

"Adrien!"

Adrien looked towards her, "Zoe! Thank god! Please help."

"Where are you going? To the boy who wants rid of you?" Adrien's eyes widened when he saw Dausi crawl towards them, rubbing his eyes to make sure they weren't playing tricks on him,

"Do I want to know? And that _thing_ is lying, I do care about you, let's just put that out there. But please get rid of it, it's genuinely terrifying."

Zoe smirked at Dausi smugly, Adrien's words giving her even more courage than the fact it was just an akuma-caused illusion. She swung the hammer down and Dausi was crushed, leaving a pile of blue-purple-gold sand. She then turned to the bars, "Adrien, just focus on your breathing, don't panic. Thanks for helping me with mine." She swung her hammer repeatedly, breaking the bars with little problem.

She helped him out, and she saw he was holding a sock that looked kind of like Plagg. She cursed the kwami to hell, as it was clear he had lied and that had a part in Adrien's panic.

"Plagg's fine." She said simply, "He and Blazze are going to try contacting Nooroo with the other kwamis, but they needed to go back to Master Fu. Though I'm eating all his cheese for a week as punishment for that."

As if on cue, Plagg rushed in, shocked to see the broken bars. Blazze made her way in a second later.

"Adrien! Are you okay?" Plagg asked with more worry than Zoe thought intentional. Blazze rushed to Zoe's side, "Zoe!"

"Plagg! I'm so relieved you're not a sock, but you better have a good excuse." Adrien said, "I know why you left, but why the sock thing? And I'm unleashing Zoe upon your cheese unless that excuse is golden."

Plagg gasped in horror, glaring daggers at Zoe, who nodded, "Good to see you've managed to survive your nightmares."

"Quick! Plagg, claws out!"

"Blazze, wings out!" Zoe made a mental note that the fandom would remember this as the first time she transformed in her pajamas—an oversized sky-blue sweatshirt, and grey sweatpants.

They landed on a roof and gasped when they saw people running and screaming everywhere.

"What is this mess?" Cat Noir breathed as Ladybug landed beside them, "M'Lady! Tonight's been a total nightmare… until you showed up." He kissed the top of her hand, causing Fireheart to laugh,

"Not even Ladybug could make the horror that is Dausi be less than awful."

Ladybug blinked, pulling her hand back, "I'll ask about that later, but this is no time for lullabies. We've got to stay focused!" something explodes in the background and Ladybug pointed at Sandboy, who Fireheart had honestly thought was a chick for a moment, "Look! His cloud is shaped like a pillow! I'll bet you anything that's where his akuma is."

"Awesome! Then time for a pillow fight!"

"Wait!" Fireheart shouted as they jumped, "You have hay fever! Pillows can have feathers!"

"That doesn't matter!"

They tried to attack Sandboy, but he dodged each attack with the power of a pillow shooting sand in a somewhat sexual manner.

"You won't be able to fight your worst nightmare for long." He shot sand from his pillow, which exploded once encountering something solid.

"Sucker!" Fireheart announced gleefully, "I already smashed mine with a hammer!" Sandboy didn't seem bothered by this and kept on with his sand.

"He's moving around too much!" Ladybug shouted,

"And his evil sand is blowing everywhere."

"Lucky Charm!" Fireheart was hoping for a fan as a lucky charm, or another large gun, but Ladybug was then hit by the sand, and guess what, no Lucky Charm-item appeared, "Oh, no!"

"Who's about to get a pretty magic jewel?" Sandboy taunted, while Fireheart took a guess at what had happened, rushing the villain while Cat Noir swept Ladybug off her feet, jumping to the ground, joined by Fireheart not long after, who had punched the villain in the face.

"The Sandboy just checked in! Now nightmares can begin!" The fucking sand fell around the trio, and Fireheart couldn't help but sneeze. She was about to groan, because she had heard that little phrase at least fifteen times now, but stopped herself as her eyes widened, because she then realized she had a second deep fear, and there was no way it wouldn't come back to bite her in the ass.

"Stay behind me, M'Lady." Cat Noir guarded Ladybug, swirling his staff expertly, much to Ladybug's shock and Fireheart's relief and worry, because the other option was…

"You still have your powers."

Cat Noir turned to face Ladybug, "Losing mine is not what I'm afraid of." Fireheart nodded to confirm the same for her,

"Then… what?"

The sound of a middle-aged woman's shout was heard, "Cat Noir!" Followed by that of a young girl, age eleven, "Sissie!"

Ladybug looked up, "Huh?" Above them on a rooftop was Ladybug…or…kind of Ladybug…not Miss Fortune, just your average evil Ladybug, Fireheart opted to call her Nightmare Ladybug, and still wondered what was with the middle-aged woman voice. Next to NLB (Nightmare Ladybug) was a girl with short dark blonde—also called light brunette—hair and sea foam green eyes. Eden.

"Bad kitty! I'll never love you!" Nightmare Ladybug shouted, Nightmare Eden adding on,

"I've always wanted to get rid of you, sister!"

Ladybug looked to them, "You guys have weird dreams too."

"My bad." They said in synch, neither as worried as they had been before realizing it was Sandboy's doing; not that this didn't make Fireheart uncomfortable in every way possible, short of sexually.

"I am gonna destroy you." Nightmare Ladybug announced as Nightmare Eden jumped down in a superhero landing—which is so cool, but horrible on your knees—"Lucky Charm!" A sword similar to that of Antibug's appeared.

Nightmare Ladybug jumped down dramatically with her sword, narrowly missing Cat Noir who, along with Ladybug, got shoved out of the way by one flying Nightmare Eden getting chucked by Fireheart's own sword. Ladybug and Cat Noir landed on the road, him _once again_ on top of her.

"Oops. Sorry, M'Lady. Stay behind me, I'll protect you."

"Stay still, you mangy cat! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on." Nightmare Eden got up in a horrifying impression of a zombie,

"Worthless bitch," the nightmare version of her baby sister sneered, "you can't even defeat an eleven-year-old. So why should you be a hero?" Fireheart backed up, she, Ladybug and Cat Noir back to back as NLB, Nightmare Eden and Sandboy attacked from each side.

There was nowhere to go. Then Fireheart got an idea,

"Kitty, LB, I gotta plan, might get us all killed, but if it works, I'll kill three birds with one stone. Kitten, grab my waist and spin me." While a normal person having this conversation would have been killed already, Fireheart and Cat Noir both had a tendency to speak faster than should be possible, when nervous, so it had barely been two seconds. He picked her up and spun in a circle,

"Dragon Flame!" Fire shot out of her hands, sure enough, taking out all three. Only Nightmare Ladybug's sword remained, as well as the boy that was the civilian form of Sandboy.

Cat Noir hit the sword with his baton a couple times, handing a chipped off piece to Ladybug, so she could "Miraculous Ladybug!" And let the cure do its thing. The fist-bumped, "Pound it!"

Fireheart raised an eyebrow, "Question: What was your civilian nightmare?"

"You really don't want to know." She turned to the boy, "Wow, what was that all about, little friend?"

"Oh, Ladybug. I watched a movie on TV. It was kinda scary. And then I went to bed and had a really bad nightmare. I woke up and there was a black butterfly in my room a-and a weird man spoke right in my face."

"Hawk Moth." Ladybug said to nobody in particular, probably just to inform viewers, "He fed of the negative emotion from a nightmare."

"That's what happens when you let kids watch anything they want on TV." Fireheart turned to him,

"Are you saying I shouldn't have shown you _Stranger Things_?"

"Not at one in the morning you shouldn't have!" Fireheart laughed, hearing her choker flash,

"Crap. LB, can you take him home?" She gestured to the boy.

"No problem." She replied cheerfully, "Right, big boy?"

"Yay! Awesome, Ladybug!" Fireheart and Cat Noir were about to go home when Ladybug stopped them, or more specifically, him,

"Cat Noir? You don't really think I'm as evil as your nightmare, do you?"

"'Course I don't. You're the lady of my dreams." He bowed to her, then followed his surrogate sister home.

They got home and released their transformations. Plagg told them he needed to go see Master Fu again, and left quickly, but Blazze stayed.

Zoe took deep breaths, sitting on her bed. In a way, she was glad to have seen Eden. She hadn't had any recent—or recent being the last time she saw her which was who knew how long ago—pictures, so she had slowly began forgetting what her sister looked like. It had started small, like nose shape, or her light freckles, or her jawline, but it had started getting more drastic, losing the perfect shade of her sister's eyes and hair, or her small yet muscular build. She had a photographic memory, but it was selective and needed certain things—such as music—associated with it for it to stick, Eden's appearance had been something she had thought she'd see every day, so it never stuck fully, not needing to. Had Eden changed since seeing her last? Puberty had hit Zoe herself like a truck at Eden's age, as it did all women on their Dad's side of the family, but Eden was closer physically to their mother, so she didn't know. For all she knew, Eden was grown up now. She just hoped her little hermanita was happy.

But seeing the hatred in those sea-foam eyes broke her heart. Did Eden hate her for being gone? Was she happy she was gone? All Zoe knew was this akuma had brought up old wounds, and Gabriel would be getting a punch to the dick for this. Or maybe get his crotch stepped on repeatedly in heels.

She was brought from her musings by feeling Adrien's strong arms around her, pulling her close. Then she realized she had been crying.

"Hey Zo," he said softly, "are you alright?"

She was about to say she was fine and make him go away, but his embrace was just so warm and gentle, and he had unloaded all his shit on her, so would revealing some of her weaknesses return the favor? She slowly shook her head, letting the tears fall.

"I-I…I didn't think it would be like that…" she said simply, "I wasn't ready for that."

"What was that thing?" Adrien asked, "The peacock-spider monster, what was that. Because that thing will haunt my dreams."

So, she explained her long history battling Dausi ("Since you were ten?! Good lord!"), how that being and fear of not being enough was the cause of the nightmares that had been the bane of her existence, and how she tried to avoid latching on to people for fear of losing them.

When she was done, even Adrien was weeping, the two unlikely siblings holding each other, making sure the other wouldn't vanish. For as much as they both tried to hide it behind smiles and jokes, they were both broken, kindred spirits. Maybe that was why she hadn't been placed with Marinette, even though the blunette was the main character of the show—with Adrien being the deuteragonist even though his story had more importance and potential—because the two of them were able to hit it off and mend wounds, or cause and repair them with less severity than in the heat of the moment (see Hawk Moth reveal during final battle).

They fell asleep on the mattress, never once letting go the entire night.

OoOoO

A now thirteen-year-old Eden Carpenter jolted awake. Had that been a dream? It had felt so real.

She had seemed to be in Miraculous Ladybug, but as a bad guy. Ladybug had seemed powerless and Cat Noir was fighting an evil Ladybug, while a third hero faced off with her. She had kept calling the mystery girl "sister" and she had bore a striking resemblance to Zoe. But she had seemed to hate the girl's guts for some reason.

The thought of her sister or that show made her knees weak. She had been planning to watch the second half of season 2 with her best friend, only to come out of the bathroom to broken furniture, glass, windows, and Merlin meowing nervously under a splintered seat. Zoe hadn't been anywhere.

The police had searched for her sister for five months before declaring the trail cold and any chance of finding her lost sister gone.

Then of course, Miraculous delayed the release of not only the other half of season 2, but season 3 as well, because apparently some writer added a new main character with nobody's permission, but the damage was already done, and they had to rewrite everything. They had released episodes on Netflix as they came out, but that was only every now and then, and Eden couldn't bring herself to watch it, wanting to wait for Zoe to come home.

Now though, she felt like she was missing something so very important.

She pulled out her phone—even though it was two in the morning, because she knew the person she was calling was awake—she called Sam. Sam had been one of the last to give up on finding Zoe, only recently declaring she would come back when she was ready and there was nothing they could do, but he still checked with the police for any leads on the case. He too, and his boyfriend, watched Miraculous, and had been trying to convince Eden to watch it.

He picked up almost immediately, _"Eddie, what is it?"_

She chuckled at the nickname, "Sam…I just had a weird dream involving Miraculous and my sister."

" _That's odd. The new episode just came out, involving dreams, and Eddie, you're in it. And Dausi."_

The mention of her sister's imaginary enemy made her freeze, only Sam and herself knew about Dausi. Ever since the new character was added, Miraculous had become a show targeted at teens, but that didn't stop the show from being hugely popular, and even though this new character was dirty, people liked her. But still…

" _Are you telling me you're starting to buy into my theory the mystery writer might have something to do with Zoe's disappearance? Watch the new episodes, you'll see what I mean."_ He hung up at that.

Eden stared at her phone inanely for a moment, before opening Netflix, finding the first new episode, titled _Fireheart_ , and it was forty minutes long. She watched it, and saw exactly what Sam had meant; not only did this character look and act like Zoe, they had the same damn name! Sure, she was voiced by Peyton List, which made her voice sound different, but still.

She watched the rest of the new episodes and there was no doubt in her mind that something was going on.

 **A/N: So this chapter does revolve more around Zoe's past, I know, but I did mention in chapter 2 about the depression and nightmares, so I decided to bring that up again, and this episode was the golden opportunity to do it. Also, each season will have a sequel with Fireheart, like this one will go on until I finish season 2, then season 3 will have a sequel to Fireheart alongside it, and so on until the end of the series.**

 **Also, please spit ideas at me for the other Chinese Zodiac Miraculous powers, and superhero names. Judging by that last part and the fact I mentioned a sequel, how many can correctly guess why?**

 **Anyway, see you guys…sooner than what would count as a hiatus…unless things go to shit.**

 **Speaking of things going to shit, Paula's got the flu. We have this flu going around that only seems to affect the teachers, but my baby sis has fallen victim to it, and we only realized it while cleaning today and found she had a fever. Apparently she has one hell of a poker face, but hasn't been updating because of it—I thought she just had writers block—though she was using a chat earlier so I'm hoping she'll get better soon. And we have family coming over for Thanksgiving…maybe they'll all go away? I really hate most of my extended family.**

 **What is it with my sister and I not maintaining our health? Don't know. But, if Paula's flu does scare away the family—except Grandma, but she doesn't care—then more chapters of stories.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: This chapter is back to comedy, as Zoe/Fireheart gets reversed and you can guess what happened by this episode title. But Warning – Talk of American Politics.**

 **Also, I checked the fandom wiki and discovered the Dragon kwami is really called Longg. I will not be changing Blazze's name. I will use the real names for all the others, but Blazze is Blazze and will forever be that way. Don't hate me.**

 **Chapter 14: In which hell freezes over**

For the first time fucking ever—imaging that line to the melody of "First Time in Forever" from _Frozen_ , it sounds like a crack video—Adrien and Zoe went to fencing! Well, Zoe did the fencing and Adrien just watched, because even though his dominant was not the one broken, he couldn't glove his broken one and as such couldn't fence; not that it didn't stop him from being referee. Zoe and Kagami duked it out, and since this was Zoe's first class, meaning Kagami had slightly expected Adrien's blunt fighting style, she was defeated quickly. D'Argencourt was shocked by this, and thanked Adrien for bringing her. Zoe could fence, and did so often back at home, having won a couple state competitions; she learned by watching others—and shamelessly binging _The Princess Bride_ on loop—and somehow managed to master a quick fighting style, dodging and using false moves to trick her opponent, and don't forget to add fancy flips and tricks for showmanship; it also helped that she was small, so people underestimated her. Always fear the small ones, they're the ones that hit fastest and when you least expect it.

They sat in the car in comfortable silence, watching the news, trying to avoid discussing politics.

"As Mayor Bourgeois will later talk about his new space-dumpster program, protesters gathered under the slogan 'Space is no dump' and are walking towards city hall, causing traffic jams in the center of the city."

Zoe groaned, placing a hand on her face in irritation, having any hope of shit like this not happening here, and remaining in the real world where they belonged, dashed.

"Zo, look." Adrien was pointing to Officer Roger walking outside, shooting with more tasers than he normally had. She made a note that in a not-designated-kids show—not that this show was just for kids, but it had been intended to be like that at first—the officer would be using guns. But why have a gun as a Lucky Charm and not on a civilian? It was unfair, but judging by the current situation, that might be a good thing. She then realized she sounded kind of like Hilary Clinton, and knew her Dad would likely disown her for that, even though Roger was a cop, he still counted as a civilian compared to the superheroes that really did shit around here. She took a moment to wonder what Trump had done since she was gone. Had World War III started yet?

"Hahaha. In the name of the law: Do whatever you want, heh!" Roger ran around some more, and they heard some random person shouting, "The bank, he robbed the bank!"

They both stared out the window, so confused it hurt. They looked to each other as Ladybug flew past Adrien's window, using her yoyo as a grappling hook of the sort to latch on to a large paper airplane.

Adrien purposefully dug around, "Zo, did you pack my fencing gloves?"

"No, why?"

Adrien turned to Gorilla, "Zoe and I forgot my fencing gloves, since traffic's so bad, we'll go get them and catch up with you on foot." Zoe caught on to his plan and followed as they ran off,

"Reverser?"

"Well…" Adrien shrugged, "We just saw a cop rob a bank, so I'd say so." They transformed and bolted to the bridge above the Seine, where Ladybug seemed to have fallen over while Reverser was throwing paper airplanes, while riding a paper airplane, and looked like a piece of origami. Maybe could just use Dragon Flame and light him up like the candles on a birthday cake.

"Awesome costume!" He hit Reverser with his staff, "Too bad we'll have to tear it up!"

Ladybug, meanwhile, struggled to get to her feet, "Ugh."

"Everything okay, LB?" Fireheart asked as Cat Noir continued to try beating the shit out of Reverser.

"So you think you're brave, Cat Noir? From puss to wuss! Reversion!" He threw the paper plane, which the cat-hero in question effortlessly dodged,

"Oh, yeah, I'm so scared. C'mon M'Lady, let's wrap this up."

Fireheart noticed Ladybug failing to move and wondered why, was she hurt? Then she heard something really bed:

"Fireheart, you're always full of sass and confidence, a dangerous opponent. Reversion!" She felt the plane hit her in the back, and felt all self-confidence leave her. She heard Cat Noir gasp, "No!" Only to get hit by one himself. He looked down at the water, "AHHH!"

Reverser looked giddy and smug, "Wassup kitty, got vertigo?"

In a normal situation, Fireheart would have commented that vertigo sucks, but what if these people judged her? She needed to be good.

Cat Noir fled and jumped into Ladybugs arms for defense, taking Fireheart with them as they plummeted into the river.

It was this moment that Fireheart discovered the blade of her sword count retract, and her weapon became an oxygen mask. She and Cat Noir were pulling Ladybug along. At least there was a good use for the sword, because she didn't want to hurt anyone.

They climbed ashore and Ladybug fell on her face again.

"Ah, even swimming is impossible with this curse."

Cat Noir shivered, then sneezed, "Great. Now I'm sure I'm gonna catch a cold." Worry for him spiked and she felt his forehead, then gave him a hug, "It's okay kitten, thanks for helping me with Ladybug."

He looked at her in terror, "You're a cuddly as a cactus, just thanked me and didn't use a nickname for Ladybug." He screamed, "Oh my god! Hell's frozen over! Satan's been tamed! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" He started crying.

Ladybug found support on a concrete block and turned to face them incredulously, "Nobody's going to die. How are we gonna defeat him?"

"What!?" He shrieked, "You wanna face him again? I really don't wanna fight that bad guy. He looks so mean..."

"It's okay," Fireheart assured, then she turned towards Ladybug, "We aren't going to hurt Reverser, are we? I don't want to fight him."

The look Ladybug gave them was 'you have got to be shitting me, the one time—' She took a breath to calm herself,

"We don't have a choice, guys. Reverser is looking for a boy named Nathanael. We've gotta find him before he does. Luckily, I know where to look."

The brother and sister, neither of whom in their right mind, looked towards the stairs, "I can't do it," he announced, "the stairs are too high. It's making me dizzy."

Fireheart guided him over, taking both his and Ladybug's hands to help out, "Come on, little kitty. Here, kitty kitty. That's it, we're good." The got up the stairs as he whimpered, "See? You're gonna be just—" Ladybug fell and toppled onto Fireheart, "Whoa!"

"Ugh." Ladybug groaned, "We're not outta the woods yet."

The worst ten minutes of their lives later

That was by far the worst taxi ride any of the heroes—to be fair, Adrien had never been in a taxi before—had ever had. Cat Noir was whimpering and complaining the entire time, Fireheart was too polite to mention there was a thing called an air freshener, and Ladybug couldn't even get the seatbelt on.

They finally—cue Hallelujah—got to Collège Françoise Dupont. Cat Noir got out of a taxi after Ladybug, followed by Fireheart,

"Woah, you drive like a maniac!"

"Sorry about that," Ladybug apologized, "he's not quite himself right now." She closed the door, her yo-yo getting stuck. She fell back against the taxi, opening the door to retrieve her yo-yo, almost falling while doing so, and then proceeded to trip over her own yo-yo-cord. It was amusing to say the least, but Fireheart couldn't bring herself to laugh, handing the driver a nice tip—nicer than she should have, really, it was more an apology for her brother.

Ladybug crawled up the stairs, bumping into Cat Noir, who had wrapped his blanket around himself; cat burrito is real. They all gawked at the sight before them as their art teacher—though what was his name? Names were something that never stuck with Zoe—throwing art supplies into the courtyard,

"I hate art and music! Let's destroy it all!" The art teacher, Rose and Juleka proceeded to throw around paintings and pieces of paper.

Ladybug held on to the railing, "Reverser got here first!" She looks at a drawing Fireheart was brushing the dirt off of, "Look! The Louvre is in almost every single one of Nathaniel's drawings."

"Does this mean we have to take another cab?" Cat Noir asked in a shaky voice, earning a glare from Ladybug and a sympathetic look from Fireheart.

Another excruciating half hour later

They found Nathanael and Alix ("Huh. Didn't expect that.") and proceeded to show off the news.

"It's been confirmed, ten thousand tons of garbage have just been released from space and are about to rain down on Paris, unless mayor Bourgeois cancels the process, the city will soon be under a mountain of trash. The man behind the chaos: Supervillain Reverser, has given an ultimatum."

"Ladybug, Cat Noir, I command you to deliver Nathanael and Marinette to me, right now! I also demand that you hand over your miraculous!"

"We have to try and talk to him." Ladybug said, "And we're gonna need you, Nathanael! We don't have time to find Marinette."

"I'm coming with you." Alix said.

"No way! It's too dangerous."

Cat Noir took a step away from Ladybug, "Actually, I'll just stay here too, so I don't get in the way…"

Fireheart joined him, not wanting to risk hurting anyone, "And I'll keep him company."

Alix snuck up on them, "BOO!"

Cat Noir jumped into Fireheart's arms out of fear, and she made a mental note to fatten him up even more, because he was pure muscle, baby soft skin, fluffy hair, and was _still_ very underweight. She would need to buy out the Dupain-Cheng bakery a couple times. Because those people were so sweet, they deserved a nice tip. But what if that upset Mr. Agreste? He had been so kind as to take her in... even if he was a supervillain.

She was brought from the musings that would have made her vomit if she were in her right mind by Ladybug growling at them, falling on her face yet again.

Alix offered the Ladybug-heroine a hand, "It looks to me like you're going to need a helping hand."

"You can never get too much help." Cat Noir said eagerly, and Fireheart grinned, "The more the merrier!"

Alix looked towards Nathanael, "Nathanael is my friend. I'm not dropping him."

Good lord, how many taxis will they go through before remembering Fireheart can fly?

They made it to the Eiffel Tower, where the police were for once doing their jobs as the five stepped out of yet another unsuspecting taxi driver's car.

"You're a public health-hazard!" Cat Noir scolded, walking off as the poor helpless taxi driver just looked startled,

"But I never even went over 15 miles an hour."

Fireheart had a suspicion he was referring to the smell of cigarettes, but it could go either way.

"That's strange," Alix mused, looking up, "the stars are out early."

Ladybug gasped at the 'stars' "Those are not stars! The trash is entering the atmosphere. In just a few minutes, it'll be like having a meteor shower, except with dumpsters instead."

Ew. That would hurt so many people! Had she been in her right mind, she would have mentioned that that is one of the most humiliating ways to die. Cat Noir was shivering, and she hugged him as he melted into her embrace more than usual.

"Don't be scared, Cat Noir." Ladybug assured, joining into the hug—read, fell on them and clung—"We can do this." He calmed down, snuggled up with his two favorite women.

"You're right, M'Lady. Our powers may be all screwed up, but we still make a great team."

"Lucky Charm!" A roll of bamboo sticks appeared, it landed on her head, "A bamboo-roll?"

Fireheart raised her hand meekly, "Um…I have a suggestion." Ladybug gestured for her to continue, "Uh…why can't you just use the Miraculous Ladybug now? Then we can take him down with no problem. Worst case, you could transform again and repeat the cycle." She immediately blushed, fiddling with a strand of her hair, "Oh, you're right, it was stupid, I'm sorry."

Ladybug just stared, then threw the Lucky Charm in the air, "Miraculous Ladybug!" The Ladybugs were clearly in WTF mode, but they did reverse the damage, and Fireheart felt sassy again, Cat Noir threw off the blanket and the yoyo didn't give Ladybug a concussion.

The trio grinned at each other and Ladybug grabbed Cat Noir, swinging up the Eiffel Tower while Fireheart flew. They landed on their feet, and Reverser gaped, "How?!"

"My Miraculous Ladybug fixes the damage," Ladybug said, grinning to Fireheart, "And so that's what we did. Fireheart! Now!"

Reverser tried to throw a paper plane, but Fireheart felt insulted he would try that again, "Dragon Flame." She said dryly, letting the flame force out the akuma. Unfortunately, Reverser had been flying around, so Marc was falling.

Cat Noir leapt down the tower, followed by his comrades.

"Alright! Stunt-time." He extended his staff to cling to the metal of the tower, catching Marc in the process. He then lowered them to the ground,

"Cool. Feels good to be ourselves again."

Fireheart gagged, "I was being _polite_! I stood for the smell of cigarettes! I didn't want to touch Reverser for fear of hurting him! I didn't hate on my guardian being a dick to anyone and everyone! WHAT HAS THIS WOULD COME TO?!"

"As I said, Hell froze over." Ladybug actually laughed at that comment, because it was accurate.

Marc and Nathanael made eye-contact and quickly looked away from each other.

"Marc and Nathaniel? By now you realize there was a big misunderstanding, but if you give each other a chance, I'm sure you'll find out how well you can work together."

Nathanael held out his hand, Marc smiled and…was he trying to shake hands, or did this just get gay? Honestly, something about this made Fireheart ship it, even though there is a good chance Nathanael was responsible for the akumatization, with Marinette getting caught in the crossfire or involved in a misunderstanding. But come on, anyone who read the Sarah J Maas books knows this could be worse.

"A bit like you and me, M'Lady." Cat Noir said eagerly, pulling Fireheart into a headlock, "And baby Satan here." He held up a hand to fistbump.

"Pound it!"

OoOoO

The next morning, Nino hadn't gotten to class yet, Marinette beating him—meaning she had gotten to class early—("Holy shit! You were right kitty, Hell's frozen over!") and fell on her face.

Adrien's eyes were sparkling like an anime character, "So graceful…" he whispered, practically breathed, and Zoe blinked at him,

"Uh…bro…shouldn't you help her?"

He snapped out of it and dramatically leapt over his desk to help her up, resulting in them both being giggling, blushing messes.

Yup. Adrien knowing first was a certified disaster. And now to get some kisses and dates…

 **A/N: Can someone tell me why Ladybug never used the Miraculous Ladybug like she did in this chapter. Is there a reason? Don't get me wrong, I will very rarely (if ever) do that again, I just needed to get that question out there.**

 **So, the next chapter will be an OC akuma, because we need a reason for Carapace to show up. It was originally going to be one called Chatterbox, but I moved that one to Season 3, because the power is rather OP, and this new one will be just pure comedy…and Adrienette… And this chapter was shorter, but the next one will be longer like Chapters 10 and 11.**

 **Paula's doing better, but I have had no sleep since I found out she got the flu and got sent to the nurse today for falling asleep in *hehe* five of eight classes. I might get some chapters of various stories out, but I will probably be sleeping like the fucking dead. Also, I found some of Paula's chapters for Next Generation and Rise of Papillon, so I** _ **might**_ **get those out.**

 **And to answer the question, no, nobody in my family is good at taking care of themselves and maintaining health.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: The pop culture references are strong with this one.**

 **Chapter 15: It's Disney Night on Miraculous Ladybug!**

 **(Aka: I break a bunch of copyright rules, but this is a fanfiction, so I can get away with that, Thomas Astruc wouldn't be so lucky; Adrien singing; small animals everywhere; into the woods; Ladybug and Cat Noir out of commission; the debut of Carapace; Zoe becomes a demon lord twice; Chloe grows her hair out; Marc X Nathanael ft. the Little Mermaid; Hawk Moth realizing this was a mistake; and true loves second kiss.) (What is it with me and ridiculously long titles?)**

Zoe knew shit was going to go down the second Adrien started flirting with Marinette with a normal skin tone. Because they were an episode or two away from the Heroes' Day, and this was something Zoe had wondered would happen, because the entire fandom knew deep down that this season would end on a horrible cliffhanger like Season 1. But here they were. So, this obviously meant something amazing or god fucking awful was going to happen. And Zoe decided to only intervene if they showed signed of having sex—especially because she knew Adrien didn't even own any protection, something she made a note to fix, and the odds of Marinette having any was slim to none.

"Hey Marinette," Adrien greeted cheerfully in the locker room between periods. Did he know his surrogate sister had parkoured herself onto the top of a locker with her phone on video mode to watch? No. But that in no way denied it happened.

Marinette turned to him, "Hey Adrien."

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, "Mari…you're an artist, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

Adrien chuckled in relief, "That explains it, because I find myself quite _drawn_ to you."

Before Marinette could wrap her head around what just came out of her crush's mouth, the bell was ringing, and Zoe was dramatically jumping down from the locker, laughing like a maniac, holding up her phone to show off the video to Alya. Adrien sprinted after her, but he was only matching her in speed and she had a head start. Zoe Carpenter Agreste: Big sister and Little sister at the same time.

By the time Adrien go to the classroom, she had already played and texted it to Alya, who was squealing like a fangirl, Chloe was doing a surprisingly good job keeping herself together, #CharacterDevelopment.

Adrien just sat down silently, gradually getting a brighter shade of red, while Marinette walked in, clearly trying to figure out what just happened. Miss Bustier hadn't arrived yet, so they just had to wait calmly.

Then an akuma showed up.

She was a girl no older than ten, wearing a fluffy blue gown with rainbow sparkles, a wand in her hand. She had bright pink hair styled in high pigtails, and a golden butterfly mask covered her black eyes, which twinkled with glee.

"I am Storyteller!" The girl announced, "And today is the night of fairy tales!"

Zoe blinked, "Like…Grim Fairy tales, with the little mermaid turning to sea foam with her tongue cut off, and sleeping beauty getting raped in her sleep?" She earned a disgusted look from the little girl,

"Ew. No. Why would you think that?" Storyteller smirked, "Allow me to demonstrate." She fired her wand at Adrien, picking him up with her power, and sent him flying to the back of the room. Everyone gasped, and backed away, as Zoe lunged, a very sharp pencil in hand—because she had had a classmate who got stabbed in the heart with a sharp pencil so that had taught her an important lesson—

"Oh no you didn't, you little shit!" Storyteller dodged barely, getting a slash across her bicep, which bled out for a minute, before healing over.

"A warrior willing to kill, hmm," Zoe couldn't dodge as she herself was flung to the back of the room, when their classmates sprinted out. She sat up and saw Adrien staring at her, completely fine, but wearing a white tunic and black pants, then she looked down and saw…she grinned at what she saw.

She was wearing a black and red body suit, and she had lots to wild, spiky, jet-black hair that flowed to her naval. In her hand was a literal Keyblade, Void Gear. She laughed, as Storyteller blinked at her, unsure of what she was. Zoe had become Vanitas—or Vanita if she was feeling honest with herself.

"You just made a mistake." Zoe again lunged, this time launching blue lightning from her fingertips. Storyteller was thrown out the window and flew down to the courtyard with fairy wings that were so close to transparent Zoe hadn't seen them before. She grinned and helped Adrien up,

"Oh brother of mine, I feel so badass!"

"Time to transform, as fun as this is." Adrien mused, "Plagg, claws out!" Nothing happened. "Claws out?" Still nothing. They were both panicked as Zoe tried, "Blazze, wings out!" Nothing.

Suddenly, two tiny fairies appeared, one was pale with fraying black wings, black hair and big green eyes, while the other had golden eyes matching Zoe's own, fiery red hair and black horns.

Adrien and Zoe looked to each other in alarm. They couldn't transform.

"Perform the inheritance ceremony." Adrien begged, "I need a method of defense!" Zoe held the blade out of him,

"In your hand, take this Key. So long as you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking, its wielder you shall one day be. And you will find me, friend—no ocean will contain you then. No more borders around, or below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love."

"Really? Needed to get all fancy?" He took the blade, and then handed it back to her, "We'll see, I guess."

They walked downstairs calmly, to find utter chaos.

People were running around as various Disney characters—for example, Nathanael had a green fish tail and a purple shell necklace, while Marc was dressed like Prince Eric, little mermaid.

"Mari! Alya! Chloe! Nino!" Adrien called, and the four in question came… actually, Ladybug was helping Chloe, while Nino and Alya came over together. It seemed Nino and Ladybug hadn't been hit yet, but Chloe and Alya had been. For starters, Alya had lost her glasses and looked like Princess Jasmine, while Chloe was dressed as and had the hair of Rapunzel—all seventy feet of it. The two dragged it along, heaving and hoeing, so Zoe helped out.

"Adrien!" Nino ran to his friend and hugged him, "You're alright."

"Yeah." Adrien nodded, revealing his wrist, which had had the cast removed and replaced with a brace, but even the brace was gone now, and he could use it with no problem, "But I have no idea what I'm supposed to be."

Alya crossed her arms at Zoe, "And what are you?"

"A genderbend of Vanitas from the _Kingdom Hearts_ franchise, which is, yes, a Disney game."

"Okay…" Ladybug mused, "What can you do? Because it seems everyone is limited to only what their character knows."

"That isn't a problem then," Zoe smirked, her voice going almost robotic like Siri, "Vanitas is, to say the least, a skilled and extremely aggressive opponent. He is swift and agile, able to perform complicated and impossible acrobatic feats such as jumping from a high cliff while landing squarely on his feet. He can teleport behind opponents at high speeds to launch attacks while leaving after-images of himself to confuse them, also known as the bitchy counter." Everyone was gawking at her, short of Adrien and Chloe, who already knew this. She continued,

"He is also able to combine physical combos with magic such as attacking from above and causing a large pillar of ice to shoot out of the ground or attacking opponents from below while bombarding them with fireballs. He can also leap into the air and fire dark lightning bolts. He appears to have superhuman endurance, surviving most of his battles while taking little to no bodily damage, able to make instant recoveries. Vanitas also seems to possess superhuman strength. Vanitas is also a difficult opponent to fight in close combat, as he can quickly counterattack if struck multiple times, making him very dangerous. He also demonstrates the ability to levitate."

"Anything else?" Nino asked, "Because you have already been dubbed the fighter of our group." Zoe nodded,

"Vanitas' arguably most dangerous and destructive ability, however, is the power to create and control the Unversed. As he was born from the purest form of darkness, Vanitas can manipulate negative emotions and spawn them as Unversed. He can absorb the negativity of any defeated Unversed, able to summon them if needed. But according to the novels, the destruction of each Unversed causes him physical pain. Because of that, I will likely not use that ability."

They stared at her, until Alya spoke,

"So, you're just OP as hell, and should trust everything to you and Ladybug."

"Yup. And I get to look fabulous doing it." She flipped her hair accidentally seductively, her golden eyes twinkling, "And now, we should go find Storyteller, so I can key-beam her in the face."

"What are you supposed to be?" Chloe asked Adrien, who shrugged, "Don't know."

"I'm guessing he's a genderbend, because that is clearly possible, with Nathanael and myself to demonstrate it. What I have narrowed it down to is one of the earlier Disney movies, maybe Cinderella?" She had honestly expected the Cheshire Cat, but hey, this worked too.

"Well, off we go." Ladybug announced.

They trudged through Paris, which was quickly turning into thick woodlands, birds and wildlife everywhere.

Along the way, they found a couple children to braid Chloe's hair, as well as Zoe's, because while it was shorter, it was getting in the way. Both women now had braided ponytails. They still had no idea who Adrien was supposed to be.

"Hey Zo," Adrien mused, "Who do you think my father would be?"

"Tamlin from _Court of Thorns and Roses_ , specifically Mist and Fury, and Wings and Ruin, no question."

"That's not Disney." Alya corrected.

"True, but if it wasn't only Disney, I wouldn't be wrong. And _Deadpool_ is Disney, so it isn't that far of a stretch."

Nobody could argue with that.

" _I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream..."_ Adrien sang quietly to himself, skipping off into the woods, and began conversing with some birds. Well, any hope of him not being an early Disney Princess was down the drain, so that left Alice, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, and those last two both sang about dreams so…

"God, I'm so fucking done with this shit…" Chloe moaned, "I'm trying to be a better person, but I'm dragging like sixty pounds of hair, barefoot, in the woods. I have no idea how Rapunzel did this."

"Fair." Zoe muttered, "But my boots are amazing. It feels like I'm walking on air."

"That's because you're a honed warrior." Alya retorted, "And I'm stuck in a bikini. I don't even get my tiger."

"Ah!" Adrien yelped, and they all turned to him as his clothing changed right before their eyes. The worn white tunic was significantly fancier, with a blue sash and matching blue pants; on his head was a small golden crown. He looked up,

"So… I'm a prince?" This did not narrow down anything. Both Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty wore blue.

"Meh." Zoe shrugged, swatting off a random monster, "I'm done trying. Let's just keep you away from clocks and spinning wheels."

They continued to walk until the sun went down—they were lost af because the whole of Paris was some sort of enchanted forest, not to mention the impairments of their companions and the occasional monster, which made the trip in search of Storyteller a lot harder than it should have been. Adrien looked towards an old building that had likely aged a lot in the last couple hours, "I gotta use the restroom, I'll be back in five."

Five passed, then ten, then Zoe realized exactly who Adrien was supposed to be upon seeing the sunset and sprinted in, followed by the others,

"Adrien! Where are you!? Adrien!"

They ran through a hallway and up a set of stairs, until they sat a glowing spinning wheel, and Adrien crumpled into a heap on the ground. Seeing the sight of him unmoving on the ground gave Zoe flashbacks of Style Queen, causing her to throw up in her mouth, and an Unversed appeared. Nino ran to his best friend's side as the others gasped. He tried to shake him awake,

"Adrien? Adrien! Open your eyes!"

Blood continued to trickle from Adrien's finger, Zoe shook her head, blood boiling and darkness flowing around her, following by the creation of roughly a dozen more Unversed. Nino just picked his friend up, trying to avoid stepping on the monsters filling up the room.

"We—We should get him back to the school." Ladybug gasped out, not liking seeing him like this any more than the next guy.

The trek back to the school wasn't as long, because Chloe had had the common sense to leave a trail of breadcrumbs Hansel and Gretel style, and Adrien was moved to Zoe, who had superhuman strength.

They found their classmates as various Disney characters, Nathanael was in a small pool of water in the library. Everyone gasped upon seeing Adrien, and they all began working together to create a bed for him, in true Sleeping Beauty fashion. Rose—or TinkerBell—folded his hands over his chest and put a rose in them.

"We'll watch over him." Kagami—or Mulan/Ping—promised.

"There you are Ladybug," They all whirled around and saw Storyteller, "For the life of me, I cannot find your little friends."

Zoe charged, and Storyteller tried to hit her, but she performed the bitchy counter, freezing in place and teleporting behind her opponent, cutting from behind, chunks of ice appearing.

They were back in the courtyard now, where all their capable classmates were fighting. Fortunately, through some miracle, Sabrina was Black Widow and was capable of kicking ass.

Nino fought using a sword granted to him by…someone…who fucking knew?

"Lucky Charm!" Ladybug shouted as Storyteller went to hit Zoe again, but it was merely as distraction and the akumatized girl turned and hit Ladybug just as the Lucky Charm—a spotted copy of the Miracle Box—fell onto the ground. Ladybug was suddenly dressed like Prince Phillip, which made Zoe cackle in true Vanitas fashion. She dove and grabbed the box.

"Ha ha ha! Defenseless now, aren't you Ladybug. Give me your Miraculous!" Storyteller went for the Miraculous, only for Nino to shove her out of the way. Storyteller shrugged, "No matter. Hyenas! Attack!"

"Really?" Zoe groaned, launching her lightning and fireballs, diving into the ground to take out a couple more. Storyteller stared at her as the butterfly symbol appeared,

"And you are by far too dangerous." She fired and hit Zoe in the side just as she was emerging from the ground, sending her flying back again.

But she was unsure if this was more hilarious and deadly.

Because she was wearing Deadpool's suit.

Her hair was once again shorter and brunette, and she noted she wasn't deformed or anything, but she did have two pistols.

Storyteller clearly just realized how much of a mistake that was.

Zoe fired one of the guns, taking out three hyenas in one go, blood and gore spraying everywhere. If this show hadn't upped its rating before, it had now, and in a Disney episode no less. She noted she had eleven bullets left. Time to count them down.

She fired some more, flipping over a fallen little pig monster from Sleeping Beauty, firing her gun this time at a couple little coconut pirates from _Moana_. 10.

Storyteller had definitely comprehended what a horrible mistake this was, Hawk Moth too, as she was retreating, but not before having some of the undead from _Thor: Ragnarok_ take Ladybug hostage.

"No!" Zoe fired the gun again, "Nine! Eight!" missing Storyteller by a hair. She escaped. Zoe huffed, "Bad Deadpool." She took one step backwards, blowing the brains of a stormtrooper. "Seven." She shrugged, even though her father would be ashamed of her for killing one of the true good guys of Star Wars, "Good Deadpool." She ran to where Nino was unconscious on the ground, having hit his head on the concrete. She checked him over quickly. Other than an obvious concussion, he was fine, unhit still.

But she needed to hurry, because Hawk Moth was going to win anytime now.

She pulled Nino up and threw him over her shoulder, sprinting to Master Fu. It was difficult still, but since she had tied Nino to her back, she could jump from trees, finding the elderly guardian's home up in a tree. Of course.

"Master Fu!" She shouted, announcing her presence, "Ladybug's been captured, Adrien went the way of Sleeping Beauty, and not only can't I transform, I got separated from Plagg and Blazze!" That one had been unfortunate, and she and Chloe had only realized it on the trek back to the school after Adrien went under.

"We're fine." Plagg announced, crossing his arms grumpily, before inhaling and piece of cheese.

Master Fu looked her up and down, "But I'm guessing you've been handling yourself just fine." She nodded as her was about to run to the Miracle Box, seeing the Lucky Charm at her hip.

Suddenly, she got an idea. They still needed Carapace… "Stop! I need _your_ Miraculous!"

Master Fu stared at her in shock for a moment, before nodding to Wayzz, who entered the Miraculous. The elderly guardian held a hand over Nino, and the DJ regained consciousness,

"Ugh…ow…" He sat up, rubbing his head, "Zoe…you're Deadpool now."

"You are correct." She sucked in a breath, "Nino, would you do anything to save Adrien, anything at all? Including keep a secret from even Alya?"

Nino looked confused, "I would do anything to protect Adrien and Alya. But what secret?"

Master Fu nodded to her, so she bent down, "Nino…I'm not really a family friend of Gabriel's. I'm a teenage girl from a world where all this is a television show; Master Fu is the guardian of the Miraculous, and he gave me the Dragon Miraculous, becoming Fireheart. He also altered Gabriel's memories to think I am a family friend." She held out the turtle bracelet, "Here is the Miraculous of the Turtle, granting the wielder the power of protection. Will you help me?"

Nino stared at her blankly, before throwing his head back, laughing. For a moment, she was worried he thought she was joking, but his words proved otherwise,

"Oh my god! Alya thought I was crazy when I suggested that!" He took deep breaths, "Is Adrien Cat Noir? Because there is no way he doesn't know, and I have heard you mention fandoms and ships to him. I told Alya that you either had to be a physic or an alien that knew everything. And there was no way you weren't Fireheart, who else is brunette with blue eyes and more willingness to act upon murderous urges than anyone else? Also, you just happened to have an axe in your bag, and Adrien was not the slightest bit surprised when Style Queen came around; and at the same time, Fireheart and Cat Noir are nowhere to be found? I don't think so."

"Oh…yeah…he's Cat Noir, and yeah, he knows. So does Chloe, but that one was an accident. And I'll have you know I keep a dagger in my bag all the time." Nino just rolled his eyes, not surprised at all, taking the Miraculous from her, for Wayzz to appear.

"Woah! It's like a genie in a bottle." Zoe chortled at the reference to _Origins: Part 1._ Did Nino know he was saying pretty much the same thing as Adrien?

"As much as I want you two to get to know each other, Hawk Moth could win any moment now. So let's get on with it."

"All you have to do is say: Wayzz, shell on."

Nino nodded, and proceeded to have the most epic transformation known to man. While Zoe's own was like Elsa switching into her ice queen dress, Nino went all out.

Carapace looked down at himself, "Awesome! Come on!" Zoe looked to Plagg and Blazze, "Meet us back with Adrien, he's back at the school." Carapace picked her up to save time as the kwamis turned pixies nodded, and bounced across the trees, where they saw the literal Disney Castle from Disneyworld.

"Huh…why isn't Adrien there? It's supposed to be Sleeping Beauty's castle."

Carapace rolled his eyes, "I see why Adrien likes you. And I expect a full explanation as to who you are. But for right now, that box and Ladybug is the only hope of saving Alya and Adrien."

"Alya?"

"She…got turned into a frog. Juleka's watching over her."

They gently landed onto a roof, and looked in through a skylight, where Ladybug was chained to the floor, her yoyo a sword and shield a meter or two away from her. Storyteller seemed to be monologuing her to death, typical villains; she had Ladybug out on a platter, and the odds of her shutting up were one in ten.

"Okay…what's the plan?" Carapace asked, "Because you don't have your powers, and we need to protect that box to reverse everything so Ladybug can purify the akuma."

"I can heal from anything, mastered martial arts, can shoot from a hell of a distance, and can use the samurai swords on my back. I think I'm good." She giggled, "Here's the thing, my plans are like that of Aelin Galanthynius—insane and suicidal—so I doubt you'll like it."

"My best friend is in a slumber supposedly never to awaken and my girlfriend is a frog, I don't think I'll be arguing."

"Okay then. For once in my life I thank my mother for forcing me to learn architecture. If I can get Storyteller or her minions to hit against the walls at the corners and middle, the place should go crashing down, then I need you to use your protection power to cover us. The akuma has to be in her wand. But no matter what, protect Ladybug, as long as I don't get hit again, I'll be fine even if I get blown up."

"That's not comforting, and that plan does not sound nearly as bad as I imagined. Let's do it, dude."

Zoe chuckled, "You do know that's what my Dad always called me, right? So he wouldn't embarrass me when I got older."

"Cute. And I'm guessing he isn't really dead."

"Nope, at least I don't think so, you never know with politics these days; everyone hates the U.S right now. But let's go. You save Ladybug, I'll do the rest."

Carapace looked back to where Ladybug was very clearly bored out of her mind, and wriggling out of her chains, "What if I get hit?"

"Why do you think I had you be a turtle? It seems we only get turned into main characters, and the only turtle character I can even think of are the turtles from _Finding Nemo_ , which are secondary characters. That, and you have a shield that can block anything."

"Right." He opened the skylight and leapt down, proceeding to block a blow from Storyteller while Zoe crept down, behind them, and to where the small enemies were, directly outside the room. Then were all nodding off, or not paying attention.

"Attention! No sleeping on the job! So, I guess I'll just have to kill you." She had her swords and six bullets left, so she whipped out the former and started slicing and dicing. She hoped these weren't civilians she was cutting down like blades of grass, but hopefully the Miraculous Ladybug would reverse it like Style Queen in the event it was.

But this was doing what she wanted it to, as she leapt around the walls, and the various monsters shot at her with arrows and magic, while the hyenas rammed their heads into the walls, but it was making a hell of a lot of noise, which was bound to get Storyteller's attention. In the words of Star from _Star vs. the forces of Evil_ : "Oh no! Everything's going according to plan!"

As if on cue, Storyteller blasted through the door, "Hey! What are you doing to my castle?!"

"Not your castle anymore, bitch!" The last of the foundation came down, "Carapace! NOW!"

Carapace appeared, Ladybug behind him. He threw his arm with the shield up, "Shellter!" A giant green bubble came into existence, protecting them from the falling rubble, leaving them in a ruin.

Storyteller shrieked, looked at the ruined castle, "You bitch!"

"Hey! Watch your language!" Zoe ran at her, doing an epic spin in the air, snatching the wand and snapping it. She could have sworn she heard Ladybug mutter "hypocrite" under her breath. She snapped the wand and the akuma flew out, so she quickly threw up the box, "Miraculous Ladybug!" Because why the hell would it work for only her and not someone else? Everything reverted to normal and Zoe found herself back in her grey sweater with the words "World's okayest sister" printed on the front, and dark grey jeans. Ladybug was back to normal as well.

Ladybug quickly caught and purified the akuma, releasing it. Then her counter finally began. Zoe assumed the reason it hadn't started yet was because she had been hit, so the timer froze, but was starting back up when the curse was removed.

Zoe turned and saw a little raven-haired girl with chocolate brown eyes, she turned to Carapace, "Carapace, can you take her home?" She approached and whispered in his ear—standing on her tiptoes, still much shorter than him, "Give me back your Miraculous afterward."

Carapace nodded, looking towards the girl, "Come on kiddo, let's get you home."

Ladybug crossed her arms, "He knows, doesn't he?"

"About me being Fireheart? Yes. So do Adrien and Chloe." Ladybug tugged at her hair, "Does Alya know?!"

"No. And Chloe found out by accident, I needed to tell Nino, and Adrien knows two plus two is four."

Ladybug just sighed as they snuck into an alleyway and walked back to the school, where Nino was waiting, an arm wrapped around Alya, but everyone was crying.

"What's wrong?" Zoe asked, then gasped when she saw why.

Adrien hadn't woken up.

His clothing had gone back to normal, but he was still in the surprisingly nice makeshift bed, with a rose in his hands. But his breathing was even and he was clearly sound asleep.

"No…" Marinette breathed, her eyes getting watery, "No!"

Zoe, meanwhile, had figured out exactly how this was going to go. It was like the Season 1 finale of _Once Upon a Time_ —a series that should have ended at at _least_ season 5 in her personal opinion—when Henry died after eating the poison apple, and Emma kissed him, breaking the spell even though he was thoroughly dead. There was no way that wasn't how this would work.

She smirked, pulling out her phone and stealing Alya's. "Mari, you were turned into Prince Phillip, like, Aurora's true love. Hint hint." Marinette stared blankly at her, and she groaned,

"Really? Do I need to spell it out for you?" She only got a demonstration of Marinette's shrugging and blinking skills, so she began to sing the tune of _Kiss the Girl_ ,

" _There you see him,_

 _Sleeping there across the way_

 _He don't got a lot to say_

' _Cause he's in a damn coma_

 _And you don't know why_

 _But you're dying to try_

 _You wanna kiss the boy"_ everyone in the room—mostly Adrienette shippers, let's be honest—understood what their odd friend was doing, and were trying to hold in laughter at how accurate it was and how she was fucking up the lyrics,

" _Yes, you want him_

 _Look at him, you know you do_

 _I'm positive he wants you too_

 _There is one way to prove it_

 _It don't take a word_

 _Not a single word_

 _Go on and kiss the boy"_ She looked to the others, who joined in,

"Sing with me now"

" _Sha la la la la la_

 _My oh my_

 _Look like the girl's too shy_

 _Ain't gonna kiss the boy_

 _Sha la la la la la_

 _Ain't that sad?_

 _Ain't it a shame?_

 _Too bad, she's gonna miss the boy."_ Zoe then stopped singing and spoke quickly, "Because he'll be fucking dead!"

Marinette was blushing furiously, looking at Adrien's sleeping form, "D-Do you think it would work."

"I would safely bet all of Gabriel's fame, fortune, money and land. Do it." Everyone else cheered her on and Marinette bit her lip, as Alya forced a bunch of Chapstick on her. Then Marinette slowly bent down—meanwhile Zoe was taking a video, _Once Upon a Dream_ by Lana Del Rey playing in the background—and brushed her lips against Adrien's ice-cold ones, because it was fucking freezing in this room because someone forgot to turn on the heater in the fall.

The response was instant. Adrien's eyes fluttered open and Marinette jumped back before he could see his savior.

But that didn't stop everyone from celebrating.

If any of you have seen those crack videos where that group of people is freaking the fuck out, usually during the LadyNoir kiss of _Dark Cupid_ , with _My heart will go on_ by Celine Dion, from _Titanic_ , playing in the background; you will know exactly what happened as Adrien sat up. If not, go search for that, and you'll see what I mean.

Zoe whipped out a microphone as everyone cheered and screamed

" _You're here, there's nothing I fear!_

 _And I know that my heart will go on_

 _We'll stay forever this way_

 _You are safe in my heart_

 _And my heart will go on and on!"_

Adrien blinked, then blinked again, clearly wondering what the hell he just woke up to. Zoe grinned, "Hey bro! Guess what? You were woken from an eternal slumber by your true love! And I will not tell you who until you pay up!"

Adrien glared, "God fucking damnit Zoe! Does your evil know no bounds?!"

"I'm not evil, I just don't give shits. And I want more food."

Adrien just groaned, getting tackled by hugs from his friends. Nino hugged Adrien, and slipped Zoe the Miraculous.

…

Hawk Moth stared out the window, still traumatized by what he had seen his ward do. That girl was way to dangerous, and this was the second akuma she had taken down, as a civilian no less! Both times because Adrien had been in danger, and while Gabriel understood, that did not make it any less disturbing. And that had been in no way what he had expected when akumatizing that girl.

"That was a mistake."

 **A/N: I'm so sorry. That's all I can say.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Warning – This is very little like** _ **Frozer**_ **, only the ice rink and the villain himself. The rose thing didn't happen, and Luka and Kagami are in no way involved.**

 **Also, Paula's fine, but is using her lingering cough to get our relatives to go away. I'm currently hiding in this abandoned closet full of shit except a small section in the back where I'm living off stale chocolate and watching YouTube with my one cousin who hasn't either physically hurt me or made me want to murder him. My family is kind of fucked up, living in a world where I'm oldest and also smaller than the two boys a couple months younger.**

 **Anyway, chapter 16!**

 **Chapter 16: She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me—shit, a villain (and the debut of Jeremy the Hamster… yeah, Jeremy, not a** _ **Phineas and Ferb**_ **reference, I swear.)**

 **And we also get Zoe's ringtones revealed and learn she can wingwoman two people at the same time.**

Contrary to what she had said before, she did tell Adrien the identity of his savior almost immediately after getting home. He, like everyone in the class, freaked the fuck out and rejoiced and screamed and giggled in glee—it was adorable, really, even though this proved he was the definition of a hopeless romantic.

"Marinette kissed me. Her lips, were on mine." He breathed, putting a hand to his lips, almost like he was trying to remember the feeling even though he was effectively brain-dead when it happened—though he had kind of melted into a puddle of goo and giggles so maybe he was still brain-dead.

"Yes. We have established this." Zoe muttered, having autopiloted while reading _Catwoman_ by Sarah J Maas—because she would forever read that woman's books—because this was normal now and unless he wanted to talk to her instead of himself while waiting for her input, and there is a difference, she would just let him be.

Suddenly, her phone went off.

" _Buzz buzz! Buzz buzz! I'm a fucking bee, motherfucker, imma sting you! Buzz buzz!"_

Zoe looked up from her book as Adrien was brought out of his daydreams to gawk at the phone,

"Hey Chlo."

" _Did you tell Adrien?"_ Yeah, after Chloe learned Adrien was head over heels for Mari, and Zoe showed her the umbrella scene—like every good Adrienette shipper should keep in their camera roll—she herself became an Adrienette shipper. It turned out the blonde girl did care more for Adrien's happiness than her own desire for him, that had seemed to fade by now and turn into sincere friendship. Chloe was still a bitch, was she was getting there.

"You know I did. He's freaking out and musing about marriage, you know, the usual."

Chloe giggled, _"Call me if he gets the courage to ask her out."_

"I'd call Alya first, but I will. Okay, Adrien's silent, I should worry, got to go." She hung up and saw Adrien staring at her.

"Is that seriously your ringtone for Chloe?" He asked, earning a nod from the slightly younger girl—Adrien had turned fifteen two months prior, having a small party at school so Gabriel wouldn't find out; Zoe would turn fifteen on the Heroes' Day, so Gabriel planned to celebrate it during the charity ball neither teen wanted to attend.

"Yes. I'm trying to find a Ladybug themed song for Marinette, but I might use the _Miraculous_ theme song, because I have that in voice memos. I have one for Alya, Nino and you."

Adrien pulled out his phone and called her, to reveal her ringtone for him was _Everybody wants to be a Cat_ by Charles Perry. He laughed, "Fitting."

"Yup." She proceeded to show Nino's ringtone— _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_ theme song—and Alya's— _What does the fox say_.

He laughed, "Let me guess, Nino's Carapace."

"You actually wondered otherwise? And he knows who I am and wants an explanation."

Adrien just facepalmed, "Is it even a secret anymore?"

She waved her arm nonchalantly, "Hey, only a collective of four people know, not counting myself. That isn't too bad. Now if Gabriel or Natalie found out, that would be _really_ bad."

He nodded, sitting down beside his pseudo-sister, "I want to ask Marinette out."

"FUCKING FINALLY! YOU'VE KNOWN FOR LIKE A MONTH NOW AND ONLY TODAY DO YOU SAY THOSE WORDS!" She turned on one of the many, many, many versions of _Hallelujah_. Adrien just facepalmed, "You're going to whip that out all the time."

"Nah. Then the joke will get old. Now I'm just going to use it when I'm feeling down."

Adrien laughed, "True enough. Anyway, do you have any ideas?"

OoOoO

Zoe followed Adrien as he walked into school during the lunch break the next day, Marinette coming a couple seconds later.

"Hey Marinette," Adrien stammered, "Can I talk to you?" Not waiting for the inevitable yes, he led her to a bench, "Okay, well, I'm sorry this is a bit awkward for me, cause… well… it's about a girl." He blushed.

"A girl?" Marinette asked either nervously or beyond excited.

"Yeah," he continued, "we see each other all the time because we study together, you know until recently, "By that I mean like a month. She's special, very pretty, so talented… I didn't have the courage to ask her out until the Sleeping Beauty thing."

Now Marinette was bursting with excitement, "Do I know her?"

Adrien looked to her, cupping her hands in his, "Mari…. Would you go out with me?"

Marinette squealed, hugging him tightly, "YES!"

Zoe made herself known by snapping like three hundred pictures in the span of two seconds, "Great! Where're we going? And before you argue, I am the photographer, wingwoman, and third wheel extraordinaire. Think of me as the Shawn to your Gus. You both would be stupid to not see this coming."

Marinette and Adrien just laughed, both had likely been expecting this.

"How about the ice rink?" Marinette suggested.

"It's decided!" Adrien grinned, kissing her hand, "Three hours after school?"

"That works!" Both were filled to the brim with glee, so neither noticed Zoe run off to report her success to the class.

"Guys!" She cheered, running in, "Guess who just asked Mari out!"

"Who do I need to kill?" Alya asked, cracking her knuckles, Zoe grinned,

"First of all, if it wasn't this person, the dude would already be dead." She showed off her phone, because Adrien and Marinette's love life was all of the class' business, "Adrien and Mari are going to the ice rink after a romantic walk and I will be watching it all. Keep your phones ready in case I need backup. And Chloe, don't be a bitch, we can't have any akumas ruin the moment." She growled as the class laughed at how accurate she was, cheering at the date,

"Agh! It's like a cellphone going off in a theater, god I hate that!" She made a phone gesture with her hand and put it to her left ear, "Hello. How are you doing?" She swapped to her right ear, "Oh, I'm in the theater, ruining the moment, how about you?" Left ear, "Oh I couldn't make it out tonight, so I thought I'd just _ruin the moment by proxy_!" She had shrieked the last part and Kim fell out of his seat, clutching his stomach, laughing hysterically.

The laughter died when Adrien and Marinette came in, neither even the slightest bit surprised. Because they had discovered with the addition of Chloe and Sabrina, everyone in the class was in the Adrienette fan club.

Alya practically leapt over her desk to take Adrien's normal spot next to Zoe, who scooted over so Alya was sandwiched between Zoe herself and Nino. DJWiFi and Adrienette in one hour! Fucking jackpot.

Miss Bustier came in sometime during that, and was clearly not willing to argue, lest she face the wrath of her students—and she too was an Adrienette shipper, so she didn't mind.

OoOoO

Zoe walked to Marinette's house after school got out. She had had to go take an unexpected trip, because Adrien was having a panic attack, so she was pulling the best card she could think of.

Tom and Sabine let her up to Marinette's room, both with knowing smiles upon seeing what she was carrying.

"Hey Mari! It's your favorite third wheel here."

Marinette turned, "Zoe? What are you doing here? And what are you carrying?"

Zoe pulled up the cage she was carrying and ripped off the cloth to reveal a white hamster with brown spots.

"Here is a token of my blessing. You and Adrien both have a thing for hamsters, so I went and got one. Myself and the rest of the fandom support you and your hamster child." She took the hamster out of the cage and put the cage on a small table, while the small rodent was now in Marinette's hands, "Meet Jeremy the hamster. Yeah, sorry about the name, the pet store wouldn't let me get him unless I gave him a name, so I named it Jeremy. No, not a _Phineas and Ferb_ reference, I just thought of the name of my stuffed llama as a child."

Marinette squealed, "Oh my god! You know me so well!" She looked up, "Adrien loves hamsters? YES!" She put Jeremy back in his cage. "Thank you for helping me get with Adrien."

"No problem." She smirked, "He was in denial about his crush until I showed him every scene when he said you're just a friend, and the umbrella scene. Here is his reaction." She pulled out her phone, with his reaction, having removed everything about Ladybug, which made it slightly choppy, but not so much so to make it obvious."

Marinette blushed, "He really thinks I'm so special?"

"Trust me Mari, he'd die for you."

That made Marinette's mood darken, "What about Cat Noir?"

"He already knows about this and supports it." She answered, having expected that to come up at least once, "He loves you, but wants you to be happy more than anything." Truth. But he was also Adrien so that wasn't an issue. Zoe found the best way to deceive someone was to tell them the truth, and while she did want Marinette to know, she didn't want to affect the dynamic of their trio of superheroes with Ladybug stuttering like an idiot around him. Once she saw the Cat Noir side of Adrien and was 100% capable of not stuttering—something she was getting better about since the Adrien found out about her crush and had started acting more like his alter ego—then they'd talk. But this worked for now.

Tikki was busy examining Jeremy, who was drinking water casually.

"Thank you, Zoe." Marinette smiled, looking through her closet, "I want to do something for you. Things have been a lot easier. How about I set you up? What's your type?" She then turned, "No, really, you have almost every guy in school wrapped around your pinky finger, what even is your type?"

"None of them, I'll tell you that." Zoe thought about it, "I can't have a guy who only bends to my will, I want someone who has an equally strong will. And he can't be blonde, I'm sorry, but my mother's entire side of the family is blonde, and it just kills the vibe for me."

Marinette sighed in relief, "I'm guessing that's why you've never hit on Adrien or Cat Noir."

"He is in no way my type. Cat Noir same goes." She stood up, "Enough about me, let's get you ready for your date." She hummed quietly to herself, before selecting a short pink dress with back ruffles on the bottom. Pulling out some makeup, she proceeded to do over her blunette friend.

By the time she was done—thank you, theater—Marinette was wearing light lipstick, gentle blue eyeshadow and slight mascara; her hair was curled and down, and she was wearing the dress with beige tights and black flats.

Then her ringtone for Adrien went off, "Hey kitty." Marinette gawked at her, thinking she was talking to Cat Noir, which she technically was, "What's up?"

" _HELP! I JUST REALIZED I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO ICE SKATE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR AND WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME BECAUSE I ACT TOO MOCH LIKE CAT NOIR AND-AND—ZOE I DON'T THINK I'M BRAVE ENOUGH TO DO THIS! PLEASE HURRY!"_ Zoe had had to lower the volume to almost muted so Marinette wouldn't hear and her own eardrums wouldn't burst,

She let him continue to ramble while she spoke, "Okay, so Adrien's having a panic attack, okay, alright, keep him breathing steadily, and make sure he doesn't die from hyperventilating to death. He'll be fine, okay, cool, see you in ten." She hung up and turned to Marinette, "Cat Noir's playing wingman, but Adrien's flipping the fuck out because contrary to what the world believes, he has an alarming self-esteem issue."

"Wait…if Cat Noir knows Adrien and I are going on a date, and he knows Ladybug is Adrien's date, then… does he know?!"

"Umm…no." Zoe answered eventually, not having thought about that outcome, "He knows you're going on a date, and that Adrien's going on a date with Marinette, but doesn't know that Adrien's the one going on a date with Ladybug. God fucking damn my brain hurts from saying that." She got up, "Anyway, unless you want Adrien to pass out, I gotta go. See you soon."

OoOoO

By the time she got back, they had an hour and a half until the date. Time management had always been a strong suit of Zoe's, contrary to her mother's belief—behold, the power of spite and not believing your child when she tells you she's been done for hours—so she had plenty of time, and had called Andre and ice cream man on her fast-paced walk. Being wingwoman for two dorks was easier said than done, but the fate of Adrienette rested upon her shoulders, so she could not fail. But she would lose her shit if an akuma showed up.

Walking into Adrien's room, she saw the blonde model on the ground in the fetal position tearing at his hair.

"Adrien…? You doing okay?"

Adrien looked up and lunged at her, throwing his arms around her neck, "Zoe thank god I'm so lost, I don't know what to do! Emma, Louis, and Hugo will never be born because I'm a total dork and I'm not good enough and I have no fucking idea what I'm doing—" Zoe slapped him, like, actually slapped him.

"Adrien, calm your fucking tits. You are smart, funny, gorgeous, charming, witty, and you will be fine. It is just a walk, get some ice cream, and skate for a bit. If you need help, just ask, don't panic. You look fine in just your normal outfit, but maybe ditch the white jacket."

He nodded slowly, "Can you help me?" She smiled, walking across the hall and pulled out two sets of roller blades from her closet, walking back. "Eden and I used to go to the rink during Christmas time, that way we could be productive and clear out heads. Roller-blading isn't much different. I for one learned to figure skate from practice, and _Yuri! On ice_. Yes, I have a problem."

Adrien put on the skates, before pausing, and Zoe realized the problem.

"Watch me." She sat next to him and demonstrated how to tie the laces. She stood up and skated in a circle. She took his hand, "Here, take my hands." He took her hands, leaning in nervously as she led him around the room, catching him if he fell.

"Thank you, Zo."

"It's nothing. I'll keep anyone who wants to interrupt distracted with my amazingness, all you need to do is not fall. Just never think about stopping and you should be fine."

They practiced a couple tricks for the rest of the time, until Zoe's phone buzzed, signaling they had fifteen minutes.

They snuck downstairs and almost made it to the door, until Gabriel stopped them,

"Where are you two going?"

"We're going to work on an English project with Marinette." She sent him a challenging look, "Don't try to stop it." He didn't argue, looking genuinely afraid for a couple seconds. It seemed he had grown progressively more afraid, especially since Storyteller the day prior—wow, had it only been a day? He just gestured for them to go, knowing Zoe was more than capable of keeping Adrien safe, and she hadn't been concealing the dagger at her side that she had had obvious, so he would know not to stop them.

The walk was quick, and Zoe ditched Adrien when Marinette came out, running to Andre on the bridge.

"Hey Andre, the ship is sailing, and we need the ice creams." Andre nodded,

"Of course my girl. Would you like some ice cream as well? You have been going through so much trouble. My treat."

Zoe shrugged, "Sure, why not."

"Excellent! Blackberry for his eyes, and chocolate for his hair." Zoe's jaw just about unhinged like a snake upon eating—coincidence, I think not—her favorite flavors for ice cream. She wasn't sure she was prepared to find this mystery person—she had honesty been expecting Andre to deem her without a soulmate due to her being from another universe altogether.

She ate it in silence for a minute, before Marinette and Adrien came walking towards her, so she scampered behind the cart, taking tons to pictures. It seemed her goal to shock Adrien with Marinette's beauty was working too well, and he was stuttering so much Marinette was looking smug. Andre gave them their ice creams, and Adrien's changed from Ladybug to Marinette. The couple shared along the way to the ice rink, and Zoe was already there, making sure to keep the guy—what was his name? Phillippe?—busy so he wouldn't interrupt.

She put on her skates and proceeded to skate around, performing a perfect double loop jump, Eden's favorite of the tricks she had learned through trial and error.

Her plot worked as Phillippe came rushing over while Adrien and Marinette were putting their own skates on,

"Zoe Agreste?! Such grace, such beauty! Take classes with me! I can see it now: Zoe Agreste, model and professional ice skater!"

Damn. That had worked better than she had imagined. But she suspected he'd notice Adrien and Marinette soon, so she decided to string him along, but not say yes, because while that sounded fun, she wanted ice skating to remain something fun, not a true activity.

"Sir, it's kind to offer. But I'm just here to blow off some steam. I don't have enough time for full-time classes." He slumped, then noticed Adrien and Marinette, about to skate towards them, so she grabbed his arm and tugged, just barely regaining balance before crashing to the floor, "My brother's on a date. Maybe you could teach me something while they do that."

They were interrupted by the sound of a 'thud' and saw Marinette had slid into a wall, causing both Adrien and Zoe to rush to her side. But Phillippe saw this as an opportunity, offering—begging—for them to take classes, until the mayor came out of nowhere.

"Phillippe, you cannot force them to take classes if they don't want to. It has been ten minutes and you have not gotten a signature, so the building will be remodeled into a gym for Chloe—I mean the city."

Zoe immediately felt bad and angry. She hadn't realized the place would close, but she genuinely didn't have time. Adrien helped Marinette up, and she muttered about hurting her back, so they walked into another room, while Zoe followed, whipping out her phone,

"Zo? How's the date?"

"CHLOE! I thought I told you not to be a bitch. Your Dad's here trying to close the ice rink to be remodeled into a gym for you. Now we're going to deal with Frozer, god forbid. I'm hoping maybe the akuma will be tomorrow, or I will lose my shit. But what the hell?"

Silence, and then _"Damnit! I thought I told him not to do anything that could risk akumatizing someone, at least until tomorrow. I'll call him and try to change his mind. Brb."_ She hung up, so Zoe followed Adrien, who was sitting beside Marinette in the hall,

"Mari, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. My back's just a bit sore." Zoe felt the younger girl's back over, finding a couple knots in her back that she massaged out—thank you Grandma for making her learn how to be a masseuse, damn her twisted childhood was being helpful here—Marinette yelped a couple times, before turned to face her brunette friend in awe,

"How did you?"

"Because I'm fucking awesome." Zoe smiled, realizing just how much her self confidence had grown since she had come here. Once she was a shy, meek girl, unless her loved ones were hurt or threatened, ready to die at any given moment; into who she used to be a long time ago: fiery, confident and a strong amount of self-esteem if Dausi was in hell where she belonged—actually, hell was too good, purgatory?

Suddenly, ice began coating the hall.

"Oh god…" Zoe moaned, realizing the date was good and truly ruined, "oh god…" Ice coated everything as Adrien shoved Marinette into the bathroom, as Zoe began shrieking like an actual banshee "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—"

 **I am sorry, the remainder of this story is unavailable because Zoe's brain exploded. Sorry about that… :/**

 **Just Kidding, but she is pissed.**

Adrien grabbed her shoulders and urged her down the hall,

"Calm your tits. Just a minor setback." He pulled out his magic cheese, while Zoe pulled out her magic bread rolls.

They powered up and transformed, and this time, Fireheart found herself disappointed by hers and impressed by Cat Noir's. The only difference she had was the ice skates and her normally crimson tips when transformed were instead a starlit white.

They skated through the frozen Paris, before seeing Ladybug on a roof.

"Hey M'Lady!" He greeted happily, "So, how was your date?"

Ladybug looked surprised at how happy he was, before answering, "It was great. Would have been better if this akuma didn't show up. Anyway, I'm thinking we need to trap the villain."

Fireheart—or maybe Iceheart, nah, that sounded like an akumatized version of her, and she wasn't really icy—nodded slowly, "I think Kitty and I should go separate directions and observe, that way if one of us gets captured, it won't be in one fell swoop."

Cat Noir bit his lip, "Sorry Bugaboo, but I kind of like her plan." Ladybug nodded,

"Don't worry, I like it too. I'll take left and you two take right?" They nodded and the trio parted ways.

"So…where are we going?" Cat Noir asked after a moment, "I've tracked him to the Eiffel Tower, but you tend to have an alternate agenda."

"Naturally." Fireheart sent him a wolfish grin, "We're looking at the Eiffel Tower, and I can very clearly see Frozer, and I fly; not to mention I have a fire sword that will likely come in handy." To demonstrate, she flew up, skating behind Frozer, who looked like he had a _cold_. He turned and even sounded like he was congested, "Hey!"

She flipped over him and cut from behind, much like the bitchy counter, as Cat Noir came up. Frozer shrieked and…well…he began to melt…

Fireheart slowly backed away as Ladybug came up as well, staring as the villain turned to water. They all remained silent for a second, the ice skates the only thing left, before Cat Noir looked down at her,

"Your murder counter is getting alarmingly high."

"What? They all come back to life, regardless of being like eighty or so after Storyteller. If it weren't for Storyteller, it would be two."

"Fireheart," Ladybug said slowly, "Normally people can go their entire lives without killing someone."

"Whatever." She shrugged, "Dragon Flame." She purified butterfly flew away, so Ladybug threw her yoyo, using Miraculous Ladybug to fix everything. Phillippe stared at them.

"Why is it that sometime things are hard, and other times you take them down in less than five minutes?" Cat Noir asked, earning another shrug from Fireheart,

"Nobody interferes with the dates I'm third-wheeling without serious punishment." She laughed, "Now can you fist-bump me so I can get back to the date." They all fist-bumped,

"Pound it!"

OoOoO

The rest of the date went amazingly well, and Adrien posted a picture of himself with Phillippe and Zoe, to bring more popularity to the ice rink.

Zoe texted the pictures to the Adrienette group chat, and Adrien sighed,

"Will this relationship have any privacy?"

"Other than your secret identities? No."

 **A/N: I felt like Frozer was too easy as it was, so I made it easy still. And I needed to add Jeremy.**

 **Also, the sequel will be coming out very soon, because Season fucking 3 is coming out next week! The trailer is amazing and was the only thing my cousins could bond over. Bets have been made. I need to hurry finishing this one.**

 **The order for the next chapters will be: Catalyst, Mayura (not in the same chapter like the Queens' Fight), the picnic and charity ball, epilogue, and maybe a trailer for the sequel, then the sequel will be coming out.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: No, I did not forget Sandboy, ToxicUser19, it's in chapter 13. Also, you don't have an account, so I can't respond.**

 **Anyway, 6500 views and climbing! I'm so happy!**

 **Chapter 17: Burn bitches!**

Was Gabriel trying to make them pass out for the ball? He was already going to send off a mass attack, why in the name of holy nuggets did he send out another ridiculously tough one that lasted until THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING! She had been so tired she hadn't bothered to listen about the villain's revenge or some shit, or even process the powers—maybe ice, maybe electricity. Her birthday was already shit.

They leapt into Adrien's room and detransformed, neither giving enough of a fuck to change into pajamas, or for Zoe to go back to her own room. They flopped onto the bed in a very un-model-like manner.

"That villain was so tough." Adrien moaned while Plagg yawned.

"I'm gonna punch Hawk Daddy in the dick when I get the chance." She mumbled, earning a hum of agreement from boy and kwami alike.

Two hours later

"FUUUUUUUUCK! We're twenty minutes late for this goddamn bullshit!" Adrien shrieked, noticing they had slept through their alarm. He shook Zoe, "Zoe get up! We have to be at school in thirty minutes!"

"I can't Adrien," Zoe retorted sleepily, "these blankets have accepted me as one of their own, and if I got up now, I would be betraying their trust."

"But it's Heroes' Day! Gabriel's gonna kill us all! And it's your birthday, and I can't celebrate properly unless you're awake."

"Yay…one year closer to dying…" She muttered sarcastically, walking into the bathroom and using the hairbrush she kept in his room to tame her uncontrollable bedhead. She and Adrien both put makeup on to conceal the bags under their eyes.

It turned out Adrien was _really_ good at braiding hair, so he braided her hair as she walked around her room, stuffing her emergency backpack full of weapons—because they knew all the powers of all the villains this time, and knew they needed to be locked and loaded.

Plagg sighed, "Heroes' Day... We're already heroes. Come on, let's go back to bed!"

"I'm with Plagg!" Zoe agreed readily, wanting to go back to sleep.

"Plagg!" Adrien covered his nose, "Do you really have to eat that so early?"

Plagg just ignored them and ate his cheese.

Adrien grabbed his bag and Zoe saw him staring at his father in front of his mother's statue—okay, when the hell did they get a garden? Stupid writers changing the size of this mansion.

"I'm torn." Adrien said after a moment, "On the one hand, I want Mom back; but on the other, Gabriel's a jackass and I don't want him to win. And I value my life."

Zoe shrugged, "He doesn't deserve you. Now go chop his dick off." She had recovered from Brief Psychotic disorder, when Adrien got his cast and brace off, but she would still hurt her guardian and/or make him incapable of conceiving—and a lack of libido, due to a lack of genitalia.

Adrien jumped back, "What the fuck!?" He laughed, "And suddenly _Miraculous Ladybug_ took a very…very strange…R-rated turn—oh, X-rated turn, oh..." Zoe ruffled his hair, standing on her tip-toes, "Yup. So, we've Winchester'd it up, shall we go? And may I please shoot Gabe when we get him arrested."

"Not in public." Adrien replied simply. Zoe brushed down her brown and green plaid shirt over her black T-shirt, dark navy jeans, and brown combat boots—I'm feeling specific today?—before walking downstairs, Natalie intercepting them.

"The fencing hall is booked for 6:05 p.m. and the Chinese classroom for 6:35 p.m., just as you wished. And remember that you have to make an appearance in the Agreste Foundation's Heroes Gala, and Zoe's birthday celebration." She sent a pointed look at Zoe for that, clearly knowing the odds of the brunette coming to her own birthday were zero, without a serious reminder, and that only made it one in ten—twenty judging by the inevitable exhaustion by the end of the day.

"I'll be there for sure." Adrien mumbled, walking out the door escorted by Gorilla.

An hour of the Agreste kids sleeping at every possible moment with Chloe covering for them later

Apparently, Lila video-chat them. Zoe hadn't known this, because the last time she called was the day before she came. Though how nobody had brought it up could only be blamed on the writers.

She had wondered why the deceitful Italian girl wasn't around. She had never hated or even disliked Lila, unlike most of the fandom, because she herself had been a chronic liar—she still had that problem sometimes, but she burned it off by lying to Natalie and Gabriel. Pathological lying, like Lila seemed to deal with, was generally caused by a combination of factors, which may include a dysfunctional or insecure childhood. Such an environment was likely to emerge chronic or pathological lying as an adaptive defense mechanism. Dysfunctional family and parental overprotection are among many causes of pathological lying. As someone who dealt with both, but namely the latter, Zoe knew how that felt, and used to lie constantly—never once getting caught, and with the assistance of theater, she could weave a lie and it would be like honey on her tongue.

Now, if Lila tried anything that would hurt her friends or turned out to just be a pure bitch, then things would change.

Lila waved, "Hello everyone!"

"Hi Lila!"

"We can't wait to hear what you've been doing since our last video chat." Miss Bustier said happily, "Tell us about your week in the Kingdom of Achu."

"And we've never met." Zoe decided to challenge it. What Adrien had done for her was always ask about every lie to Gabriel and Natalie, and she trusted him, so she would be honest with him and it became just as normal as lying. "So Achu. I've never been."

Adrien smiled, "This is Zoe, she's a family friend, lost her family a while ago and is like my sister."

"Ah Zoe Carpenter Agreste. We've heard of you up here: the famous defeater of Style Queen. That's one thing I can't say I've done. As to the trip, it's absolutely amazing! Prince Ali invited me and my parents to his gorgeous Palace." Zoe narrowed her eyes. She knew she shouldn't call Lila out in front of everyone on how fake that backdrop looked in public—because she was looking to help this girl and maybe befriend her and would rather not have her hate her guts like Volpina and Ladybug—and she didn't want to humiliate her, because she recognized Ladybug had overreacted and had taken it a bit far.

Marinette, it seemed, didn't have such a moral issue, or any problem whatsoever, with calling her out again—and this was coming from the girl who shrieked at Chloe her first day without hesitation, "Excuse me, Lila. Prince Ali couldn't possibly have invited you because he is in the United States." _Holy crap, what is wrong with him?_ She wondered, before, _right, wrong world._ It was still hard to tell at times, even though Paris was supposed to have armed guard everywhere or some shit.

Lila, surprisingly, just laughed, as though expecting this—but this was Marinette, so if video-chats were a regular thing, she probably had prepared a ton in advance for this situation—"I never said he was actually here, Marinette. I just said he invited us, that's all. His parents organized the visit—"

Zoe tuned out Lila and listened to Marinette, because she valued not having Adrien get dropped from the Eiffel Tower for real, or Volpina be the catalyst before Catalyst of the Heroes' Day shenanigans. "She's lying. I'll expose her for the fake that she is."

"Oh no," Alya moaned, "Marinette not that again. She's not a liar. You're just jealous because she tried to hit on Adrien."

"Nu-uh. Not. True."

Zoe turned, "Marinette…you're dating him. No need. Besides, need I remind you of her grudge with Ladybug that I will bet you anything hasn't gone away."

Alya stared at her, "What?" Well, she needed to tell Alya anyway. She sat back normally and proceeded to send a very long text explaining the situation—with only hers and Carapace's, because why not, identities revealed, and multiple reminders to not tell. Lila continued to ramble about her magical trip and Zoe noted Lila had a problem, because when she herself lied, it was about going to work on a project with a friend instead of going to the store and buying groceries with her own money—no, really, she would get grounded for buying fucking bread for herself and Eden, not even good bread—and Lila was talking about some amazing, likely imaginary, trip.

"Lila, what good deed are you planning to do on this special day?"

"Today, I'll be meeting up with Prince Ali to show him an idea I came up with. Marinette? Prince Ali is coming back today isn't he?"

Marinette groaned, "Yeah that's right."

"What idea is this, Lila?" Max asked

"I'm sure it's amazing!" Rose encouraged as Alya replied to Zoe's text

A(Alya): You're not joking. I can tell. WTF?! I expect a very thorough interview on the Ladyblog as Fireheart. The existential crisis is coming for me.

Z(Zoe): Yup. Everyone else knows, you're the last I told. Chloe found out by accident (like Adrien, but I live with him so…) and I needed to tell Nino because…Storyteller…enough said. Sorry about that.

A: It's fine. But we should pay attention.

Zoe subtly put her phone away and heard Lila lie. Wait… Lila. Lie-la. Um…oh god, it was so obvious.

"Oh, it's nothing much! During our world travels, my diplomat parents have helped me convince the leaders of several nations to agree reduce world pollution." Adrien shook his head in disapproval, "And I'm very optimistic that the prince was on board."

Zoe frowned. Diplomats? This had gone too far and needed to stop, for Lila's own good. But she couldn't call her out, so time to play the 'calling you out while completely unaware of doing it' card.

"Both your parents are diplomats?" Zoe asked with false innocence and genuine curiosity, "What are their names? I'd like to look them up. Maybe they knew my father before he died." Her father ran his own software company with a couple friends, and it helped that he had a lot of popular contacts. His schoolteacher was friends with Justin Timberlake, for example.

Lila suddenly looked flustered, irritated, but not angered, because Zoe was the new girl and how could she suspect anything.

"I…uh…" She suddenly turned to the side, "Coming!" She turned back to the class, "I'm sorry, but it's late here and I just got called to dinner. Time difference. As you can see behind me, the sun's already going down." She gestured to the backdrop, "I have to leave you now. See you soon!"

"Bye!" The video chat ended, and Adrien sent Zoe a look of silent thanks.

Miss Bustier drew everyone's attention to her, "Well it isn't going to be easy living up to Lila's standards but let's not forget we can still be heroes for this one day. We may not all have Prince Ali as a friend, but—"

Mr. Damocles came running in as his superhero alias The Owl, "We do have imagination" he pulled up a picture of all six heroes that was clearly photoshopped, because the six had never been together, today would be the first for that. Owl was suddenly added in himself—but it was much worse quality, and he was doing that strange dab thing—"Hoo hoo! This year Ladybug, Cat Noir, and the more recently added Fireheart, have been our heroes protecting us from the terrible Hawk Moth, they've shown us that heroism is beyond comic books and fairytales. Heroism is real, and it is up to you to show how our heroes have brought out the best in all of us, by being everyday heroes."

"So what heroic deeds have you all planned?" Miss Bustier asked, "Nino?"

Nino stood up, "I gotta admit I never used to do anything for anyone before, but Ladybug and Cat Noir have shown me what being cool's really about." Cue blushing from Adrien and Marinette, "So this year, I'm gonna visit the elderly residents down at the local retirement home and play them all their favorite songs." People cheered, and it was loud, then Miss Bustier asked for another,

"Adrien?"

Adrien stood up, taking Zoe's hand to pull her up, "Today I planned to give my fencing classmates a lesson in Chinese and my Chinese classmates a lesson in fencing."

"And I'm doing an emergency—read Hawk Moth—preparedness lesson." Zoe added, she then sighed, "But I have a feeling Hawk Moth has an akuma, or some mass attack planned, so I doubt we'll have time."

"No way." Mylene replied, "Hawk Moth wouldn't be that cruel."

Zoe turned, "Wanna bet?" She threw her hands up, "If I'm right, everyone who bets against has to give me three hundred euros."

They were murmurs all around of "I'll take that bet" before Adrien whispered in Zoe's ear

"Isn't this an abuse of your knowledge?"

"Yes. But they didn't need to take the bet, and anyone with common sense could guess an attack would happen. Besides, we need the money if we're going to buy that flat on the edge of town without Gabriel knowing our whereabouts." That was their grand plan, in the event they couldn't find a backup guardian—which was really hard because Natalie checked their search history and watched them for three weeks, thinking Zoe was about to kill Gabriel, not that she wasn't—they would live on a flat they found on the edge of the city. But it was pretty pricey and they didn't want anyone to notice any money missing, and while Zoe burned through a chuck of money on food, it was nothing compared to buying land.

Miss Bustier rounded everyone up, noticeably not taking the bet, "Alya?"

Alya stood up, "Last year I wrote an article about equipping public buildings with disabled access, but after seeing Ladybug and Cat Noir going that extra mile every single day, I decided I too could do better, so I got the mayor's approval to improve facilities so that handicapped kids can attend our school."

Okay, now that was cool. Zoe cheered with everyone else,

"What about you Marinette?"

Marinette looked sheepish, holding up a small box, "I—so—I—yeah—I have macaroons." Yum, she could go for a nice macaroon. She was suddenly swept into a flashback.

 _They were in London. This was Eden's first vacation since she lost most of her hearing, requiring hearing aids. Since she had been such a trooper, they took her for a macaroon. She couldn't eat gluten in the US, but it was different in the UK and Europe._

" _Okay Eddie," their father encouraged, "Go ahead." Their mother was filming, and Zoe was eating her own macaroon, grinning. It was 2015, Eden was 8 and Zoe was 11. This was before everything spiraled, when their mother didn't know how smart her children could be. Before she was cruel._

 _Eden ate her macaroons, first chocolate, then caramel, then green tea. She laughed and launched herself at her big sister, who had been responsible for convincing their parents to do this._

" _Thank you Showy!"_

Showy. When Eden was a baby, she couldn't pronounce 'Z' so she always used 'sh'. Once she got older, it became more of a nickname.

Zoe then noticed she was starting to tear up. Briskly wiping away the stray tear away, she turned when Chloe spoke, and she was thankful for her brain going a mile a minute as it had probably been roughly three seconds.

"Oh, wow like every year you obviously went above and beyond." Sarcasm dripped from her voice. Zoe raised an eyebrow, and Adrien just sighed.

"Hey, she did what she could," Alya snapped, "and that's better than nothing." She sent Chloe a look.

Chloe looked offended and stood up, "I am doing something, now that I'm a superhero myself, I donated to the homeless shelter." Everyone gawked. Zoe and Adrien both gave her a thumbs up.

Marinette, not wanting to be bested by Chloe, continued, "Wait it's not just macaroons for us, I'm organizing a school wide macaroon tasting! Yeah, and there will be more than just macaroons, they'll be pastries and pies, fruits and cakes for everyone who wants them. I invite everyone to the biggest tasting evert at the park tonight!"

"Cake for everyone!" Kim cheered, earning equal cheers from everyone.

Only Zoe noticed that Marinette had an expression that said, "I've done fucked up."

OoOoO

They went back to the house and ate a quick snack, while practicing knife-throwing. Using a gun was helpful, but there was a high chance they would run out of ammo because unlike Zoe, Adrien hadn't been training since he was five, so he was nowhere near as good a shot. He came by it naturally, but not naturally enough that some pistols were the one thing to rely on.

Adrien threw the knife, hitting barely a centimeter away from bullseye.

"Nice." Zoe chucked three, hitting the center.

"Why are you better than me?" He asked, more sarcastically complained.

She chuckled, "Because I have been training for the apocalypse since I was five years old. I thank my father for being the embodiment of a geeky pessimist." Seriously, the reason she had been taught to shoot was in the event of the zombie apocalypse, telling her that the hardest thing about that when prepared is not being excited.

He laughed, "I wish my mother had married your father and vice versa. That way or shitty parent could be shitty together, and we could live prepared and happily with our goofy parent. And I would love to meet Eden."

"You would love her." She looked up to him, "She lost most of her hearing when she ruptured her eardrums. Mother had always told her not to be a wuss—and that was even before she was a total bitch, call it tough love—so she never mentioned the pain for a month until we found her bleeding from her ears. But she never let her disability bring her down or get the best of her. She's goofy and bright, loved by everyone." She sighed, "She's like you in a way. Innocent and kind, but a dork and has one hell of a temper." Adrien's temper was reigned in, but Gabriel could bring it out and many stress balls met their end.

"She sounds sweet." Adrien suddenly looked like he remembered something, "Oh yeah!" He pulled out a small box, "I went to Master Fu and asked him to retrieve something for me." She opened it and gasped. It was her birthday gift from Eden when she turned 10. A rock with a painted pink heart, the words 'best friends' painted on it messily, being the work of a seven-year-old and all.

"How…How did you get this?"

"I asked Master Fu if he could get something important to you. I would have gotten it myself, but he said it was too risky for me to travel to your world. Something about the fabric of the universe."

"And you going for two minutes is more dangerous than me living here because…"

Adrien laughed, "I said the same thing. He said I might see something shiny, miss the time limit, and get stuck there forever. Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it!" She hugged him, "Thank you Adrien."

"Do you miss her?"

"Are you kidding? If it weren't for her, Merlin and Sam, I'd have nothing keeping me there."

"Oh!" Adrien pulled out a piece of paper, "Speaking of which, I also demanded a universe update. Apparently, Sam is happily engaged, and Merlin's been adopted by him. Couldn't get anything else though, sorry." He showed a picture of a wedding invitation.

Zoe gaped taking the invitation to a wedding she would never get to attend, "Sam…engaged…never did I think I'd hear those words in the same sentence. But I'm happy for him and Merlin." She frowned, putting it on the desk, "We should confirm with Gabe that we can go to Marinette's tasting." Did she think it would really be a tasting? No. But it would be a better party than the ball.

"Already did." Adrien cheered, "He said yes. But he also probably assumes he'll win and we won't get to go."

"Well he can suck it." Zoe looked at her phone, "We should go."

Fifteen minutes later

They made it to the school just as Marinette was walking up the stairs. Adrien, who hadn't been told that there was a good chance the tasting would not be happening like described, simply wanting to spend time with his more-than-friend-but-not-quite-girlfriend; he ran up to her,

"Marinette, this is awesome, my father gave Zoe and I permission to come to your tasting!"

"I—I—I—uh."

Adrien got a hint, "You didn't make enough pastries for me, is that it?" He gave Marinette puppy eyes that Zoe knew would be the blunette's undoing. Exhibit C:

"Oh no, we've got plenty. You're so cute—uh I mean it's so cute—cool! It's cool you can make it!"

Adrien smirked playfully, "I'm glad you think I'm cute."

They walked into the courtyard and saw everyone looking at a phone,

"What's going on?" Marinette asked, causing Rose to hold up her phone to them, where Nadja Chamack was speaking,

"Cat Noir is dead, Fireheart missing, Ladybug in the clutches of the terrible Hawk Moth! This is Paris' worst nightmare!"

"Ladybug defeated?! Nothing will ever be rock and roll again!" Jagged Stone said, more extra than probably necessary, but to be fair, only she and Adrien could be 100% sure that 100% of that was bullshit. Goddamnit Lila.

"We'll have to cancel the concert?" Clara asked, as she and Jagged clung to each other.

"You're right Clara," Nadja agreed, "there's no sense in celebrating Heroes' Day either." And of course, a swarm of red butterflies flew around, people freaked the fuck out, and suddenly Prime Queen was talking,

"Dear viewers, what does make sense is getting ready for…"

Guitar Villain stood up with his guitar, "Our new lead Rockstar"

Frightengale spun into view, "Scarlet Moth!"

Marinette gasped, Adrien looked alarmed, and only Zoe was calm, "So…Papillon Ecarlate? I like that better." Thank you, French lessons she had taken before going to real-world France.

Naturally, the demon butterflies came to the school and everyone started freaking out and getting akumatized into scarlet versions of their akumatized form.

To the tune of _What's This?_ From _Nightmare before Christmas_ , Zoe exclaimed, "The fuck, the fuck!? The fuck is in the air?! The fuck!? There's red shit everywhere!" She dully noted Chloe run off, fully confident. She sighed, the time for poking fun at Hawk Moth was over.

"Adrien! You know what to do!"

"Must I? I have a more-than-friend now!"

"Suck it up pretty boy!"

Adrien sighed, gripped her waist and spun her like Cat Noir and Fireheart during Sandboy, only this time, she had an actual flamethrower—because it was totally normal for a dragon-themed superheroine to keep a real flamethrower with her as a civilian at all times so as to avoid a situation exactly like this.

"Burn bitches!" At least half the butterflies burst into flames and burned up. But there will still more than enough to akumatize everybody.

"Don't let fear control you Juleka!" Marinette shouted as she and Adrien urged people out while Zoe continued to scorch akumas and akumatized victims to back them away.

She dully noted Alya and Nino use the power of love to scare away the akumas. Marinette ran into the bathroom, and Adrien and Zoe were about to run into the locker room, when Gorizilla saw and captured them, causing Zoe to drop the flamethrower as she yelped.

They saw the symbol appear and Gorizilla looked even more like a demon. Fortunately, while they were in separate hands, Zoe had not lost her emergency backpack, or the KA-BAR knife she had on a sheathe at her hip. She was small enough to wriggle her hand to the hilt, and stab it into Gorizilla's hand, causing the Gorilla-villain to yelp and drop her. She rolled to avoid most of the damage, but still felt something pop in her left side along her ribs. She stood up, holding the knife to throw, "Adrien! Look out!" She threw it, barely missing her mark, but it did enough, as Adrien was released, and she ended up catching him in her arms.

Then ran, but Gorizilla as chasing after them. Adrien nodded to Plagg, who flew behind the villain and blew on the ground, causing the road to be destroyed, trapping Gorizilla. Now Zoe believed he was responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs—oh what a lovely conversation that had been—fricking disintegrated them all.

They ran into the alley.

"Are you hurt?" Zoe asked, causing Adrien to shake his head, "You?" She also shook her head, wincing as her side burned.

"Fine my ass." Adrien scolded, "Up." She groaned and lifted up her shirt, revealing the beginning of bruising. It was probably just a bruised rib, but should be bound before it became cracked or broken. Adrien dug into her bag and pulled out some binding cloth.

"How do I do this?"

"It's not that big of a deal…"

"Suck it up bitch, I'm not going to leave the ball and find your rib broke, punctured a lung and you're dead. How do I do it?"

Zoe groaned, "Prick. Fine. Don't wrap too tightly, and I'll need to remove the bindings occasionally to take a deep breath once an hour or so, so after this fight is over. Place the strip of binding above the injured rib. Have the injured person exhale as much air as possible, and then, starting on one side of the ribcage, completely encircle the body with the wrap one or two times. Repeat the wrapping process below the injured rib. Some people use a figure-eight design because it will hold its position better. Then tie it off." She exhaled as much as she could. Adrien bound her ribs with a little assistance.

Plagg crossed his tiny arms, "See that, I barely destroyed anything!" They turned and smiled. Adrien patted Plagg's head and it was adorable,

"You're true hero. Plagg claws out!"

Zoe nodded to Blazze, "Blazze, wings out!" She felt the pain of her ribs vanish and they ran across the rooftops together, before hiding behind a chimney as they called Ladybug,

" _Cat Noir!"_

"No way we were going to miss this party, M'Lady, especially with all these guests." They looked towards all the akumatized walking towards the Eiffel Tower.

" _How many?"_

He looked over, "Um…one two three, too many to count. Looks like Hawk Moth's made quite an army for himself."

"I'd say twenty-five…ish." Fireheart mused, jumping down and casually taking out Timebreaker from behind, detransformed on the roof and retransformed. She shrugged to Cat Noir, "What? I didn't want to watch you die again."

Ladybug jumped down beside them, "It's just as well, and I'm planning to do the same."

"M'Lady…"

Ladybug stood up and walked up to the duo, "I've got a mission for you two." She gave Cat Noir the Bee Miraculous.

"Oh…"

Then ran to Chloe's and saw she had had a Bee version of the Bat Signal fashioned for herself and was using it. They unplugged it,

"About time, I was starting to wonder what was taking you so long—" She turned and beamed upon seeing them, "Adrien! Zoe! You two really are okay. We saw an akumatized Ladybug kill Cat Noir, then Ladybug got the Miraculous and casually mention she had gotten Fireheart before." She suddenly turned serious, "Not like I believed them. Anyway, we've got work to do." She held out her hand for the Miraculous.

"What's the magic word?" Cat Noir taunted.

"Oh, come on, everyone knows it's Buzz On." She crossed her arms.

"Nope." Fireheart challenged, and Chloe got the idea,

"Oh, that magic word. Cat Noir, could you give me my Miraculous, please."

Cat Noir held a hand up to his ear, "Sorry we didn't get that."

"Please!" He gave her the Miraculous and she opened it happily, Pollen appearing,

"Greetings my queen."

"Pollen, Buzz on!" Her transformation really was awesome. And then they were running to the rooftop of Palais de Chaillot.

"Why don't we fly in there and fight already?" Queen Bee asked.

Ladybug turned to them, "We won't be able to defeat them if don't know what they're planning."

Hawk Moth, or Scarlet Moth, landed on the Eiffel Tower.

"Ladybug, Fireheart, Cat Noir, behold my powerful army and have no doubt that today belongs to Scarlet Moth!"

"Talking about himself in the third person." Fireheart mused, "And damn, his mask is even uglier in person than on the screen. And the scarlet is tacky."

"Really?" Ladybug asked judgingly, "You're criticizing the man who has an army?"

"Have you met me? Maybe living with Gabriel has given me a taste…not! And it is horrendous." The heroes murmured their agreements.

Queen Bee pulled on her trompo, "Don't get too cocky Hawk Moth. I'm gonna sting you where it hurts."

"So…in the dick?" Queen Bee shrugged, neither confirming or denying it. But that would be a great birthday gift, for Hawk Moth to get something sharp to the dick. Yeah, she wanted the man to feel pain for neglecting and trying to kill his beautiful on the inside and outside son.

"It's only like five villains for every one of us. Who wants Hawk Moth? How about we play rock, paper, scissors for it." Fireheart grinned, "That's my birthday gift." Everyone gasped and said their various 'happy birthdays'. Carapace turned to Rena, implying he learned her identity,

"I got your back."

She bopped him on the nose, "No, I got your back."

"No, I do."

"No, I do." Queen Bee facepalmed and Cat Noir shook his head, approaching Ladybug,

"So, what's the heroes' plan M'Lady?" Ladybug looked upon Hawk Moth's Army dramatically, so Fireheart smirked,

"And now the viewers wait a month to learn what happens next."

 **A/N: And it will take a while to listen to and type up a transcript for this episode, so this may take a while. But since Season 3 is coming out on Saturday, all my other stories—meaning all except Rise of Papillon and Next Generation—will be on hiatus until I finish the story. Which is only Mayura, picnic and ball, and I decided to add the epilogue to that, then a trailer for the sequel which has already been written and will come out alongside the last. So that's two plus one.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I'm back. And we're so close to 7000 views!**

 **I started writing stories because I have a painfully low self-esteem, and waking up to a bunch of great reviews and follows and favorites makes me so so happy and it really helps. I honestly didn't think anyone would read my stories and watch it increase my roughly three hundred a day…I can't even describe how happy that makes me.**

 **Anyway, I'm being too sappy.**

 **So, I had Fireheart deal with Timebreaker immediately, because we don't see her in** _ **Mayura**_ **so I just thought to have an explanation for it.**

 **Also, who saw the clips for Chameleon (Season 3 premiere). For once, I am elated to be learning Spanish, because I made out something about Lila claiming to have a hearing problem so she can sit next to Adrien in the front row. I hadn't seen it when I had Eden be mostly deaf—something that was added to her character upon creation, but only brought up last chapter—and we can all guess where that lie will get Lila. I'm excited to write that conversation in the sequel.**

 **Chapter 18: What should have been the final boss fight (and a quick roast)**

They were hiding on their building, listening to Hawk Moth talk

"Ladybug, Cat Noir, Fireheart, I can feel your close presence. If you want to save Paris and all its people, I'll give you one last chance. Give yourselves up and bring me your Miraculous."

"Penny for your thoughts M'Lady?" Cat Noir asked, while Fireheart pulled out her binoculars and observed who they were up against. Stormy Weather…Gigantiton…Glaciator…no Reverser or the Sapotis or Storyteller, thank god.

"It's like he's been preparing for this for a long time," Ladybug mused, "but we—we're not prepared for this."

"Yes, we are," he encouraged, "we've already fought them all and won, and there are six of us this time."

"If we want to win, we have to defeat Hawk Moth, even though we've never fought him before." Ladybug stood up, making herself known to the enemy, "Hawk Moth, I hope you enjoyed Volpina's illusion, because the real Ladybug will never hand you over her Miraculous!"

Cat Noir stood up, "And we've got a better idea: you're gonna give us your Miraculous."

Fireheart decided why not, and stood up, "Or we'll take it from you."

Carapace now. "You may have an army of akumatized warriors,"

"But we're a whole team of superheroes." Rena.

Queen Bee joined them, "You're gonna to wish you never wore that utterly ridiculous costume." Fireheart smirked at her as they all struck an epic pose to make the fans happy.

Hawk Moth laughed manically, and Fireheart wondered how the hell they could hear him, "I understand you want to fight, then so be it. Guitar Villain! Frightengale! Music!" The two musical villains began screeching.

"Did he seriously just use those two for battle music?" She covered her ears, "or is it to burst my eardrums? That's awful." She rolled her eyes, "But I have to say, using villains for battle music is kind of badass, and I can trust ZagToon to make the music more badass than this for everyone else."

They all leapt down and ran at the villains, battling a couple as they went,

"Don't forget our main objective," Ladybug announced, "we want to get to Hawk Moth."

"No shit sherlock." Fireheart muttered sarcastically, while Cat Noir grinned,

"Well it's a simple plan then, go for the big bad boss."

Fireheart laughed, her hair blowing in the wind probably generated by Stormy Weather, "Get ready to spam the fuck out of triangle."

"Let's get 'em!"

"I'll cover you" Carapace shouted.

"You can count on me, Ladybug." Queen Bee assured.

Stormy Weather threw up her umbrella as she flew, creating a storm, "Cyclone!"

"Fuck you!" Fireheart shrieked, "Now that song will be stuck in my head for days!"

"Thunderbolt!"

Ladybug turned towards Carapace while running, "Carapace! Shield!" Carapace threw his shield and it dramatically blocked the lightning. It was so badass, the only thing that would make it better was a slow-mo.

They fought a couple Villains and Fireheart was too focused on keeping the others from getting murdered. Princess Fragrance and Pharaoh were defeated though, so there was that.

Ladybug smiled smugly at Mime, Riposte and Rogercop, "Your swords are no match for Cat Noir and Fireheart. Show 'em what you've got." The two ran at the villains, dodging attacks and giving them. Because they had been preparing for this for a while, they had already rehearsed multiple outcomes, using Riposte's sword to slice Mime's hat, then Fireheart's sword sliced through Riposte's like it was butter. She also stabbed Rogercop, releasing the akuma as she hit her mark.

"We make a pretty cool team."

"Not bad," Ladybug agreed, "but it's not over yet."

Stormy Weather flew at them, "There's bad weather on the way!"

Fireheart blinked judgmentally, "Is that really a threat? I'm from Seattle." Cat Noir extended his staff and she stood on it,

"Your forecast was wrong, Ice Queen!" he chucked her, and she snapped the umbrella with her blade. She still wondered how she could carry this thing for hours with no problem at all.

Ladybug pointed accusingly at the Eiffel Tower, "Your days of attacking innocent people will soon be over Hawk Moth. Lucky Charm!" A tennis racket appeared, "Get ready, I'm gonna need all of you!"

Suddenly, Fireheart saw Dark Cupid fire his arrows at all the previously akumatized, making them…angry…and reakumatized…oh no…

"What?!" Ladybug shrieked.

"Oh shit…" Cat Noir breathed, because neither he nor Fireheart had even guessed that. That had both seen Dark Cupid as useless in this fight, "Hawk Moth is using Dark Cupid to create all the negative emotions he needs!"

"Damnit!" Fireheart cursed, releasing a stream of more colorful words before going back to normal sentences as she once again took out Mime, "And here I was, hoping it was going to be a simply victory, not some complex plan with a couple other stages we have not discovered yet."

They continued to battle back to back, arrows flying everywhere. They could barely dodge at times.

"It's a nightmare!" Carapace panicked.

"Stay focused guys," Ladybug instructed, "villains must never prevail." It was like Hawk Moth was waiting for her to say that, so he could release a horde of scarlet akumas, "Watch out!"

Fireheart's eyes widened, "HOLY SHIT!"

"Oh no…" Cat Noir breathed, as they continued to battle, until both he, his sister, and Ladybug turned upon hearing "Carapace watch out!" As Rena threw herself in front of an arrow, sacrificing herself for Carapace. That's love, bitch.

She fell into Carapace's arms, "Rena!? No! Not you!" Fireheart could tell when her lips turned black,

"Hands off!" She shoved him off, "You flyweight."

"Rena Rouge!" Ladybug begged, "Don't let any negative emotions take over you, or you might get akumatized too! And that's exactly what Hawk Moth wants!"

"You don't have to worry about me Ladybug," Queen Bee assured, "I'll never let my negative emotions get the better of me!"

Fireheart sighed, counting down on her hand, "Three…two…one…"

"Chloe!" Style Queen and Malediktator appeared. Damnit. She had been making such good progress showing Chloe that Audrey was a piece of shit.

"Daddy? Mommy?"

"Queen Bee, focus!" Ladybug reminded.

"Remember, Audrey's a bitch!" Fireheart added, "Ignore!"

And then she heard this, "I am now… Rena Rage!" Damnit. Rena got akumatized. She turned and was disappointed to see her in the tacky scarlet. She wanted to see what an akumatized Rena would look like, because it had been mention Reverse Rena would be a thing, like Cat Blanc, but that one was easy to guess, so she had been curious.

"No!" Carapace cried.

"Damnit, and I couldn't even play Rage Awakened." Fireheart rolled her eyes, taking out Princess Fragrance fir the third time, "Ha, fuck you Square Enix. Also, Shelly, you sound lie Luke Skywalker when Darth Vader reveals the father thing."

"Priorities!" Cat Noir shouted incredulously.

"Carapace, no!" An akuma landed in the bracelet, and Carapace got akumatized.

"There is no more Carapace. There is only Shellshock!"

She had to take a moment to just judge, "Shellshock? Really? Like going into shock? I'd think Carapire." She may have taken her meds, making more chill, and her adrenaline wouldn't kick in for a while, so she just found herself judging everything, like how this fight felt like it was on superspeed.

"We can discuss all your judgements later," Cat Noir sighed, "but now is not the right time." They turned and saw Queen Bee go down, "Queen Bee…"

"That's Queen Wasp to you, cockroach." He was barely able to dodge a blow from Queen Wasp.

"Ah fucking dicks! Every damn time! Also, she looks like she could be in the _Bee Movie_." Cat Noir just facepalmed in a similar fashion to Ladybug towards him in Season 1.

He flipped over Shellshock, "This might be a good time to us that Lucky Charm of yours, don't you think?"

"I need all of us to make it work, I can't do anything with it now!"

The three of them were truly back to back, surrounded, "I don't see how we're gonna get out of this one M'Lady."

"We can't lose hope, or we'll get akumatized too!"

Fireheart frowned, "What would that be? Miss Fortune and Cat Ecarlate?"

"Now is not the time," Cat Noir sighed, "I'm throwing out those pills. You are not taking this nearly serious enough. But yeah, we're in a cataclysmic situation huh."

"Cataclysm!" Ladybug turned to them, "That's it! Underneath us Cat Noir!"

"Of course!"

Fireheart nodded, "I'll cover you…" she sighed, "sorry Blazze…" she leapt up, spreading her arms out, "DRAGON FLAME!" An explosion burst around her as she pushed on the entirety of her transformation, wiping out every akuma except the flying ones—Stormy Weather and Dark Cupid. Cat Noir used Cataclysm on the ground and they all fell into the sewer, and Zoe found her transformation had instantly worn out, and Cat Noir had thrown her over his shoulder,

They ran through the sewer and Ladybug's earrings beeped, "I'm about to transform back. I'll go this way, you two go that way." They jumped to the right side of a fork, while Ladybug went to the left.

"Claws In." Adrien looked to her, while Blazze was cupped in her palm, weak and barely moving.

"Sorry Blazze," Zoe apologized sincerely, pulling out a couple pieces of bacon, "here's some food."

"It's fine," Blazze assured, devouring the food.

Adrien handed Plagg a piece of cheese, "Enjoy it, but don't take too long, we don't have much time."

"Let's share it," Plagg broke it in half, "you're gonna need it too."

"Thank you Plagg," Adrien smiled, eating the stinky cheese, before turning to the wall, "You okay Ladybug?"

"Hawk Moth has never reakumatized so many people in one go, something's changed."

Zoe shrugged, "He probably figured out he can akumatize someone to boost his powers. Something myself and the fandom wondered why he hadn't done already. But he seems to be limited to the people he's already akumatized, so we shouldn't worry too much."

"You still think we can win?" Marinette asked, "Even with that extra time you bought us, Zoe, they'll be back."

Adrien went to press his hand on the sewer wall, only for Zoe to shake her head, gesturing that that was gross, so he just crossed his arms, "Like you said, we can't lose hope, people are relying on us."

"But…our team crumbled."

He shrugged, "Let's go back to what's always worked: a duo…" He looked to an offended Zoe, "or since Satan came, a trio. The three of us against the world, M'Lady!"

Zoe cheered, "Third wheel extraordinaire returns!" Suddenly, they heard running, and knew the army was coming for them, "Really?" she facepalmed, "He was able to reakumatized them that fast?! Stupid writers upping the stakes."

Adrien turned to the wall, taking Zoe's wrist and running towards the edge, "You like water rides?"

"Don't forget to put your diving gear on!" They three jumped, and then Zoe realized what they were jumping into.

"Ah shit! It's sewer water!"

Adrien looked towards her, magic cheese in hand, "Don't get squeamish on my now. Plagg, power up!"

She followed his example, "Blazze, power up!" They changed into their water forms and dove into the not-as-gross-as-imagined water. Not long after, they were intercepted by Syren.

"Syren!"

Then a giant fish came from the other end, "Oh shit, Animan!"

Cat Noir nodded to them, "Better get fishing!" He handled Syren while Ladybug and Fireheart worked together. Ladybug distracted, and Fireheart took out the akuma. Ladybug and Cat Noir gave Ondine and Otis a mask to help with breathing as they swam out of the sewer and into the Seine,

"It's gonna take a lot of time to deakumatize all these villains one by one." Cat Noir noted.

"I did it," Fireheart pointed out, "and it still failed."

"Well Dark Cupid obviously got away from the blast." Ladybug replied, "This is exactly why we need to take on Hawk Moth directly, he's using his cane to reakumatize his victims, if we can destroy it, he won't have an army fighting for him anymore."

Then the river began freezing with spikes of ice, "Damnit, Frozer."

They just barely escaped, making sure to be a dramatic as possible, as they released the water power up. Ladybug threw her yoyo and Frozer was easily defeated again. She turned to where Hawk Moth was, and Fireheart then realized Prime Queen was up there as well, filming everything.

"You sure don't wanna miss what's coming next! Time to show everyone that the real Ladybug is back!" she opened her yoyo, releases a ton of akumas.

Then Darkblade showed up, though why Hawk Moth had left him alone with the giants was a mystery, "No more escaping for you, knaves. Down with the enemy!"

"I suggest we take a little detour." Ladybug suggested, as they began running.

"Couldn't agree more!"

They sprinted for their lives, Fireheart's adrenaline and true stress of the situation finally starting to kick in, panicking a little bit as they ran.

"Any _Miraculous_ ideas, M'Lady?"

"Besides running and surviving, you mean?" They saw a large barricade and jumped over it, and saw a small army behind it. They saw Nora stand up with the French Flag, leading everyone else,

"Parisians! We can be heroes just for one day!" With that, the second French Revolution began.

Marinette's grandma, Gina, helped them up, "Are you okay?"

Mrs. Césaire, Marlena, ran up to them, "It's awesome seeing you guys again!"

"Parisians are all on your side." Gina informed them, causing Fireheart to sigh in relief.

"We will slow them down," Marlena said, "you three go save the world."

"You are all fantastic," Ladybug thanked, "thank you, take care."

Cat Noir and Fireheart ran off, "Thank you!"

"Thanks!"

They ran across the rooftops before they were intercepted by the giants, but they were saved by the Parisians.

"People are amazing!"

"That's precisely why you should never give up hope, kitty."

Fireheart rolled her eyes, letting her feet barely touch the ground, "Need I remind you that you were the one giving up hope?"

They made it back to the Eiffel Tower, where Gamer and Glaciator were still waiting.

Ladybug started barking orders, "You take care of the ice cream man, Cat Noir. Fireheart, look for any other passing akumas."

"With pleasure, all this fighting's made me hungry."

"On it LB." She flew up and almost immediately found Dark Cupid, taking him out with a swift sword to the not-so-hidden pin. Ladybug purified the akuma and rescue Kim as they tricked Gamer and Glaciator into taking each other out.

Fireheart heard Hawk Moth shout, "No!" So, they all leapt down to him, where he turned to face them, horrified.

"It's down to the four of us, Hawk Moth." Ladybug said.

"Cataclysm!"

"Lucky Charm!" A small Miraculous box fell into her hand, "It's a sign, Hawk Moth; a sign that your Miraculous will wind up inside this box!"

Hawk Moth suddenly had an expression like someone who was about to challenge your motives, "Are you sure you're not making a serious mistake? How do you know the wish I was planning to make wouldn't have been beneficial to everyone?"

"If you were to make a wish, there'd be a price to pay." Ladybug answered, "Why don't you tell us your wish Hawk Moth?"

"Give me your Miraculous and you'll find out. Unlike you, I'm not afraid to use these powers." He smirked, "Since you are so good, why did you never bother to change the world for the better?"

"We are changing the world for the better every day by our actions," Ladybug snapped, "not just by wishing it at the expense of innocent citizens."

Fireheart put her hands on her hips, walking closer, "Hawk Moth…I know your wish. And trust me, unless you are even more of a jackass than I thought, you won't like the outcome." But he seemed completely indifferent, and then she saw an issue. Where was Volpina? "Wait a second." She swung her sword through Hawk Moth, only to be proven right, it was an illusion. She then spun around and threw her sword, cutting through the real Hawk Moth's bicep, earning a yelp.

She then decided, fuck it, and held her hand out, focusing all her will into her target. The blade flew back into her hand and she beamed, "Awesome! It's like Thor's hammer! I am worthy!" Because why wouldn't that work? There was no reason for it not to.

"You're such a coward, Hawk Moth!" Ladybug sneered.

"There's no hiding this time!"

Cue the most epic battle of all time. Well, it was epic, until Hawk Moth kicked Cat Noir in the gut, sending him flying back, and Fireheart got fed up and threw the cane out of Hawk Moth's hand, throwing it to Cat Noir who cataclysm'd it. Hawk Moth went back to purple.

"No…" He looked up, "Alright kids, watch what a man who's got nothing to lose can do!"

Did he just know what to say to infuriate her? Did he di everything just to piss her off? Because as he beat the shit out of Ladybug and Cat Noir, Fireheart jumped between Hawk Moth's arm and Cat Noir's gut, slicing the crook of his elbow as he shrieked.

"Enough!" She snapped as Ladybug and Cat Noir were on the ground, leaving her the only one standing, "You're going to lose! You and your ugly mask!"

Hawk Moth stood up, taken aback, "I beg your pardon?"

Fireheart softened slightly, deciding to voice her frustrations about him, "It's hideous, really. It makes your head look like an egg. I get it's to conceal your identity from the viewers, but they probably know now, and it was still super ugly. Please change it. There is a magic to the Miraculous that prevents people from knowing your identity no matter how obvious it is, unless they find out when the wielder is civilian or is told. You don't need the hideous mask. Do the butterfly one like you did with Lady WiFi and Evillustrator, that one would work in silver."

"What you are rabbiting on about?" He raised an eyebrow.

"And let's get into those akumas." She continued gleefully, "Do I need to send you to fashion school, or teach you the basics? Because it looks like most of your villains stole their color schemes from off brand 90's children show logos. For example, the Bubbler's was objectively and metaphorically the _worst_. Like a McDonalds happy meal toy—"

"Enough!" He roared, "I have your friends at their mercy, about to change back, and you're mocking me?!"

Fireheart looked to Ladybug and Cat Noir, who were just watching, trying not to laugh, "Yeah, pretty much. Let me continue. Let's talk about the end of every episode. It's like Dr. Claw from _Inspector Gadget_ , all 'Next time Gadget, next time!' and that next time never comes because you keep failing and saying the same thing with some slight changes in wording. It's getting repetitive, so please change it up."

"Why you—"

"And also, the name Hawk Moth is _really_ stupid. I get it's a type of moth, but why not something slightly intimidating like DarkWing or just stick with Papillon like the French dub. To be fair, if it was DarkWing, I would think of Darkwing Duck for fucking ever. But Hawk Moth is just way too stupid."

At this point, Hawk Moth was clearly on the brink of crying, "Shut up, you bitch! I'll kill you—" Then he got Carapace's shield to the jugular.

They turned and saw Rena, Carapace and Queen Bee, "Need a hand?"

Ladybug nodded and threw her yoyo, creating a net around the Eiffel Tower, trapping Hawk Moth in,

"You're caught in our net, Hawk Moth, you're not going anywhere."

"Venom!" Queen Bee activated her power, "I'll paralyze him, then he'll be all yours Ladybug."

Only Fireheart noticed the dark blue feather go into the broken cane as a strange symbol appeared over Hawk Moth's eyes. He looked devastated and horrified. Shit.

Mayura.

Emilie or Natalie?

"No, don't do that!" He begged, then fell to his knees as a giant lilac moth appeared. They were all swept away by the winds, Ladybug clinging to her yoyo, until she herself was sent flying.

"What is that monster!?" She attacked, but the monster vanished as the feather left the broken cane,

"A feather…the second Miraculous Master Fu lost…"

Cat Noir finished the sentence, "Was a peacock…"

"Mayura." Fireheart breathed, earning an odd look from the others, "What? The fandom had Mayura, the villainess, confirmed a long while ago formerly known as Le Paon. Her concept art is really cool. But this was supposed to be her debut episode, and her identity reveal, because I have no idea who she is. Hawk Moth we only got a shadowy figure for and some theories, all of which have been blown out of the water."

Then they heard Queen Bee shout, "Ladybug! Hawk Moth!" He was gone.

They ran over, "He must have escaped when that monster appeared." Then Fireheart saw the cane vanish,

"Well, that means he must have changed back." She shrugged, "Remember, he's in agony right now, so he probably got as far as possible before the magical resilience wore out."

"Right. Hawk Moth is no longer working alone." Ladybug looked around to them, "He had Mayura's help. We've gotta split guys, but before that," she threw the box, "Miraculous Ladybug!"

Fireheart chuckled, "Roll credits…"

They ran off with Chloe, taking her Miraculous, as Ladybug came for it.

"And thus ends the final fight of Season 2." Fireheart said, "But Season 1 and 2 and a ten second gap, so we honestly might have another one tomorrow."

Cat Noir groaned, "Can't he give us a break?"

Ladybug looked to Fireheart, "You said you knew his wish?"

"Yes. That was one thing basically confirmed. He lost a loved one, and wants her back. But that would cost him someone else dear."

Cat Noir looked away, "Do you think he knows that."

"I don't know." Her Miraculous beeped, "But we should all go home."

He waved to Ladybug, and they ran home, detransforming a block away from the house, walking to the front door and subtly slipping in, hiding as they saw Gabriel carry Natalie to a seat…

 **A/N: Next chapter is basically the last chapter before Season 3! Also, sorry this one is shorter, but this one really felt like it was on superspeed, so it was difficult. But the next chapter will have lots of Adrienette goodness, so forgiven?**

 **The next chapter should be out today/tomorrow.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: And behold, the last chapter. I decided not to do a trailer, because the sequel will be out tomorrow, because I will always have a few chapters to establish things, before an akuma comes along.**

 **So…let's do this.**

 **Chapter 19: A revelation, a picnic, a ball, and a boy (and another revelation)**

Adrien and Zoe hid behind the stairs, listening intently as Gabriel carried a coughing Natalie to a seat. She pulled out her phone and recorded the conversation,

"I told you never to use the Peacock Miraculous." Gabriel said, earning silent gasps from both Adrien and Zoe, who looked at each other in shock. While they had suspected Natalie would be Mayura, they had thought it would be harder to confirm than this.

"I had no choice sir," Natalie insister, "I had to save you." She coughed, as the two teens slowly crept up the stairs, trying to get to a room while still listening intently.

"It's damaged, it's way too dangerous."

"I want to help you, all the way to the end."

They saw Gabriel look down, then back up at her, placing his hand on hers, "Thank you, Natalie, for everything."

Adrien and Zoe quickly scampered into Zoe's room.

"A man with nothing to lose. Bull." Adrien sneered, glaring at the shut door, "He just doesn't care if you or I die."

"But…" she tried to put a positive spin on things, "Natalie's clearly in love with him, and I'm starting to ship it. Maybe if we can get them together, he'll stop being Hawk Moth, and then it will be easier to snatch the Miraculouses and bust his ass."

"What about Natalie? Wouldn't that be kind of rude, also."

She rolled her eyes, "Naturally. And Adrien, you of all people should understand people do crazy things when they're in love. And before you tell me that could be spun in Gabriel's favor, Emilie's gone, and he needs to accept that and move on. I'm not saying all in one night, but he should have begun healing by now, not doing this crazy shit. You've accepted your mother's gone and seeing her in that coffin opened the wound for you, which proves this isn't healthy for anyone." She found herself in a loose hug to avoid her ribs, which were still sore, but it was dull and mostly just irritating, easily ignored.

"I've said it a hundred times, but thank you. You always find a way to bring out the bright and downcast side without losing hope. You're always there for me whether I know I want it or not. You're more like family than Gabriel every was."

Zoe grinned, before she sat down and began drawing. With Adrien's help, she was able to draw their family—meaning Zoe, Adrien, Eden, Zoe's Dad and Adrien's Mom.

"Our perfect little family."

Adrien yawned, "We have three hours until the picnic, wanna take a power nap?"

"Fuck yes."

They cuddled together on the couch and let sleep claim them instantly.

OoOoO

They woke up from their nap and walked—using the power of 'you cannot stop me'—to the picnic. Zoe had thankfully asked her chef to keep the pumpkin pastries she had baked the day prior, to celebrate her birthday, warm, so she could give them to everyone else.

"Guys! I brought my pumpkin treats!"

Chloe got up and devoured three within second, before giving one to Sabrina and trying the cookies the orange-haired girl had brought. Other people took the treats in thanks, wishing her happy birthday and apologizing for not getting her anything. It was fine, because she didn't want anything, except her sister. She had everything except that girl.

They sat down together next to Marinette, when Adrien's phone rang,

" _Fuck you, fuck you very very much."_

Zoe burst out laughing at that song. _Fuck you_ , by Lily Allen. "Is that your ringtone for Gabriel?!"

"Yup." He looked at the phone and sighed, "Oh no. Gabriel wants us to attend a charity event he's throwing, but it's more a charity for his ego." He growled a little bit, "And I am told to remind Zoe that's it's her birthday celebration. We can't stay."

"Fuck this." Zoe shouted, "We just got here!"

Adrien stood up, looking down at Marinette, "I wanted to tell you, Rose was right earlier, you're always helping people. Like that day you helped Juleka overcome her class photo curse. Or when you partnered Nathanael and Marc together to make that comic book. Or when you helped me got to the movies, so I could see my mother on the screen. That's why everyone jumped at the chance to help you with the picnic, today it was our turn to help you. You're our everyday Ladybug." He smiled, "Have a good evening, Super Marinette." He and Zoe walked away reluctantly, but Zoe turned to the blunette, gesturing towards Adrien,

Marinette gathered confidence and ran up to them, "Adrien!" Zoe backed away, closer to Nino and Alya, grinning. "I…" She went to kiss Adrien's cheek, but he turned his head just a little, capturing her mouth on his.

Then it very quickly turned into a full on make out session.

Zoe had a disgusted expression, "Oh my god, wow he's really digging in there, isn't he. Holy shit, you're sucking on her tonsils Adrien! For god's sakes."

Nino looked down at her and quietly asked, "Oh boy, uh, what's this show rated again?"

"E for Everyone my ass—OH MY GOD, SHE'S GRABBING HIS ASS!" Marinette moved her hands away from Adrien's ass and ghosted them under his shirt, the kiss becoming a bit more of an invitation. And that was where Zoe drew the line. She ran at them, forcing her small body between them. They broke away and glared at her,

"Goddamnit Zoe!"

Zoe rolled her eyes, then she saw a _very_ noticeable bulge in Adrien's jeans. She grabbed a bucket of ice water, removing the drinks inside it, and dumped it on his head, killing his boner. "You're welcome." She turned to Marinette as Adrien slowly gave her the finger, "Anyway, Gabe never said anything about not bringing a plus one. I have a dress you can borrow. Come to the ball with us. You can be his date." #Wingwoman.

Marinette gasped, "I'd love that." She looked to the sopping wet and shivering man she just made out with, "Adrien, I wanted to say…thank you."

He smiled, ignoring the cold, "You're welcome Marinette." He took her hand, which had gotten the least wet, "Come on, let's go. I also need to get dry."

As they left, they heard cheering from behind them.

An hour later

Oh what a lovely conversation it was to explain to Gabriel that he needed to be more specific with rules, if he hadn't wanted this to happen. But once he saw it was Marinette, he was only worried about why his son was soaked to the bone. All three decided to lie and say he tripped and the water dramatically went flying up, not that he was very turned on.

Adrien had gone to his room to get ready in peace, while the two girls went to Zoe's room. She dunked Marinette's hair and braided it, proceeding to use a hair dryer to make it dry wavy.

"You never care about your appearance, having come to school with bed-head in your pajamas before, why do you know this?"

She laughed, "While I rarely cared, theater being the only exception, Eden loved being fancy. I'm not kidding, she learned to walk while wearing high heels and needed physical therapy to walk normally with flats. So, I would style her up. And since you are younger than me, it's kind of nostalgic."

"Oh."

She continued to work her magic, and she grinned, "If you got Adrien like that with that one dress, and your normal outfit, this is really gonna get him to his plate." Sha had opted to style it up in a braided low bun with loose strands—because she had learned that just a hint of imperfection made it even more attractive; her makeup consisted of red eyeshadow and dark red lipstick, closer to maroon.

Marinette looked at herself in the mirror, "You are aware you could enslave the male population of France if you did something like this to yourself, right?"

"Yeah. I know that. But as I said, a slave in not my type. But if I do find a romantic partner, I'd do it just to piss everyone off."

She turned to look at her, "Why is it that you are a horrible person, but also the most loving and supportive one can find?" Zoe shrugged in answer.

"Anyway, let's get you into your dress." They walked to her closet as she explained, "Gabriel didn't know my body type when he got my clothes, so he gave me clothes in your body type. I don't wear the _Gabriel_ fashion line, because unlike Adrien, I find it horribly uncomfortable. But I did have this dress I kept for an occasion like this." She held it up. It was a dark red gown with short sleeves and black spots around it. It was based off Ladybug, naturally, but in darker, less flashy colors.

Marinette slipped it on, and Zoe found herself realizing she could easily pass off as a princess and would likely shock more than just Adrien. Marinette turned to her, "How do I look?"

"Hot and beautiful. Yes, there is a difference." She checked the time and saw she only had thirty minutes to get ready, not that she needed more than fifteen.

"Zoe?" Zoe turned, "You helped me. Do you need help?"

Well, the more you give, the more that comes back around. She had never believed in that saying until coming here, yet here she was. "Uh…sure?"

Marinette sat her down and undid her now-messy braided ponytail, brushing it out and letting it fall down her back.

"What kind of style do you like?" Zoe just shrugged, "I keep it out of my way, that's all I care about."

"Well, your hair seems to grow really fast, so that makes it easier." It was true, in the months since she came, her hair had grown from where Gabriel had it cut. Formerly waist length, then to her shoulder, then her breasts, and was now back to her waist. Marinette just left it be other than tying it at the bottom.

She applied more natural makeup, more enhancing her features than anything. She was a natural-born beauty, and they didn't want to hide it behind makeup, which would downplay it.

"Do you have a dress?" Marinette realized with a gasp, "Knowing you, you might not."

That earned a hearty laugh from the brunette, "Yes. Sorry, but I stole it from you when I was over, and I still wonder how you didn't notice."

Marinette sent her a dirty look, "Don't tell me…" Zoe walked to her closet and pulled out a velvet dark sea-green gown, with a lighter interior layer; the sleeves were loose at the wrists and would hug her in all the right places.

She crossed her arms, "For a Dragon themed superheroine, you wear a lot of blue."

"Yeah." She agreed, "Because blue's my favorite color, just before red. And my Miraculous' disguised for is silver and black, so blue adds onto it more, and assists in hiding my identity. If it was always gold, I would wear red. But I saw the dress and noticed it fit me perfectly, and I refuse to wear anything of Gabriel's."

"What is your damage with Mr. Agreste?"

"He's a neglectful prick who treats Adrien like dirt or a robot."

Marinette just gestured for her to put it on, so she did, and it fit like a glove. She then reluctantly put on the crystal headband that twinkled in the light.

"Time to go be fucking Disney Princesses…and pour more water on Adrien."

They walked out the door just as Adrien walked out of his room, dry, and in a black suit like the one he wore during Style Queen, except the tie was dark green. He saw Marinette and just took a moment to look at her, before holding out his hand, "Shall we?" He sounded more confidant and sure of himself—which meant he had been practicing the positive lines Zoe forced him to practice in the mirror to boost his confidence, that or Plagg told him to suck it up and just act like Cat Noir.

Marinette took his hand and walked down the stairs as they saw all the snotty rich people taking amongst themselves, and their children were dancing on the ballroom floor—when the hell did they get a ballroom?! Pesky writers. Everyone gasped upon seeing Adrien and Marinette, who then introduced Zoe, who already hated this and wanted to leave.

Gabriel noticed her, and took in her dress, looking confused, before gesturing for her to come over.

"That's not from my line. Where did you get that dress?"

"Marinette let me borrow it." She gestured to where Adrien and Marinette were laughing in the corner, "You never gave me a dress that fit. They were all the wring body type. And you've said so yourself that she has talent." Gabriel just sighed as she used his words against him, just shooing her away. He didn't try to hide the fact he didn't like her unless these snobs were here, so imagine what would happen if he found out her true identity…

She walked to the dessert bar and grabbed a large croissant and hid in a dark corner. As much as she had grown, she was still an introvert at heart, and she didn't want to be near any of these people.

She finished her croissant and only then did she realize she hadn't eaten in nearly twenty-four hours. She went to get something…more…from the kitchen, when the tripped on her black heels, because unlike her sister, she was clumsy as hell in heels.

Then she felt someone pull her up before she hit the floor and her blue eyes met eyes a dark, deep blue, nearly violet. Like blackberry ice cream. Wait a minute…

"Woah there. I'd say I saved you from falling from heaven, but something tells me you don't think of this as heaven."

Zoe looked him up and down, having trouble seeing him clearly in the dim light; but she could tell he was Adrien's height if not taller. The only reason she could see his eyes was because they twinkled with the faint lighting.

"And I'll tell you in response that I scraped my knees when crawling up from hell, and it was not worth it if I got stuck at this party. Charity my ass." She had thought her language would make him go away, but he actually gave a wolfish grin,

"Thank god. I was worried I was the only one hating this."

"Then what're you doing here?"

"Uncle uses me like some toy. I know I'm beautiful, but I also want to be left the fuck alone." He turned to look at everyone else, to where Adrien and Marinette were stealing the show, their grace and love evident as they glided across the dance floor. The fans were probably shrieking, but Zoe for once, found herself fascinated by this man.

"Who are you?"

"Oh. I'm Eli Sommers. And I take it you're Zoe Carpenter." Zoe nodded, walking out onto the balcony that hadn't existed a couple hours ago. She looked at Eli and sadly noted he was not wring when saying he was beautiful. She had been hoping he'd not have enough to brag about, but he did. His chocolate colored hair made his eyes stand out, and he was wearing a loose yet formal black shirt, and black pants holding little to the imagination that she hadn't been wanting to think about.

"Well Eli, why'd you come look for me?"

Eli shrugged, "I didn't. I just saw a damsel in distress and couldn't help but save the lady before I book it to save myself. He sat on the railing, "I'm going anyway, but do you want to come with?"

She thought about it. Go or stay? Well, she had slipped a condom into Adrien's jacket pocket, so he didn't need her, and she really didn't want to stay at this party. She nodded, and the duo jumped down into the garden and snuck out of the open gates.

"Now, the party ends at sunrise, so we don't have much of a time limit."

"No need for midnight, princess?"

Zoe lurched up at that name. The name Cat Noir used for Marinette in the French dub, which had sadly been chanced to Little Lady, and was now Mari or M'Lady. She had not expected to hear that nickname on anyone. "What did you just call me?"

"Princess. What? You look like one, and I've heard you're demanding like one." Zoe shrugged. He wasn't wrong. "So, what are we to do? I've never been to Paris, or else I'd be taking you places."

"What? You're not going to fall to your knees at my beauty like all the others?"

"While I'll admit you're a beauty, I am my own man. I am nobody's servant."

Damnit. That was hot. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. "How old are you?"

"Sixteen." Shit.

"Okay then, Eli. Let's go to the Eiffel Tower. The lights will be turning on in an hour." She led the way for about ten minutes, before hearing the sounds of a familiar voice. Nadja Chamack.

She tugged him into a dark alleyway, as stupid as that was, and found herself pressed against his chest and felt that he was like Adrien: he was in amazing shape. Looking at him, she would have thought him eighteen and nineteen.

He looked down at her, "What?"

"Shut up or we'll get found out."

He sent her a wolfish grin, "Make me."

Okay. What does one do in that situation? What could she do to shut him up before Nadja was on their ass. A small part of her brain told her to kiss him, but they had just met for the love of god! So, she resorted to silently threaten him.

He chuckled quietly at her expression, ordering him to shut the hell up before she cut off his tongue. "Feisty as they say, aren't you." He looked over the corner and saw what had her worried,

"Where'd she go?" Nadja asked her cameraman, "This is a huge scoop! We can't lose them."

Eli looked between her and the reporter, before throwing a rock, distracting them, and swiping the memory card all in one swift motion. They left the alleyway without noticing.

Zoe gaped at him. She had never seen someone do something like that, besides herself. "How did you…"

"Isn't this what you were worried about?" He asked, twirling it between his fingers, before pocketing it, "Well we don't have to worry even if they do catch us. Now let's get to the Eiffel Tower."

Okay, he was taking command, and while she liked it in a way, she was used to being the one to boss people around, "Don't forget I'm your guide. I lead."

"Whatever you say, Princess." He muttered sarcastically as they walked.

The stars really were beautiful tonight, with the fireworks going off to celebrate another victory for the heroes.

At least they were until Zoe tripped on her heels again, and again, and again.

By the fifth time, they were conveniently in front of a shoe store, so they stopped, and she got herself some cheap black flats and ditched the heels. Much better.

At fucking last, they made it to the Eiffel Tower.

"Wow. It's more beautiful than I imagined."

Zoe rolled her eyes, "Like you?"

"Exactly." He looked down at her, "You look hungry. And no, I'm not physic, I can see you wistfully looking at that pizza stand over there."

"Yeah. I haven't eaten in close to twenty-six hours."

Eli gave a gasp of horror and dragged her over to the pizza stand, "Two…" he looked between her and the pizza man, "cheese pizzas, please."

"Of course. Name?"

Eli froze, but this was not Zoe's first rodeo in this or any universe, "Claudia Mitchells."

"Okay. Your order will be out shortly."

They walked towards the Seine and sat down by the water while they waited,

"Claudia?"

"My alias." Zoe answered honestly, "My mother was kind of abusive, and would literally spike our food to make us think we were allergic to stuff she didn't like. I figured it out pretty early on and began buying food myself under the name Claudia Mitchells, that way I could get food for my sister and I when I said I as throwing away the mistaken order, when I was stuffing it in by backpack and running inside through the garage."

Eli winced, "Sounds like you had it rough. And I noticed the use of past tense. Is that why you're Gabriel's ward?"

"Yeah. He doesn't like me too much though. But I think he's a dick, so I don't mind." She fiddled with a strand of her hair, as the band had long since fallen out, letting her hair flow freely.

"Claudia Mitchells?" The pizza man called, and Eli grabbed their food.

"Enjoy."

They ate in silence, listening to the fireworks and the sounds of people cheering and partying all around.

"Thanks Eli. I don't think I would have survived that part any longer."

"Don't think I would have either." He stood up, "Come on, the night's still young, and you still insisted on showing me Paris."

"Horseshit! I did not!" She laughed as he helped her up, "I said I'd take you to the Eiffel Tower."

"You also said we had until sunrise, and we have until roughly eight for that. That's eight hours of keeping away from snobby old rich guys."

He wasn't wrong. She smirked up at him, "Alright Eli. Notre Dame?"

"Can you take me to the school?" He asked, meeker than she had thought possible of him, "I'll be staying for awhile and I'd rather not to home schooling. My uncle's making me take Running Start, so I'd only be there partial time but…"

They began walking as Zoe softened, "Running start? Staying awhile? Uh oh. You've got baggage too."

He nodded, "My father is my uncle's younger brother; you know, the stereotypical younger less successful brother. My mother died of cancer when I was young, and my father got addicted to heroin. Oh, and I'm from New York."

Zoe winced, "Damn. I'm sorry for you."

"Don't be. You weren't involved." He sighed, "Besides, Hakuna Matata, no worries." She took a step back, shocked,

"Did you just make a _Lion King_ reference?"

"Yeah. So?"

"I'm just surprised. Didn't think you'd be into stuff like that."

Eli smiled, returning to his more confident self, "There's a lot you don't know about me, Princess. After all, we only met, what, three hours ago?"

"True enough."

They walked in silence once again, until the made it to the school,

"Here's the school. It's closed right now, but we could probably sneak in if you want to."

"Nah. Why in the name of sanity would I break into a school?" She giggled as he continued, "School sucks! And from what I here, it's the prime place for a terror attack around here."

"And school isn't the prime place for a shooting in the US?"

He nodded, acknowledging the horribly depressing truth, "True enough. Where shall we go next?"

Zoe checked her phone, accidentally revealing the switchblade strapped to the thigh—but she was wearing shorts, so he didn't see anything. He just laughed, "US girl indeed."

"Through and through. But we seem to be getting cut short, as I got a text from Adrien that I should get back before Gabriel realizes I'm not in the bathroom. Turns out people got bored and started leaving and might be starting to miss us. That was ten minutes ago, and Adrien said we probably have twenty more before anyone gets worried."

Eli groaned, "So we're going back to the mansion? Damn. I was having fun just talking with a singular girl."

"And I one guy."

The snuck back to the mansion, and right below Zoe's window, Eli took her hand,

"The birthday girl still requires a dance, doesn't she?" Damnit, he was giving her puppy eyes. He pulled out his phone and started an instrumental of _All I ask of you_ from _Phantom of the Opera_. She scoffed playfully and danced with him, laughing as he found her ticklish spot just under her chin.

It felt like only seconds before the song ended, and she had to climb up to her bedroom.

"I had fun with you tonight, Princess."

Zoe smiled to him, "And I you."

She climbed up to her bedroom, only to find the lights off. They turned on as Adrien spun around in her chair,

"Where were you?" He asked tauntingly, "I had to cover for you all night. Sabine came and picked Marinette up, and she's keeping the dress. But father got irritated." He smirked, "And then I see you dancing in the garden to an insanely romantic song with a guy! Who is he?"

"His name's Eli." She answered, horrified he'd think it was like that, "And he's just a friend." She walked past him and pulled the condom out of his sit jacket, "Glad you didn't have to use that." She then noticed there were lipstick stains on his cheeks and lips, "Just the top stuff?"

"No. Just some kisses."

"Good." She started changing out of her gown and into some sweats as she heard the last of the guests leave, "Tell Gabriel I got a migraine and decided to retire for the night."

Adrien nodded, "Okay. You and I both deserve the sleep." He left, shutting the door behind him, "Night Zo."

"Night Adrien."

Once he was gone, she got in bed and began to close her eyes, when Blazze sat on his pillow,

"You seem quite taken to Eli."

"Yeah. He's nice. But he's just a friend. No more, no less."

She was asleep before she saw Blazze facepalm. Not realizing her slip of the tongue involving her world with Hawk Moth would soon make things a living hell.

OoOoO

Gabriel paced in his lair. What Fireheart had said about viewers and fandoms still in his brain, and how her attitude and mannerisms were very similar to that of his ward. And they had come around the same time…

It was like a light going off in his head. He had never even considered the idea until now, but once he voiced it, there had been signs of it since day one. She was different.

"Nooroo." The kwami appeared, "Yes Master?"

"Is there such thing as an alternate universe?"

Nooroo suddenly looked panicked, "Y-Yes Master. It's the one spell kwamis know how to do in the event our owner is in danger. A world where this world would be considered fictional television."

"Is it possible to reverse the spell, and bring someone from that world here?"

"Yes…" Nooroo looked worried, "Master, may I ask where this is going?"

"Zoe's Fireheart, and she's from another world. Am I right?"

Nooroo froze unable to stop himself from answering, to protect the young woman from her guardian, "I-I-I wouldn't know for certain. But from what I've heard, it would not be farfetched to think that."

Gabriel suddenly laughed manically.

"Don't you see Nooroo, while she may be a huge inconvenience, this means I could do it as well! Even the playing field and even learn Ladybug's identity!" He looked up to his butterfly window,

"Ladybug, you may have thought yourself clever, but you made a huge mistake." He looked to a terrified Nooroo, "It's time to even the playing field, and get rid of Zoe Carpenter…permanently."

 **A/N: And now, a full day of waiting. Maybe two just to make you all squirm.**


	20. Update

**Update**

 **Okay, so the sequel has been up for a few days now. I understand some of you may not have known that as I got a couple messages about it now and decided to clarify. It's called Fireheart and the Tiger.**


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